Welcome to couch number 23!

ya kind of freaking out about it now. it was stupid. but i desreve it i guess lol

East coast couch peeps - I hope you are all safe and warm in the snow.

Booyah!

Proposal saves $25,000 in real salary dollars per year, eliminates one set of employee benefits, gives several management staff and shift coordinators raises, and takes my salary completely out of the new work area so that they will break even.

I take on a lot of new stuff, but I will do almost anything to avoid being a group home manager or supervisor.

Let's hope boss buys it.

no it wasn't stupid and I am sure that is not how T reacted..it took courage and trust... it was all good, no bad

Hey Sconnie..i agree hope all the North Easterners are ok.

Chopin sounds great....hope you get one of those raises too, with all your hard work.

granite - good that you let the therapist see stuff.

Chopin - I hope boss goes for it.

Had an overall great session with my T tonight...But I'm a bit scared. I let her read my therapy journal (where I write down anything I feel during the day or night that might be something important for her to read or know about) and I explained in there that last time we talked, I had a flashback and zoned out while she was talking to me. She asked me if we could talk about that, and I said yes. She sounded concerned which made me feel bad (but I know it's a good thing that she was concerned. I'm just not used to people caring). She wants me to try and tell her when the flashbacks happen, or after it happened...But how do I do that if I don't realize that's what it is until long after? They're scary sometimes...sometimes hurtful and upsetting. I don't like to be stuck in the past in my mind. How can I help her help me through these? What are things that you guys have noticed is an outward "hallmark sign" of a flashback occuring or you're detaching/zoning out? I don't make eye contact so she can't tell by my eyes...I avoid it at all costs simply because it's intimidating and confusing to me.

It's so difficult to face things when you're so used to shoving them away deep inside for them to never see light as long as you can help it. :s

Good morning couch, despite my rise in anxiety over the last couple of days I feel good this morning.. For only one reason.. Today is my Friday and the start of my 4 day weekend!!! Wohooo!!! However, my typically short day has turned into a long one, which I can deal with!

I hope you all have a lovley day

Have a wonderful day

Good morning, it's cold dark and really windy here with this nor'easter blasting thru. Raining but no snow. I hear there's snow on the mainland though. It's so rough out there that my dogs wouldn't go out this morning. Which is fine, because I am not walking in this. Now they are sleeping on the couches. I know they'll have to pee sooner or later.

I find you guys hysterical sometimes...and very comforting. Thanks for letting post my scary crap. I think I am supposed to see that trauma woman today? Maybe? I don't have a time written down though, so I may just cancel. H is home today and we have to overhaul the house and make it sparkly. We have an agent coming in tomorrow to maybe put it on the market. I really don't want to move, but we may have to.

Yea...lots more going on in wiki world than I can even type about. Why is it when one little thing goes wrong the whole world caves in on you? I think I am a good person, or try to be (try really hard), but the higher power likes to pull the rug out from under me every couple of years.

Anyways...Love to you all...fistbumps, hugs and smooches. Everyone eat something pumpkin today! High in fiber... pumpkins are heart healthy and aid in weight loss. Loaded with beta carotene they fight cancer cells and wrinkles, more potassium than banana's they are a great post-workout snack, and they boost immunity for this nasty cold and flu season. And the seeds...wow...boosts mood AND lowers bad cholesterol. I think I'll throw some puree in my shake this morning!

hey girl vent all ya want. whats going on with your house? glad to hear from you today and stay safe with all this weather .it is going to turn around soon and we will be getting some better weather

(((granite))) morning. It's just a house, I will always have my family.

i know it is just a house and i an so glad you have such an awsome daughter and hubby

Did you get any snow granite?

yes we did but just a dusting but it is hugely cold here. do you have jackets for your babies

Do you really want this SD? I can tell you what comforts me, but it's what comforts YOU that is most important. What gives you that little breath that says "ahh, that feels comfy, I feel cared for". When your partner reads or plays word game with you? It has to involve another person.

