The Couch 146 : The Untouchable, Nontotient, Octahedral, Composite Couch.

I really want to look into drumming. Could you pm me some startong type info?

Having a great British baking marathon until my meds kick in. Sooooooooo tired.

((Artemis))

I don't want to discourage you, but this is the sort of rapprochement I used to have with Madame T. These days I would not settle for this. I would want to know what went wrong, for her to acknowledge her part in that and have a plan in place to stop it happening again.

((Cats))

. Bad news. Flu coming.

You needed to do that. T should say, "That was rough on both of us but on the other hand I'm really pleased to see you stand up for yourself."

I didn't really start therapy until I was 40. And I didn't finish until I was 50. Totally worth it.

I often wanted to rip off Madame T's mask and sometimes I succeeded. There was satisfaction in that. And sometimes I would punch through the blank slate.

I agree 100% on the ownership bit.

At least Kelly's Heroes is on tv and ex is lying down

My stomach is still upset and I have a fever

"Always with the negative waves,moriaty, always with the negative waves"

Got an appointment alert from Ts automated system. Guess he either hasn't read the text. Or has and can't be bothered to fix it het

JDNA just want to say that I'm sorry you're going through such a difficult time.
Is the appointment soon?
I really wish for you that it would be soon, and that it would help you to start feeling better about things.

We're supposed to meet tomorrow at noon but I'm not going. I texted him and cancelled thru July

Is his 2 wk vacation during July or in Aug?

He's leaving for a week at the end of July

Oh no. I'm sorry.
It's totally up to you of course. But my feeling is that it would be good to go. I mean you've been feeling really bad already haven't you? So it seems to me it's unlikely you would end up feeling worse than you do already, and on the other hand you may feel better afterwards. I know this T messed up about contact. But he has helped you a lot in other ways hasn't he?
I'm sorry for being bossy and you could ignore me if it's not helpful! I'm just wishing you could feel better

Thank you for the kind wishes. Yes I've been feeling pretty bad but am masking it thru a heroin relapse. I feel it's best that I don't go there when I'm in the midst of a serious relapse. It's not good for him to see me like this and not good for me to go there and be like this there.. I need a break from him

BTW - with this round (yep round #3 for me, I was 47 when I started, I'll be turning 49 just around the corner... so ... It happens when it happens and takes as long as it takes. I know with my issues, I don't think I would have been able to address them when I was in my 20's or early 30's. Maybe by late 30's... obviously late 40's, I'm ..ummm "good to go" HAHAHA... ok I'm being pushed/dragged through it ... LOL that is more like it. I'm able to drag and push myself to face this stuff. It's not easy. I have to admit, I'm a bit in awe of any of you doing this type of work in your 20's and 30's; to be so honest with yourself to do this work.

If I end up dead or homeless or whatever I don't even really care. I've decided to take a break from T and therapy and its just what I think is best for now

I am sort odf caught up on the couch. I read the rest of the previous couch and 7 pages of this couch. But, I have to take my morning meds and leave for C's (I am watching him today while his mom gets her hair done) in a little bit, so no more time to catch up now. I just wanted to check in.

I work the "midnight" shift at another CVS tonight, so I probably need to take a nap this afternoon after C. Then, my CVS vacation starts. I am going to die of boredom. Heh.

Did you quit your job?

That is exactly what I want. To know what happened and for her to own her part in it. I know it wasn't all me. And then I'm taking a break to decide if I want to continue or not. Part of me wanted to leave it alone and just not go back. But I couldn't do that because not knowing wth happened would eat at me forever. It was like "we" just totally imploded and exploded at the same time and with no warning just boom.

I'm sorry you're having a rough time w all of this. Maybe it means he wants to talk about your text?? But didn't know how to respond? (jDNA)

I didn't really start til I was 49, and at 55 now am wanting to be done but honestly I don't think I am. I probably need a new t though, after this latest blow up. Goddess it hurts to say that.