LCM showing up randomly at work

Okay. But it is the RELATIONSHIP that heals. Why is pc all of a sudden the licensing board?

I had the same reaction to the post at first, i admit. But i really think there is more to it now. This might be what you call a rupture. It can end up making the relationship stronger, and being a positive turning point in the therapy.

So its an alternative relationship. This whole field didnt even exist not so long ago. We dont know what absolutely "works".

It seems people are giving the easy answer - see someone else - then what happens in six months when the same thing happens, this time with a licensed therapist? Oh, that wont happen? I think we see the same type of scenario here all the time. Imo. I guess thats where my opinion is different. I'll shut up now!

I agree. Whatever credentials she has or doesn't have to change the effectiveness of the therapy drastically. Plenty of therapists, not all of them, with licenses abuse them and violate boundaries and are just bad overall. LCM has her own opinions and perspectives of the practice and takes things a little differently.

I don't think running away from a relationship because of something small like this is worth it. Even a bunch of small things. She made a mistake. We'll talk it through and be closer because of it.

But in all this, where is the harm in adding to what your life coach offers so that your feelings are not totally reliant on this woman? For example I have a therapist, do meditation and yoga. Why not extend your circle?

Don't run away but don't base your life on one woman who makes these "mistakes"

I don't think I read a post saying that you should outright leave her and search for a therapist to replace her, I think the majority of people here (forgive me if I'm wrong) were saying to search for a therapist on the side. Not to leave the LC, but to seek an actual therapist as well. Which sounds like a good idea.

And what happened here doesn't seem like a small thing. Your reaction definitely wasn't small and how you handled it (drinking with meds, etc) shouldn't be overlooked.

I don't think anyone is asking you to give up LC. We're asking you to find someone who can actually help you. You yourself stated that's what LC wants too. So you might not like the replies, but we're technically agreeing with your LC. And again, this is based off what you have told us. So my interpretation is that your LC wants you to find a T because she feels she's not qualified to /can't handle your issues.

She isn't in therapy. This person isn't a therapist. Sure she acts it out in real life.

She cries so bad at her work place that she is asked to leave and then goes home and drinks half a bottle of vodka. That is as acting out in real life as it can be among other things she described.

I actually am in therapy but started fairly recently. I am sharing my experience to show her That I understand unhealthy thinking and attachments. Sooner she starts to heal better she will get.

I can't just sit here and say what she is doing is fine and dandy. I care about people. If anyone in my family drank like this and otherwise self-destruct, I would be heart broken, this isn't ok.

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Any number of people report having these same sorts of reactions to their duly licensed state approved therapist. And any number of duly licensed therapists do not know how to handle clients who do have this sort of reaction. The license is not magic. It may be some sort of safeguard, but a client is free to not play safely.

True. People get obsessed with whoever. The issue is not growli is obsessed, many people with mental health issue obsess over others. The issue is that growli doesn't attempt to heal any of it through proper therapy as LC doesn't qualify and is bad about boundaries.

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Agree. This isn't small. If I ever cried at work so bad I had to leave, I'd be in major trouble. This isn't small at all

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I do not presume to know what the issue is for any other person than myself. I certainly do not want others thinking they get to define what my issue is that needs fixing or whether I am attempting to heal or not.

A "therapist" (I use quotations since your LCM is not a license therapist) should never upset you so much that you have to leave work and go home and drink yourself into a numb state. My previous T (who was a licensed therapist) treated me very similar to the way LCM treats you. I got very attached to her. My T had ******* up boundaries, lied to me several times (saying that my program T never contacted her when I know she did, said she would give me homework on certain things and never did, ect.) didn't take my suicidal ideation seriously. She basically was a horrible T, but I couldn't see that because to me she was everything to me. In the end, she hurt me more than she helped me. My point is, the same thing could happen again with an actual T but its unlikely if you do your research on them. I don't see the need to end your relationship with LCM but I do think you deserve to continue your therapy with a great license T who has great boundaries.

Also I forgot to add, I use to get major anxiety before each appointment that I would SI right before I'd go in. It was super awkward sitting there with a wad of tissues under my sleeve every week. There was also one time she double booked and sent me home and it upset me so much the I SI to the point of needing stitches. So I understand how you felt the need to go home and drink but no one, especially a mental health provider, should make you feel the need to do that.

I agree with Hankster. One hundred percent. I say that not just from reading this thread, but from reading all of Growli's threads. I also agree with stopdog. One hundred percent.

My own thoughts: Getting rid of LCM will solve nothing because the pain is coming from inside you, Growli, from some really insecure attachment and transference issues. I hope you also find a T who's specially trained in trauma work for the special kind of trauma you suffered.

But I don't see any reason at all that LCM can't remain an important part of your support network. Keep LCM. Talk to her about your feelings and freakouts. And, as many other posters who care deeply about you say, get a trauma T to help with some deep trauma work, something LCM is probably not trained to do.

As long as LCM and a trauma T work on the same wavelength, there's no reason you can't have both in your life. I see it as a both/and situation; not either/or.

Take Care, Growli.

She isnt secretary of state! She was ushering a concert! I have cried at work. People dont have to be robots. As long as you are good at what you do.

Ushering is not even her main job, but are people treating it like it is, and therefore seeing the problem as more serious than it really is? That could be another reason for the disharmony (pun intended).

