Couch 91 - Forget the small change

healed84 · Mar 27, 2015, 09:33 PM

Sometimes I am baffled by the idea of inpatient treatment for more than acute care (you are a danger now, and need to be watched).. T came back to if you keep coming back to the place of suicidal thoughts, then maybe its time for "higher care." The place he would send me to, has an average stay of about 8-10 days.. So, what are they going to do for me in less than two weeks that my T hasn't done for me in the last three years? and I am even more baffled that I am actually thinking about doing it..

Mar 27, 2015, 09:43 PM

8-10 days seems like acute care to me. That is my standard hospital stay for when I go in suicidal and need medication stabilization. That isn't to say it isn't helpful. When I am that depressed, being inpatient where my pdoc can see me daily and make quicker and more aggressive medication adjustments is very helpful, and I do always come out in better shape than when I went in. He can't make those kinds of adjustments outpatient; the need to be under observation for the problems that can occur with that kind of aggressive med change is important, both for problems with side effects and the mental changes during that kind of adjustment that can be an offshoot. Sometimes waiting weeks and months to make slow medication changes is just not an option; the changes need to happen much faster due to the severity of my symptoms.

stopdog · Mar 27, 2015, 09:48 PM

I am watching Camelot on TMC.
Where are the simple joys of maidenhood? My favorite line is "shall kith not kill their kin for me"

unaluna · Mar 27, 2015, 10:03 PM

What exactly ARE kith??

Oh okay friends and neighbors.

Mar 27, 2015, 10:21 PM

Js good job on the door chain

I hate waiting around for the time to go do something.

Mar 27, 2015, 10:25 PM

I should be drafting an essay plan but cant be bothered. I want a choice of more interesting topics.

growlycat · Mar 27, 2015, 11:11 PM

Anyone know how to start a poll on pc? I can't find the instructions!

growlycat · Mar 27, 2015, 11:12 PM

aha I found it

StressedMess · Mar 28, 2015, 06:15 AM

Hello couch. Woke up at 6, on Saturday, which I can never manage to do on weekdays when I'm supposed to! Today has historically been my sleep late day, I want it back!!!!!!!

Happy Weekend Couch!

07:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KayDubs

So I'm on board with the gender fluidity concept, and it is my understanding that for some, it means they might feel more feminine in some aspects at times, and can switch to feeling more masculine at other times.

This plays out for me in an odd way. Physically, I have what could be considered a feminine build (big boobs + curves), much to my dismay at times. But I've always been a tomboy, passed for a boy for a few years before puberty put a quick stop to that, and I dress pretty neutrally most days (jeans + chucks + t-shirts or hoodies). I rarely wear makeup. So I don't think most people would categorize me as a "feminine" person. Sometimes I'll change it up and wear a flowy shirt, and form-fitting jeans, and boots, with my hair down, and on those days I come across as very feminine (still no makeup though). And I definitely FEEL more feminine on those days, whereas I FEEL more gender neutral (though still slightly towards the feminine side of things) most days.

What I wonder is: where does behavior and personality fit into all this? I'd say that I have pretty "feminine" values. I put a great deal of effort into relationship building (on personal, professional, and community levels), I am not a particularly competitive person (a trait some might consider more "masculine"), and I am a caregiver extraordinaire (thanks, cr@ppy childhood!). If those values informed my gender in any way, I'd say I'm pretty darn feminine. Does any of this make sense?

I had a few (er, several) beers a few weeks ago with a friend, and we came up with this...what if gender was measured on an X/Y graph, with appearance being one axis and values being the other? IDK, just something we were happily bantering about after a few strong beers.

Anyway, I think this is great stuff to talk about with your T. I know I've chewed my T's ear off over random stuff like this several times. It is very strange to think about yourself and your identity in a whole different context. And sorry for the delay in responding!

Thank you, Kay, that's a really interesting angle, and worth waiting for

I can relate a little to some of this, though I have never "felt" feminine, nor masculine neither. I have no frame of reference for that and I don't know what that might feel like. Clothes don't make me feel anything special - there are clothes I feel seriously uncomfortable and wrong in, such as any form of skirt or dress or anything that reveals too much skin, but I can't say that I feel good in any particular clothing. As far as I am concerned, clothes have two purposes: to cover one's body for modesty and warmth, and to print statements on. (I also have never used makeup, nor have I ever shaved any parts of my body other than my face.)

