What would make you feel a T genuinely cares for you or loves you?

True, I didn't mean to imply at all that people with Doctorate's are less affectionate and caring people than people with Master's Degrees.

What I really meant is that they are trained very differently. Ts with education beyond a Master's degree tend to follow a medical model whereas those with Master's in Counseling or Social work generally do not. So in this respect they may have a difference in approach and how they relate to clients.

My T doesn't speak to me except to do therapy, so she is very professional but does not particularly care for me I don't think.

The few times I thought maybe she does care it was because she used my first name to address me or because she was very emphatic in her responses.

Nothing as that is not really the therapists job, I'd be one of multiple patients/clients they see...why should they have special feelings of genuine love or care for me specifically when I am just another client? I guess another thing is i wouldn't particularly value that kind of thing from a therapist, I'd want more practical help with mental problems I have...which admittedly I have not succeeded in finding such therapy yet. The last thing I want is to have to worry about some emotional bond between me and a therapist to maintain...I already have enough people in my life more in the close friend/family category for that, not that I mind but yeah I don't need to concern myself with that when it comes to a therapist.

It is nice if they get along with me and care about my well being in the since that they will provide the best therapy they can and not half ***** it...but genuine love or care for me would seem a little over the top and I might start wondering what it is they 'really' want from me.

i don't know about "illusion" - maybe i am comfortable with the idea that my t likes other clients and cares about them? i mean, i think he can care about multiple people. as for feeling special... i have two kids. my youngest one is too young to feel it yet, but when he is older and if we have other kids, i can make each kid feel special without diminishing the importance or value of the other children. my oldest will always be my first baby, my second will have his own place, and if we have more, they will have their places.

the fact that my t moved things around to give me my regular time doesn't mean he doesn't value the clients he moved. he may do something else for them that reinforces their place in his professional life. and that's okay. I don't feel possessive of my t.

A mother has enough love for all her children. Or so they say.

Well, I will try to ask T directly about this tomorrow. Wish me luck...!

I've been seeing my T for 5 months, we meet twice a week. We clicked immediately. I'm 40, and this is my first time seeing a T as an adult. She's told me she cares about me and that she holds me in deep regard.

She has shown that she cares by checking up on me while on vacations or between sessions if I had a particularly bad one, she gives me a long, healing hug at the end of every session, and most recently she's come over to sit next to me and hold me if I need the care or reassurance. So not only has she said it, but she shows it too. Do I think I'm "special?" No. My guess is she's probably this way with any of her clients who are accepting of it.

Although she did text me photos once, of a place she went on vacation, because I had mentioned how I'd love to see a pic. She sent several. Even though there are times I'm not thrilled to go to a session, I am very happy to have found and clicked with a T right off the bat. I didn't ask her about boundaries or what she accepted/didn't accept, but I'm thankful she is who she is, and does what she does. I know a lot of Ts restrict "touch" to just a hand shake, or charge for reading/responding to Emails. My T encourages me to Email her, and they can be long. But she also knew, especially near the beginning, that writing was a lot easier for me than talking face to face. She learned a lot about me through Emails, that, had she not accepted, she may never have known. Some things just didn't seem important for me to share, yet she felt were VERY important. I'm thankful to have her.

Honesty.

I have had a lot of difficulty reaching out between sessions if I need help, I feel like a burden. When we discussed that once, she said to me

"If you are having a hard time and don't call me then end up hurting yourself, I'm going to come see you in the hospital and kick your ***!"

It's the only time I've ever heard her swear, so the emphasis really did feel like she cared.

I am always interested in how different people react to this sort of thing. It would totally piss me off if a therapist said this to me. (note I am not criticizing - just musing about the differences). I would not take it as caring at all. Just thinking about it makes me feel all trapped.

I am on the side of caring with AncientMelody.. OMG, if my T ever said something like that to me, I would probably finally not be able to hold the tears back anymore. To think that someone cared enough to say that would be overwhelming. Still don't know that I could get my mind to believe it were true though. I would rationalize the million other reasons it were said to me or what it might have really ment, but man it would be nice to fantasize that someone really did care like that... oh to dream.. LOL

I hear you. I think that's the interesting thing about therapy....so many differing personalities on both the client and the therapist side, what works for one person may not work for the other. I see it in general medicine too. A lot of patients really like that I spend a lot of time discussing holistic options, but others prefer to just get their meds and get the heck out of the office

Well... as I live in an institution where my T works, we're in touch a whole lot. Honestly I love him. Too much. He always says I'm bright, that he believes in me, that he loves talking to me etc and I can tell by his facial expressions he means it. I've heard from the other staff that he always talks about how much he loves having therapy with me etc. Since I'm moving out of the institution this month he offered to use his freetime to talk to my new T when I get one, also he's taking me out for lunch after I moved out to have a proper goodbye. At first I thought I had romantic feelings for this man, but I realized I just want him to be my father. I want him to hold me, stroke my hair and tell me everything is gonna be okay. I'll miss him like crazy. I'll never find a T as good as him. God, writing this makes me sad...

I am messed up because I thought my T did care for me until he enlisted my former friend as his client. He never told me he was doing this and neither did she, therefore she is a "former" friend. My T then proceeded to favor her over me because he "fell" for her hook line and sinker. He turned against me in the end so I guess I do know how he ultimately feels about me after all.