How often do you think of your T?

My T told me she'd live in my head the rest of my life.

I'm still trying to figure out if that's good or bad.

My other two T's don't live in my head!!

more than I'd like to admit

I actually said "I talk to you in my head and I want it to stop. I mean I'm sure you're a lovely person but honestly... " and T said that he'd been doing this a long time and no one had ever said that to him before. I later wondered if he meant the talking in the head or the lovely person part. It sounds like the head-talking isn't uncommon. But he's been doing this 25 years, I really hope someone has told him he's lovely before. Maybe it was that particular choice of word.

Ha...! Yes, my T is the voice of reason in my head. I'm reminded of that thing Hillary Clinton said about 'conversations with Eleanor'... and I figured if Hills can have imaginary conversations with Eleanor Roosevelt as a 'therepeutic release' then I'm sure I'm not crazy for having imaginary conversations with my T! I'm glad some of you here admit to experiencing that too

I eventually found that all those feelings surrounding T wasn't about T at all. Substitute all other significant relationship I had/have and I felt the same way... fighting feelings, trust/love was scarey and confusing, etc... So I realized that "trusting/loving" my T. was more about learning to be open and vulnerable enough to realize I want and needed those feelings in real life and being able to meet those needs with relationships outside the therapeutic relationship... I guess I view it as practicing...seeing that I survived being vulnerable with T. and I can do it with others..

I never said a word about it to T. I'm sure he knew it was going on but I wouldn't go there... I started talking about it a little as a correlation to some spiritual issues that I am having... Now that I'm on the otherside of all those feelings its not so scarey... My feelings about my feelings are way more accepting than they were.

Thank-you for three things.

Firstly explaining that these feelings are about other relationships in my life, I can sort of understand that

Secondly that you didn't have to share it with T in order to gain that insight. I would like to think I could discuss it with T at some point, but right now it would feel too much and it woud be nice to remain on an even keel for a few weeks at least.

Thirdly, highlighting that there is another side - phew - that gives me hope - Soup

in another thread someone posted a link to this blog and i got sucked into and i LOVED this artilce. im thinking it might be helpful in this thread!

http://whatashrinkthinks.com/2011/09...t-you-pay-for/

I used to think about T alot...maybe alittle too much, but in the last 3-4 months I hardly think of her, well apart from when an appointment is coming up, or if I am doing some homework that she set me, but I have been their, I dont know how I stopped think I just...did?? if that makes sense

Thank you thank you thank you.

I think of my T every damn day like allllllll day! I HATE it!!!

I think of my t and I really don't like it at all! I can't stand the idea that I think of someone I pay for a service more than I think of my husband and children some days.
Bluemountains

Yes I read that too - really helpful article - thanks

Wow - I had no idea this is how it is for so many of us - why does it happen - is that how it is for kids who have parents that they respect - that they carry their parents around in their head until they are ready to flee the nest?

I just don't understand it, beyond some kind of addiction type thing.

Interesting analogy with the parents, Soup. I never had parents that I could respect. With your insight, I agree that I must have a childlike feeling for my therapist...this must be why this bothers me so, because my parents were never dependable.
Thanks!
Bluemountains

As little as possible. The more time I spend here, the more it happens but I try to keep the focus more on the idea of therapy and me rather than the specific therapist

Soup, my kids tell me they can hear my voice in their heads, especially when they are under stress. They can hear my reassurance that they are okay and loved, or that everything will be fine soon. Even when they were small, it seemed to happen. My son's preschool teacher told me he fell really hard One day and she was worried he was really hurt. She said he picked himself up, looked himself over and said, "You're not bleeding; you're okay," and patted himself on the tummy and went back to playing. Which is exactly how I handled it when the kids fell. That sounds a lot more callous than it was. Lol. I would cuddle them, rub their their tummy and then reassure them they were ok with the 'you're not bleeding' comment and then try to get them playing again ASAP.

Anyway, both kids say they internalized reassuring, loving messages and can hear them in their heads at need.

My kids are cool,
What a nice post. Your kids are cool because you were there for them. And that is such a nice way to think about therapy too.

Open Eyes

Yes, me too and it's really not suiting my state of mind right now.

Right now it's constant-and I hate it...I get mad at myself for doing this

All the time-it is worrying me too.

I think I have become too dependent- like I would freak out, if he told me he cant/wont see me anymore.
When I was a child I promise myself never ever to be dependent on someone again. So I really don't know how it came to this and where to go from here.
I am afraid he is going to abuse this power... Yeah I'm starting to freak out, sorry, Ill better go...

Maybe it is because that is what our previous experience has been, which is why it is so scarey - I had experience of a number of people taking advantage of me trusting them and maybe for me this is why not only is T there, but it doesn't feel comfortable.

I think for me, somehow I need to take a risk and let it happen - hugs to you anilam - Soup

rairly go an hour without thinking about her

Not to scare everybody, but... I feel like I've been thinking about my therapist almost 24/7 pretty much for over two years now

I don't know how to make it stop... I've been thinking today about how I'd like to start spending my free time on hobbies, friends, etc. instead of thinking about therapy, and posting on therapy boards (even though y'all are a huge help and comfort--but sometimes I wish I could disengage from the whole process/experience), and reading books about therapy. My life would look so different if I could invest my time and emotional energy in other ways. It actually makes me kind of sad.

I sure think of him often... too often...
Sometimes I talk to him in my head, think about things he said, am happy he is there just to get angry at him in the next moment.
Sometimes I really hate this emotional rollercoaster...

Ditto! All I can remember my parents saying, together, like Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum, is, "Well, if you can't do it, you can't do it!" They never saw the times I pushed myself, they only saw the times I came to them, and believed me to be weak.