She then went home and drank half a bottle of vodka because she was very upset. I don't know...perhaps that is ok for some people. I don't think it is and most people would not think it is ok

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You keep changing what you are upset about. Like you argue in circles? Its not about winning an argument here. Its about exchanging opinions, sharing info, sharing experiences, offering support.

I dont drink. She is young and went home and drank alone and wrote here. More good than bad, imo. Was the bottle half empty or half full? (sorry, couldnt resist!)

You seem very upset and argue about I don't even know what. I am unsure why. The bottom line is many posters pointed out growli isn't doing well and needs professional help dealing with mental health issue. LC isn't trained for that and contributes to various issues by not enforcing the boundaries.

Growli herself admitted that she drinks to the access. It is dangerous and can lead to alcoholism and something needs to be done, again perhaps therapy?

You don't have to agree. We are all entitled to our opinions. No need to get upset.

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Okay. I was not sent home because I cried so much. My supervisor that day was my friend. About 15 mins after she showed up, I went to my friend and said I need a minute to collect myself in the restroom. I started choking on my words when I said that. She let me go and I cried in a stall. She came a few minutes later and talked to me. She said that she could cover my post and tell our boss that she had put me on a different position that didn't last the whole time if I needed to go home. I tried to work a little longer, but I ultimately took her up on her offer because I didn't feel like I was able to manage the crowd effectively at all. When I said I was sent home or asked to go home, that was overdramatic and not what actually happened.

My main opinion of the matter is that the OP needs a trauma T. I also don't think she should get rid of LC.

I don't agree with many of the OP's actions. I do understand the feelings though I have never experienced transference / attachment / whatever you want to call it to that extreme.

But I am not perfect in anyway. If I look back to my past when I was 18...the OP is a ton more functioning than even I was. But my situation was extreme. I didn't just feel like I had no one. I literally had no one. My dad walked out on us, my mentor abandoned me, my h.s. friends went off to college, I had a breakdown requiring hospitalization, my mom kicked me out while in the hospital, no one from my church would help (200+ members, 2 mother-figures, and a ton of friends), so I was left homeless with no one and nothing.

I've had over 20 mother-figures in my life starting from age 5 up until 22. I know how that love feels. I still crave it. But I have realized that no amount of love will fill the hole inside me. The only thing I can do is build myself and my life up, or quit. The loss of a mother-figure is incredibly painful. I do not wish it on my worst enemy. It is difficult to survive especially when that's the only person in your life. And I lost everyone all within 2 months which included 2 mother-figures.

I will have my mental illness for the rest of my life. I will require medication probably for the rest of my life. I have so much potential that is stifled by my mental illness. But that doesn't stop me from trying. I don't know what my actual potential is, but I know it's more than where I'm at.

It is my own experience that is triggering my reaction to the OP. I've meet tons and tons of people from all walks of life. I've met true heroes, real survivors, people who society chooses to forget. I saw beauty, intelligence, spirit, wisdom, value in those people.

I want (which I know I cannot force) to see the same thing in the OP and for her to see it too. I wish I could take her to meet those people. Hell, I wish the whole world would see those people. They are truly amazing. I wish people could see the beauty that I have found in the diversity of life.

So yes, it fruatrates me and saddens me to read the OP's posts. I'm a very caring and sensitive person (though I can be extremely blunt).

But from what I read, the OP isn't in a healthy situation. Maybe it's always been exaggerated by the alcohol abuse? I don't know. But all I wish in the end is for the OP to be healthy and happy.

Maybe this is what I needed to respond with? Maybe this won't even help. All I'm doing is trying to help in a way that I know how and a way that is true to myself.

I just have one question.. if she isn't a licensed T, how were you having sessions with her in patient? I don't get this part of the whole situation.

And I do have to say though, that this board is actually a place for people to come talk about their issues with therapy, their therapists, ask questions about therapy and so forth. I think that is what gets people all excited.. Therapy according to tons of different professional and state boards have certain boundaries, rules, expectations. While, I get that you aren't in real therapy with LCM, people come here and give advice based on those kinds of guidelines. So, I don't answer most of your posts, because to me- this is just a relationship with anybody. The T relationship is unique.. and what you have is not it, and if it was the real T client relationship I would be very concerned.

LCM texted me a few minutes ago to schedule tomorrow and to ask me for help with something. I told her I can't help her today and she said she understands and said we have too much tension. I'm now worried she feels the tension too but she probably thinks I'm just still upset with her or she wouldn't have asked me to help.

And before you get super crazy about her asking me for anything, she asked me to go to her website and check if it is running smoothly. You're supposed to have a bunch of people from different ages and backgrounds look at a website and try to navigate it so you know if it makes sense to them. She needs someone my age to look at it and give her feedback. It isn't like she asked me for emotional support or to come mow her lawn or anything.

Actually we're under 3ft of snow and counting so I'd hope she wouldn't ask me to mow her lawn right now lol

My T has asked me to check her website for something once before. Don't see how that's wrong.

It's not. People on this site just like to jump six feet ** ** ********* the second I mention anything about her

Some people on PC see clergy people for "counseling" and unless those people have licenses too, it is no better than an LC situation. But no one gets upset over those counseling situations.