What does your T look like?

Exactly like this.

This thread has had an interesting effect on me and I feel like sharing so here goes. Looking for (and finding) a pic of someone who looks quite similar to my t, posting it and then subsequently deleting the post, I felt, well, it sorta made me start missing her again, but in a different sort of way than I used to miss her before. When I used to miss her before, it was more I think, because I had projected so much onto her during our work together (mother stuff, grandmother stuff, blablabla) the "missing her" was somehow all tangled up with them? Or something? And that's why the missing her used to be so intense?? I don't know. But when we spent that little bit of time together again last month, I didn't have those projections in place anymore, and I was seeing and experiencing her as just "her" and nothing more, and it was such an honest and warm conversation.... that I'm missing her now in a "I'm so glad we got that chance -I am so lucky to have had her as my t - wistful, happy sigh" kind of a way. Does that make any sense?

I love it when a seemingly random thread inspires some good inner workings in me!!

I think I know what you mean. I've had brief moments of seeing CBT T for himself and not for what I want to see. There is something very valuable in that moment.

For me, it may be about seeing that he's as flawed as I am but in different ways and has his own insecurities. He isn't the image of perfection I put onto him.

My perception of who T looks like has changed this morning. I know he doesnt look even remotely like Marco Pierre White. Well maybe the unruly curly hair bit but today i see him as gentler but i still have no one to compare him too.

I don't find my transference going away... And at the same time, I DON'T want it too. I used I feel so guilty about it and I tried to be in denial. But now that I am more aware of it, and that I kinda told her, I'm worried it's going to end. And I'm worried I'll be too clingy and push her away. Or that I'll move on... Which is the whole idea. But I don't want to. As much as I want to get better, I don't want to because then it'll end. And I won't feel a need for that intense transference with her anymore. Blah.

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I'm drawn toward interesting and honest faces. I don't think I could see a therapist who wears make up.

Mine wears make up. But I do too so I can't say anything. Haha. Not a lot or like, crazy colors.

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She's a cross between Julie Andrews and Meryl Streep. Olive toned/fair skin, deep golden brown eyes, and crisp cheek bones.

But you know what Ameliaxxx? When the time is right, you WILL want to move on. That is where I am right now... in the "moving on" phase. (I never thought I would get here comfortably either!)

And growlycat seeing my t, person to person, "just me" (instead of "client me") and "just her" (instead of "t her") was a very valuable moment for me, too. It's like seeing this real person who is a successful, happy person in front of you that you had really only ever seen as "perfect" before - omg she actually has doubts about herself sometimes and she's a real human being just like I am and if she can be successful and happy with her flaws, then I can be too with mine! (I mean duh of course I always knew she was a real human being I never thought she was a robot or something but somehow with all the transference/projections you just don't know it on a conscious level or something.) I don't know what I am trying to say just ignore me haha! Anyway yes. it is a valuable moment.

I am scared to respond to this thread cos everyone's T seems so gorgeous and I have ET for T1 who is so not gorgeous that everyone will wonder what the hell I see in him!

I'm an 18 year old GIRL, who is sexually attracted to their 45 year old FEMALE T... No judgement here

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I really doubt that our T's are as gorgeous as we think they are!!

I love my "rob reiner" T more than anyone in the world, even though CBT has more in the looks dept.

True beauty comes from who the person is on the inside.... not just what they look like....!

(Besides, I always thought ET was kinda cute in his own way!)

Ok, while I have the (dutch) courage, T1 (who I have every possible variety of transference for) reminds me of Philip Larkin http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/fi.../08/larkin.jpg

PS, I am a 29 year old woman, making it all the weirder

Eah, I feel weird about my transference with my T too.

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Between this thread and Growly's what does your T relationship look like thread...
I'm just like a tween girl with T - with my friends, aka, other PC'ers, I want to laugh and say 'Ooo, my T is so goofy-looking' (insert giggles here), but then, well, see the little girl playing pretty pretty princess with her dad that I posted in Growly's thread:/
I knew I had paternal transference, but this is... I'm not sure how I feel about this...
I'm 36 btw, and my T is maybe 2 or 3 years older than me.

They come up to you at a party, you are really smart *** to them, they think you are funny, and they ask if you want to go have coffee with them the next day. You do and they ask you to do something else, and you do, and you let the person woo you. Like dating anyone else really. I am a lesbian and a good number of my friends are teachers and social workers. Hang out with enough social workers (some of whom are therapists) and there you have it.

Current T sort of, kind of, looks a little like Jamie Lee Curtis. I guess mostly because she's petite, her hair is short and left to go grey. No make up or very little.

Oh, I thought you were their patient before. Wow. Lucky you..

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Good lord no - I tried to explain I had never been a client of the one I dated. And not lucky - or at least no luckier to have dated them than they were to have dated me - in real life the ones I know are not super duper human beings. They are regular **** ups who have issues and are annoying like everyone else.

Mark Ruffalo, but leaner, less rumpled. amazing Patrick Dempsey hair. maybe something between the two. he's classically good looking, oozes affluence and is in his mid 40s. sometimes his looks get on my nerves. but he's a great therapist.

I wish I knew what my T's issues are... She won't tell me much though. And I am guessing that date didn't work out :/

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No - we dated for quite awhile.
The point is that in real life, they are not all attentive and caring and so forth. In real life they are just like everyone else. I don't know and don't care about what ever the ones I hire now have going on. Not my problem. I pay them to keep their issues away from me.

I really can't see past the fact she probably isn't as nice as she is in sessions. She has a life, and has her own flaws outside of the room. There is, SO MUCH more I'm missing and not seeing outside of the 10x10 ft room we sit in. A whole world full of information and truth, and other parts of her, that I don't see or ever will. But I know it's there.

And I can't see past that, if the therapeutic relationship wasn't there, she wouldn't care at all. She wouldn't know me. But it is not the how, but the why we met. Why do I care so much. I've seen her for nearly 5 years and I STILL CARE. I'm upset that I'm getting better and I won't need her anymore eventually, and I know once it comes it won't matter to me at that point but it hasn't come, and I don't want it to. Because if I really do want to let go at some point, then life really is just that impersonal. That's a very unsettling concept for me.

This is really depressing. I just wanted to know the why about my transference, which was helpful at first. Now I know too much and have analyzed too much. The truth hurts. I wish I was ignorant about it again. I feel silly and emotional while everyone else is stable and can go through without this level of attachment. I really ****ing hate this.

I'm sorry I'm ranting !!!

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