I like the X/Y axis idea on principle, even though I don't think there are any values that are more masculine or feminine. As far as I understand, being a caregiver is mostly about being given the opportunity and financial incentive, and to a lesser degree about personality. When there is financial incentive for either parent to be home with a child, men and women tend to divide the days fairly equally (there is a lot of variation between individual couples, of course.)

Add sexuality into the mix, and I'm completely lost at sea - but that's really much too personal to be discussed in public (or at all!)

Mar 28, 2015, 07:26 AM

woke up at 10 today.

Mar 28, 2015, 08:30 AM

For those interested, KITH is a very old word for a cohesive group of people. Often used with KIN, as in 'my kith and kin all do ...', or 'I am most comfortable surrounded by my kith and kin.' Generally it meant people having the same culture and values, living in generally the same area. Probably more of an explanation than anyone wanted.

Mar 28, 2015, 08:35 AM

I love words.

I took my niece shopping yesterday. She is 9, but has read an impressive amount. I used a couple of words and I could tell by the look on her face that she did not really know the definition, and I saw her trying to figure it out by the context. So I told her that I often don't know words and I used to be super embarrassed about asking for definitions, but I have learned even brilliant people like me, or her, cannot possibly know every word there is, so she could just ask me and not be embarrassed. She blushed a little and then we discussed the meanings of filigree and ombre, and several others. She is actually a pretty cool kid and I enjoyed spending some one on one time with her. Up to this point, I had thought she was just a spoiled little horror of a child. She treats her younger sister horribly (but then again, so does their mom). We talked about that some (how she treats her sister, not how the mom does), as well as a bunch of other things. We had some really good conversations. I still think she is spoiled, but not a horror, and I wish WISH WISH her parents could see the ways in which they harm her by catering to her and so obviously preferring her over her sister.

Mar 28, 2015, 08:37 AM

In case anyone is wondering, I do spend time one on one with her sister, my other niece, as well. We take turns having one on one time.

Mar 28, 2015, 08:39 AM

KayDubs · Mar 28, 2015, 08:40 AM

MKAC, you're a pretty rad aunt.

And I had to google the definition of filigree, haha. The more you know!

Mast, thanks for the thoughtful reply! I'll stop back in this afternoon to respond. You've given me a new perspective from which to view all this.

NowhereUSA · Mar 28, 2015, 09:27 AM

I'm awake! And drinking coffee.

JustShakey · Mar 28, 2015, 12:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NowhereUSA

I'm awake! And drinking coffee.

Me too!
I'm supposed to be taking phone calls for my boss again today. We'll see. So far the phone is silent.

RTerroni · Mar 28, 2015, 01:25 PM

Well I seem to have gotten in trouble for the wrong actions of my friend, I seem to have made up with him but I don't know how much longer this can go for.

unaluna · Mar 28, 2015, 01:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustShakey

Me too!
I'm supposed to be taking phone calls for my boss again today. We'll see. So far the phone is silent.

Ugh. Does she have the wrong area code for you or something? Can you ask her to try a test call? Of course you have to ask her with your - sorry i was gonna be gross here - so your voice might be a little muffled but she will probably be able to hear you better

#ihatebosses

JustShakey · Mar 28, 2015, 01:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hankster

Ugh. Does she have the wrong area code for you or something? Can you ask her to try a test call? Of course you have to ask her with your - sorry i was gonna be gross here - so your voice might be a little muffled but she will probably be able to hear you better

#ihatebosses

Lol, last week she 'lost' my number. Except it was still right there on her clipboard

She did connect me today, and the phone has rung a few times but she or the other woman taking calls have gotten it before me each time. It seems there really aren't enough calls to justify having three people taking them. Phone's only rung four times in two hours.

NowhereUSA · Mar 28, 2015, 02:11 PM

I bought a book. I started reading it. I don't think I can finish it for a while. It hurts to read it and I just want to cry and cry (it's a nonfiction book and there's discussion of parents who harm their children to the point of death through medical neglect).

I just.

I can't.

I'm sad because I really like this author but all I want to do is curl up with my boys.