My own examples are kind of simple:

When h brings me a cup of coffee.
When daughter cooks a vegan meal.
When son checks the back door before he leaves for work, just to make sure it's locked and I will be safe.
When my brother sends me a funny text out of the blue.
When H posts "my wife is amazing" on his facebook.

(these are recent things that they have done, because they know I am stressed and not feeling well)

I have one for Lex...but Sadie won't wear her's. I have thunder coats to that basically swaddle them tightly when they are scared.

Morning everyone! I am SO NOT looking forward to snow. I hate being cold. It's a beautiful day here, but supposed to change in the next few days. Storms Saturday and Sunday. I actually have a countdown to spring page already bookmarked on my computer. 131 days.

I'm a little concerned this post might get overlooked because of the nature of this thread. You might get more responses if you start a separate thread. I am NOT saying you shouldn't post this here, but I would like to see you get a lot of responses and some help with this.

My T and I discussed this. He cannot tell even from my eyes when I am having a flashback or dissociating. My complete and utter silence is the only clue, but sometimes I'm silent just because I'm thinking. We agreed that he will just check in with me periodically if I'm silence for an extended period.

In terms of what helps during the flashbacks, that varies a lot by person. For me, having him touch me is helpful. Several times, he has bumped my foot with his. This last time was really horrible. He leaned forward and took my hand and talked to me fairly softly but firmly and that was hugely helpful. I have read others mention that having the therapist lean forward toward them makes them more fearful.

Hey couch peeps....

I wore a heavy eye mask to sleep last night (well, this morning really, since sleep is a difficult thing for me right now)....and woke up with SUCH blurry vision. I've been up for over 3 hours and STILL can't see worth a darn.

I have T today....if I can see well enough to drive there!

mue - omg - I wonder if the mask temporarily compressed your corneas? that is so weird, i've never heard of a mask affecting vision. I wouldn't think it permanent, otherwise it would be a cure. maybe a warm or cool washcloth will help if they dried out, don't go too hot or cold.

I hope it's not permanent! I can't even see what I'm typing on my computer right now.....it's scary! I remember this happening to me before when I slept with a heating mask on my face to help with a bad migraine. I'd imagine it has to do with the pressure on the eyes...but it only took minutes for my vision to clear up back then.

The last time I went to the eye doctor was about 11 years ago when he told me I HAD to wear my glasses every day because my retina was detaching....I wonder if that has anything to do with it...As a side note, I don't wear my glasses as regularly as I need to, but I do wear them.

I'm going to try not to panic...I have way too many things right now causing panic in my life...there's no room for more.

MUE -- I think you should call your doctor. (and I never think drs are the answer) but this could be serious. I am not trying to panic you, but it may be something to check out sooner rather than putting it off.

Morning all....

I wish I had a thunder coat.

Hey Wiki, sorry about what's going on with the house, don't cancel T ( ie. put yourself last ) It's for you and you need that right now. If you wanna talk PM me.

ACK!!!

OK, I will call my eye doctor if it doesn't dissipate by the time I am out of my T session.

Of course, the last thing I need is another medical bill....especially with my dire financial situation. But, I don't want to be blind...so I gotta put it in perspective. Unlike my vision, which is totally out of perspective at the moment....

Well poop.

My boss loved my proposal, but it cannot be done. I underestimated one of the employees involved. I basically doubled her workload and she is barely getting by right now. The way my boss put it: "People who like her are starting to be quite concerned."

So he said we have 3 options:

1. We go with his current plan. The reason why he likes his current plan is because both the lady who took my place in my old role (QP) and I have expressed that we would like to be directors one day. We have to see if we can supervise to be able to do that one day.
2. We can reshuffle the proverbial deck of cards to see if there is another solution. The current QP may also balk at boss' idea. He's going to talk to her this afternoon.
3. I can bear down and prove that my current role is worth every dime I'm paid. Not exactly certain how I can do that yet.

So, we'll see. I have T today at 2pm. This is probably going to dominate the conversation. That will give me until next Wednesday to do more shame work. I finished the book last night, but it was the last thing I did before I fell asleep, so I haven't had much time to think about it.

I hope everyone is having a great day/evening/night!