Couch 79: Spend some time on Couch 79 (snap, snap)

I slept a few hours more but still tired. Chemo for my H is tomorrow and see my T on Tuesday.

Sorry you're going through hard stuff, Murray.
MKAC: I love kittens! So cute!

Do you think many people invent situations and post? I thought that a couple of times but I assume most people are honest, at least in "our forums". Or was that only about posting drunk and making stuff up?

Maybe I'd better get up. It's almost 11 a.m.!

I'm anxious that people on here think I make things up. I just feel so alone.

Rainbow - A colleague at the party gave me a lift home and I made up some excuse about my H having to go I to work.

He's screamed at me all day. I can't go into it as he might read this - I'm paranoid. I know.

I just want to do something to show everyone how bad I am feeling. Not that anyone would care! I want my T to take care of me.

I'm sorry. I am just in a very bad place and feel so,low. I am probably taking the comments too personally.

I have never thought you made things up, Aaa. There have been a couple of people I got an artificial vibe from, but that was some time ago.

I think I am not always consistent in what I post, but that's because I remember things differently at different times. For instance, I recently posted about something I had also posted about a year ago, and when I read my post from back then I discovered that it was actually I who had made a suggestion that I remembered as coming from my T. If anybody were to keep track of my posts, a) I would pity them for not having better things to do, and b) they might find my stody inconsistent. But I think that's completely normal, actually. Somebody who has a coherent, cohesive story that never changes at all in any detail - that would seem more fabricated to me.

I don't think you make anything up, AAA!!! I so wish you would make changes in your life regarding your H! I wish I could help you! Maybe T is waiting for you to take the first step. She can't take care of you but she can be there for you and help you make changes so you can become happier.

Therapists, or at least the ones who are not completely insane, do not try to rescue clients even if they want to. It tends to be not a good thing in the end for anyone from what I have read and seen.

Hi stopdog. Just thinking that of anyone on these forums, I wish I could secretly hide in the room during your sessions so I could hear what you talk about! This isn't a critism, just plain ole curiosity!!

I am probably more authentic and better at expressing my true feelings on PC than in therapy. Purely because it is anonymous and also because I find the majority of responses non judgemental. I really don't see what would motivate someone to lie on here.

No. But the lyric that mentioned it rather jumped out at me, and i was like, whaaa??? Then given what the play is about, it fits. It just surprised me. As good writing should.

When I talk about someone being inconsistent, I am not talking about just minor stuff -- but rather saying one thing one week and the exact opposite the next. I totally empathize with some memories being erratic or inconsistent around abuse, so I'm really not talking about that either. Hard to be more specific without violating the guidelines.

man did i make a huge, huge mistake and i'm doing everything in my power to fix it but i'm scared of what will happen until the fix is active. i published a book of my poems on create space, and missed ONE thing - and it's a HUGE thing. One of my poems was inspired by a portion of a Robert Frost poem, and I forgot to remove the 4 lines of the poem before I approved my book. It was on there as a quote with him attributed, but what scares me is that I did not have permission to use it. I did not intend to leave it on there. I realized I had after the fact, and have made it unavailable, made the changes but haven't made it available again yet and probably won't after this. I am terrified of copyright infringement and the penalties of that. There is just so much technology out there now that the copyright owner could have some bot or something that constantly scans the internet for stuff and could find my book for sale in the interim still until it gets pulled down. I'm freaking out over this. I did at least upload the correction, so if it does by chance get ordered the printed copy would be the corrected one, but the "look inside" preview still shows the un-corrected copy. I don't know how long it takes for that to get fixed. I have already emailed create space letting them know what happened and that I corrected it and that I pulled it, and asking them to please make it unavailable as fast as possible, please somebody stop my brain from this spiral it's in, I've done everything I can do at this point to fix my mistake but I'm still terrified. Any advice for stopping my freak out spiral??

I guess I'm naive and assume everyone to be honest, or as honest as they feel they are comfortable to be at the moment on the forum.

I think I annoyed my T a little last time. I was complaining that my meds made me flat. And she reminded me that I said I was used to feeling flat before this recent major bout of depression kicked in. Like I was contradicting myself, or complaining about the meds working or something. But really it was different, the meds made me numb, not flat like normal and I didn't express this properly. Bringing it up next time.

Point is, in every day life, on this forum, and in therapy, sometimes my mood can make me sound like I'm contradicting myself. I know my mood at the moment alters my perception of things. I can't help it right now and I'm not always aware of it until after the fact sometimes.

Art... You realized your mistake yourself which is always best and you corrected the situation. That is the best you can do. What is done is done... Don't waste energy going through all the what ifs ...if you have done everything you can to correct the situation going forward.

Thanks RTS that makes me feel a little better and I know you're right, catching it myself and taking the steps to correct it immediately has to work in my favor. I've never been strong on being logical especially during a freak out. I am calming down now.

There is room for proactive compassion short of rescuing.

Some of us are bipolar. And not everyone has a good grip on reality.

An attributed quote of four lines is perfectly legitimate. You have nothing to worry about.

Your pain seems very real to me.

A3 I know you are honest here and im sorry you hurt so much at times. I don't think most people here make things up.

Sorry I said anything. As I said, I know my tolerance levels are low. That's why I am not posting on other threads.

Hundreds of people join this forum every month. Of course some will be dishonest or trolls. I don't think those people tend to become long-term members though. And I am sure none of the couch people is fake

I was thinking something along the lines of this, too, CE. I think some people who post here have very chaotic emotional lives. Some people may very well believe what they post, and then their reality might go full circle on them by the next time they post. I also think we are only seeing a snapshot of what goes on in their lives when they post here, so we are only getting part of the story (and sometimes it's missing pieces that are never quite filled in).

I am so not happy with any of my technology today. And now it is raining, tropical rain, I can't see anything outside window, except for rain, rain, rain. I need milk and potatoes and the shops don't open for another 25 mins. Did I mention the rain? I hate the rain

I totally get this...Zoloft made me totally numb to feeling anything at all! And I would rather feel depressed than not feel anything. I hope your T is able to understand what you meant...maybe you can talk to your pdoc (or gp) about adjusting your dosage or changing your meds?

It has rained so much where I live this summer...soooo much freaking rain. Today and yesterday were the first few days w/out rain (or just drizzle and dark clouds) for several days. Lots of days it has been monsooning outside, tho. My backyard has weeds that are gynormous (I can't walk into the trees anymore), and my deck is covered in green crap that I need to talk to my father about coming to powerwash off before I fall on my butt taking out the trash. So yeah, I feel your pain!! I hope it stops for you soon!

What I said last night was not an accusation pointed to anybody on the couch. A thread had sparked the long standing thought in my mind.. and probably a flaw I have too. I tend not to believe people, and that can be very hurtful, because I would like to hope to believe the majority of people are telling the truth about their lives both here on pc and IRL. Sorry again.