Couch 79: Spend some time on Couch 79 (snap, snap)

I really don't like that some of these articles are now "sponsored" by online dating companies. What's next, articles sponsored by big pharma?

Awesome Leah! I'm crossing my fingers for you One day I'm going to be brave enough to do this kind of stuff too...

What? You mean they aren't already??

I'm supposed to be updating my resume. Instead I'm here. I should at least go to sleep...

My sleep is all upside-down.

So I'll post silly stuff…

"You're driving crazy. when are you coming home"

MKAC I wasnt having a go at you, i just found the articles interesting.

Hello Couch. Just wanted to say "hi" - I am feeling really, really low and weird at the moment. I think it best if I take a bit of time out - I'm sorry. I hate the way I feel at the moment. I just believe that no-body likes me or wants me around. Here and IRL. I know I am being over sensitive but I just cant help these horrible feelings. I don't want to feel this way. I think I would feel better if my H would apologize to me for all the horrible things he has said but he won't. I reached out to friends IRL over the weekend but didn't get a response and now have just heard they are all busy & can't see me this week. It just confirms I really am a waste of space (as my H tells me daily).
I'm sorry. I don't want to feel like this. I know I frustrate everyone.

Love that song.
"My therapist said not to see you no more
She said you're like a disease without any cure
She said I'm so obsessed that I'm becoming a bore (oh no)"

I hope you keep posting. I have wondered if I belong on pc myself but we DO belong.

Wishing your H was kinder…is he verbally abusive to others too??

Thank you so much growlycat.
He speaks his mind but isn't usually abusive to others although he always says what he thinks. But to me it is a constant stream of negative remarks, criticism, shouting - really shouting. Just horrible.

(((AAA))) I'm so sorry. I wish your H can really hear how it affects you. I would hope that he would care if he knew, really knew.

morning peeps .today I am going to do my laundry and pack. pool time if the sun is out and then maybe take off to the scrapbooking store I found to kill some time and be away from the mother a bit. I leave tomorrow morning for home .I will get home to late to go to my regular T appointment so I need to wait until next Tuesday to see her. that will be 21 days. I am really trying to keep it together and as soon as I get home things will be hopefully better.

im sorry A3

omg the mother is annoying me already .she said wait until Monday to do your laundry so I did was going to do it this morning .she has not done laundry all week I get up to do it and guess what low and behold the mother is putting her laundry in .what a surprise. now I need to do it later and screw up my days plans .it was perfect to do it first thing and the mother knew I was going to .in fact she told me to. now to change the plans of the day

She may have meant for you to put your undergotchies in with hers - thats what mine wanted - i was soooo grossed out. She was washing everything in one load and with cold water and no bleach - stuff was coming out chunky. At least when i lived with her i made sure things got separated and clean. She complained the bleach wore out the elastic on her undies. I didnt care as long as they came out bright white.

Go out and have your day the way you planned and do laundry tonight or tomorrow morning would be my suggestion.

If you have enough clean clothes for tomorrow, I would take them home dirty rather than change my plans.

AAA, have you thought about taping him while he is abusive and playing it back to him later when he is calm so he can hear how horrible he is?

(((Alone)))
Remember, all this negative sh^t he unloads on you - it's about him. He uses you as an emotional sink for all the things he can't bear to feel about himself.
He's not going to apologize or even feel bad about what he says because the mental gymnastics that he has to do to keep making his stuff about you makes it impossible. The only way to get him to back down is to throw his crap right back at him. And that is *hard*. Ask me how I know
Bottom line, you have to stop looking to him for any type of acceptance or validation. I know that's rough, because I'm sure at least a part of you still loves him (and that's normal and okay). Believe in yourself. You are a worthwhile and valuable person. You are kind and caring. And you do belong here.

Aaa, I wish your H was not so insensitive. Relationships suck, they really do. (the romantic kind, I mean - friendships can be good.)

granite... the mother really is a piece of work. I would wait with the laundry, too. Getting some time away from her sounds more important.

I saw a very good friend of mine today. It's been four years since we last saw each other, and tomorrow they return to Australia. I feel ridiculously miserable about this.

Have a mild sore throat today, hope it doesn't get any worse.

So effing stressed right now.. MIL is all worried about her bipolar son, she asks me for advice as far as what we do to help keep his mania not turn into psychosis.. I say, I don't know.. now is the time to call his T (who happens to be my T) and she just doesn't. Luckily BIL sees T tomorrow. I have an email composed to T, as he knows I have been a primary "care taker" when it comes to BIL getting into the hospital dealing with his bipolar, etc.. but it doesn't feel like my place. I am just going to ask him to call MIL anyways.. I know that I am somebody that in general is able to reach out for support when I need it (sometimes I can be stubborn, I know) but- I don't get people who are looking for help, but won't reach out to those people who can give them the help that they need. I am just frustrated, because I know where this is going to end up, and its going to me and my H dealing with his psychosis and getting him hospitalized and I don't want to do that again.

have you checked out meetup.com? i've met some awesome people through a group I found on there, they have stuff going on just about every weekend that I attend. Was at one last night, the labyrinth walk I mentioned earlier. I meet somebody new just about every time I go, there are LOTS of folks who are members of the group but not everyone goes to everything so it's always a varied group. I've been spending time with this group of folks for a year now and have made some good friends; I consider them my soul family, and it's been very very good for me as far as learning how to be a social creature. Before current go-around of therapy, I only ever made friends at work, and so going to my first meet-up a year ago was my very first attempt really at making friends outside of work as an adult. It has gone VERY well so far!! Good luck with finding new friends in any case!

granite - i'm sorry your day got messed up, i'm with sd, take the dirty clothes home with you and do the rest of your plans for the day. You deserve to do good stuff for YOU!!

rTerroni hope your throat starts feeling better.

healed wish I had some words of wisdom for you but can only offer hugs and sending good thoughts your way

aaa I'm sorry your h is like that to you, that's got to be so hard, i'm sending good thoughts your way as well

and everyone else too, i'm heading off to work now and probably won't be back around for a few days, working half a day then have to come home and pack cuz we're heading for northern CA tomorrow morning to visit my h's family. we have a long drive ahead of us!! have a good week everybody.