[ready2makenice]

would you say that you trust your T a great deal? Do you tell your T everything,or only things that are on your mind,in that moment. Would you say that you're an open book with your T or a needle in a hay stack?

I feel as though I'm always back and forth between,trusting her with my first born child to not trusting her with holding a pen.

Right now,I'm a at a point,where I don't trust her at all. Honestly,I kind of hate her right now. (hate is a strong word for me)

Trust has always been hard for me, its something I've been struggling with my whole life. It's like I'm waiting for the day when she'll just drop me,for good,because that is always the outcome!!

Anyway,what is the trust like with you and your T?

[Leah123]

I am an open book. No topic is off limit, though it's been a growing process to feel that way and talk about the hardest things, certainly. I've been doing therapy with her for 9 months, 3 sessions a week or so, and it's been a process to share so much, it's happened in layers, in stages, and I have had very difficult moments where I felt I didn't trust her, felt furious at her, even, though it was out of proportion.

I still worry some about her abandoning me, but that's getting better.

I believe some back and forth like you're experiencing happens quite a lot. Perhaps you can discuss it with her?

Seems like hate is another issue from trust, not sure what happened in your therapeutic relationship, but definitely sounds important to work out. I hope it improves for you!

[HealingTimes]

It's taken 4 years but i think i trust her. The only thing i can't trust her with is that she won't abandon me. But that is my issue, and one we are working on.

[stopdog]

I would say I trust her as much as the situation warrants. Basically she is generally there when she says she will be, the fee has been what she said it would be, and generally she will stay back. I tell her the information that I know or believe will be useful for me to tell someone.

I trust my T. Trust comes relatively easy for me.

I am pretty much an open book, but what we talk about pertains to whatever is going on in my life at that moment, so I don't necessarily tell him everything (not everything is all that important).

[Aloneandafraid]

I trust mine completely. I find it easy to talk to her about most things (have been seeing her for 9 months but only now beginning to get to the real issues!) I worry about her not liking me, I worry about what she thinks of me and I worry about needing her more than is healthy! I trust her maybe more than I should.

[IndestructibleGirl]

Cognitively, yes absolutely. But the old reptilian bit of my brain is wary and reluctant.

[trdleblue]

This is a hard question for me to answer. I don't actually trust my t, but I do realize that he may be trustworthy. I have never directly lied to him, but there are things that I have not told him yet. I am always guarded, and sometimes more then others. This is something that I hope that I can change, because I do think that I have a good t, and I would like to make the most out of our sessions.

[Daeva]

Originally Posted by ready2makenice

would you say that you trust your T a great deal? Do you tell your T everything,or only things that are on your mind,in that moment. Would you say that you're an open book with your T or a needle in a hay stack?

Anyway,what is the trust like with you and your T?

I do trust my T. She has never judged me, always validated me, challenged me when appropriate, always does whats best for me. Always shown me care. She creates a very safe environment. I do trust her, I tell her almost everything, there are things i'm not ready to discuss but I do see myself talking to them. The set back with my counselor really damaged me, but I see myself developing a good relationship with my T even more now.

[tealBumblebee]

My T says that I trust her as best as I can. I think I trust her a great deal. I have a "second world" of sorts in my head, and in many scenarios I realize that I wouldn't call for a friend or family member if in distress - I'd call for her. She is the only one i'd trust to have my genuine best interest at heart. I do pull away from her often, and she accepts this graciously; always waiting with open arms when i'm ready to trust her again.

I don't tell her everything but sometimes I will tell her things that are on my mind at the moment - if she allows me the time and space to feel free to do so. I'm not an open book persay, but a book that is available to be read if she takes the energy to try to navigate through it.

It's perfectly normal (in my convoluted opinion) to waiver in trust. Trust should be earned not freely given. If you're not comfy trusting her in that moment, its best not to. Because there is always the chance that even if she didn't break the trust, you could deeply regret releasing information you were not ready to release. Then again she could surprise you and you may find that in giving her a little, it builds the trust between you two.

In regards to you hating her, the only way that can be fixed is internally or through discussing it with her. If its not a usual feeling for you then the situation should probably be addressed head on.

[Hope-Full]

I trust my T completely and entirely. There is nothing I can't talk about with T. There are topics I've not yet been comfortable bringing up, but that's not because of T, that's because of my fear of bringing up certain topics because I worry that if I bring them up, that means they're actually real.

It did take me a while, a good year, before I fully trusted T. I tested T tons! Pushing till I thought T would snap and dump me, being *****y or snotty and watching Ts reaction, being demanding and needy to see how T would handle me. T passed every test with flying colors - remaining calm, patient, and consistent. Now, T is my rock, the only person I have who I fully and completely trust with all of me. And T hasn't let me down yet in that department - ever patient, calm, and consistent (even when T gets frustrated with me!)

I trust my t and tell her everything. It was very hard for her to earn that trust though.

[ready2makenice]

Thank you everyone for all the post so far....I'm really on the fence about giving my T all of me. I just don't trust her right now. I feel as though she's hurt me and she has been hurting me since our recent issue. How can I trust someone I don't even really know?

The hate part,I honestly,have a form of rage towards her right now. I want nothing to do with the woman,asking myself,how can I trust her when she's made me feel like my feelings were invalidated,it makes me (hate) her for that.

I'm always worried I've shared too much and that I shouldn't trust her,that she'll abandon me

[Karrebear]

I do for the most part. Trust is big for me and it takes some major proving for me to trust a person. There have been a couple times where I thought she might have told a white lie just based on her body language, nothing major but still.

[crazycat000]

I trust my t with everything that I think she wont judge me about. If i think something might change her opinion on me in the slightest bit, I dont tell her. I feel like she would hate me or leave me and i really don't want her to do that.

[growlycat]

Main T has really earned my trust, yet it wavers anyways sometimes.

CBT T means well but his coach-like happy-go-lucky demeanor sometimes makes it hard to believe this guy can relate to me. He lacks depth personally and in his therapy style.
Likable, yes. Trustworthy…ugh I don't know.

[RTerroni]

I try to but as I have found out later on, Therapists have lied to me in the past.

[A Red Panda]

I don't trust my T. That isn't his fault, but I've only known him since the end of June.

I try my best to tell him the things that I would tell him if I did trust him - and he's always been quite good with that. But it terrifies me and in some ways makes it harder to trust him, because he knows so much about me. But each week when he doesn't say that he can't work with me, it also reinforces the fact that I can trust him if I could learn to open up and actually let people in.

[Bloem]

Yesterday I realized how much i started to trust my T. Some time ago, she thanked me for the trust i have in her. And told me that i was trusting her much more than she thought was possible for me. And now I think I trust her a lot more then at that time, maybe i trust her even completely. I can tell her anything, but do not always tell her anything. Especially if something really is quite difficult ' to speak out loud' or if taking good care of myself did not go so well. In the past I could easily hide it, i had my 'mask'. But my T has learned so much about me and observed me. That's even scary sometimes! Sometimes I do not even have to say how it goes, she can 'see' it. Even if I try to hide things, it no longer works so I can better be honest or say that I do not want to talk about it.

It took three years of intensive therapy with testing, pushing her away, not listening to her, i was impossible, not intentionally. But trust people was not on my 'list' and getting attached or needing someone also not on my 'list'. She has added a lot of new things to my 'list'. I find my new 'list' much better than my old one.

I'm glad that i started to trust her!
Bloem

[archipelago]

I also have difficulties with trust, mainly because I have trusted people before and gotten very hurt. And it probably is deeper than that as well. Still I do trust my shrink. There are times that have been rough between us and like fighting, but even though I didn't feel like I was trusting him, I was because I knew that we could work it out together so even though I was temporarily feeling mistrust, I still engaged with him, unconsciously feeling that he would come around and not hurt me or abandon me. And that was true so it fostered even more trust. Things like this though they wax and wane are just part of it when you are learning to trust someone with lots of personal meaning. There are all kinds of conscious and unconscious "tests" that are there to make sure, and make it safe for you to be able to trust. One thing I have had to learn the hard way is that trust can't be given, it has to be earned.

[reesecups]

I also have big issues with trust. I've had my T for a little over a year, but trust her more than any other I can think of. I feel like we can talk about everything (except sex) , which I know is my issue and have never had a T that I discussed it with. I think that in my head, when I first began seeing her, I sort of tested her to see what she would say or do before I felt safe with her. She passed all my little tests and I really do trust her a lot!

I thought I trusted him more or less completely, but today I found it very hard to do so. I don't know why. Trust is not an on/off thing, just like archipelago says. I've made several "leaps of trust", decided to trust him with something without being quite sure that it would be a good idea. And he's never let me down yet, but the complete trust still isn't there.

I do trust him to be ethical, not to tell anybody what I tell him or even that I'm his client, and to do his best to help me with the tools that are at his disposal. I almost, not quite, trust him not to judge me (he never has). I don't quite trust him to respect me. That's the toughest one for me, I think.