The Couch 148: Boby

The worst chore is a tie:

1. taking out the recycling, because almost everything is recyclable here and I wait too long, and suddenly there are eight gallons of recyclable stuff stuffed in my sink cabinet

2. washing windows and windowsills. A meditation in the futility of human interference with the forces of nature. Also ick, the mix of tree pollen and traffic soot

Lol. Im more chores without chores. I sit on my butt all day and just think about them. Its like chore deception.

Eta - hey if you ever want to take this musical comedy show on the road, i took a year of accordion...

I cut way back on emailing recently and when I did send one the other day, my therapist wrote the next day that she was too busy to reply but thanked me for it. She didn't say she would get to it later, so I dwelled on the hollow emptiness of my life that swelled after the reply. I got over it after a couple days, and then woke up to a very nice, thoughtful reply from her this morning, which makes me think that when she said before that she was too busy to reply it was not code for go eff yourself, and that maybe what she meant was that she was too busy to reply.

Here's my mashies! eta: meat loaf still has 30 minutes in the oven

In the warm months, I like to shower before bed instead of in the morning. I hate going to sleep all sweaty sticky from the day.

Me too. I feel like a millionaire all clean in clean sheets. Not how i was raised!

I got a new shampoo yesterday. It smells sooooo good. Suave Moroccan Infusion. Kinda earthy/spicy scent. I still smell it after my hair is dry. I likee!

Perfect, I took tapdancing when I was five!

I'll bring my drum and join your tour!

My favorite is sleeping on just washed sheets (after a shower, of course). I use aromatherapy detergent and the scent is amazing that first night after a washing.

i love cleaning too

my faves are laundry and washing dishes

my least fave is wiping down boby's poopy box

oh one time i had to clean his little butt off. i think i talked about that on here before. he had diarrhea and it got all over his fluffy butt and he wouldnt clean it so he came to me. he let me shampoo his butt and clean it out. i never felt more like a momma

Oh me too!!

I'm contemplating not telling current T about my visits to other Ts (she's been on vacation and today's my first session after she got back) or that I have one scheduled tomorrow.

Given how it went with former T (a whole lot of 'What ar you looking for?' followed by my thinking things are really great and why do I want to leave followed by my usual rage....lather, rinse, repeat) and that I really can't afford to lose my focus at work (my tiffs with current T for some odd reason seem to make me lose sleep, screw up my appetite and general productivity), I am thinking I'll just shut up about it and make up my mind on the new T before saying anything to current T.

On the other hand, I don't know how to get through today's session without blurting it out.

So, I'm considering cancelling -- first time I'll be cancelling within her 24-hour window. I don't mind paying the session fee (her policy) but I don't want to deal with her responses and then I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want to go back to the next session because everything will be more blerghh than usual...

And, then at some point, my brain will convince me that I made a mountain out of a molehill and can I just quit the drama and go back and you know, talk about my mother.

Someone whack me on the noodle and ask me to grow up and make a decision either way?

My meat loaf...

No noodle whacking from my quarter. I can't make up my mind about t either.

If I can not tell CW and Info about each other for at least 3 weeks now, you can not reveal your one-nighters. I never even told CW about Morticia.

I mean, why tell her unless you've decided to leave? Otherwise she will a) ask questions like ex t, and b) assume all is just ducky between you two because you came back.

Oh, and go to the session. No use paying those people money they didn't "earn."

(((Awk))) this is the work!!! This is why its GOOD that, as SD says, no they are not really human, so they are not going to be DEVASTATED that you spoke to someone else. Otoh, are they gonna be thrilled? No, not really - they really ARE human, after all. Its a paradox.

But - the more important thing is YOU. YOU need to not hide this "awful" - awkward? - truth about yourself from the other person - past, present, and future, unless of course you decide theres a really good reason to make an exception THIS time? But it shouldnt have to be our modus operandi, to stifle ourselves, just because thats how we were raised up. We shoulda been raised better. Heres our chance. Youre in t to take it.

That was just the best-est response......

Thank you....and, will do!

Laundry is one of the few chores I don't mind. And I prefer washing my own clothes so H doesn't mess them up (he's learned though).

These answers are like a saturday night live quiz show skit - all over the place! Definitely yes! Definitely no!! I dont know, dont ask me!!!

We should offer to be on Trumps advisory council, we could really help!

Una -- truth.

I hear what you're saying and for what it's worth, it's not actually my general MO -- I'm ridiculously transparent about stuff like this, almost to a fault. Former T in fact -- despite all her anger -- told me that no one could ever accuse me of not having tried to work it out with her or that I hadn't been honest with her.

It's more that right now, I can't deal with the emotional fallout -- and, I'm very sure there'll be a really non-trivial one -- of current T's response to my telling her about it while also sorting out how I 'fit' with the other T (I'm a bit psyched about this new T and so, I kinda want to keep a 'clear' mind). Current T is blithely clueless -- despite my telling her repeatedly -- on how I end up feeling felled after each one of our quarrels.

I'm thinking then that if I decide to switch, I'll of course terminate in person. And, if I don't decide to switch, then I'll come out with the whole sordid saga. But, either way, I'll tell her after I've made up my mind and am in a much better place about it -- btw, she's not entirely in the dark about how I've been feeling (every time I cancel, I've told her + I told her when I checked out another T a few weeks ago). Like ATAT said though, she just assumes that if I'm coming back, all is hunky-dory and she needn't change a thing (former T did the same but was kind enough to actually say that to my face).

I know, I know, being vulnerable -- especially when it hurts the most -- in T is the work but man, I really would like for once to not feel like I got run over by a truck (or more importantly, my boss would like to make sure I think that I don't walk around with my brain in a fog all week long).

Well, emotional fallout really sucks. As I currently am swimming in it. (((Awk)))

T wants me to come to the game night but im not sure if i will

In other news, I just found out that I have absolutely no stomach to ride an ATV (long story short -- I got lost on a trail --> ended up on a dairy farm --> got a ride from a farm girl on an ATV coz it's more than 95 degrees + dehydration [along the way, realized why I'll never end up being a country music aficionado -- I offered to help her out with the uhh...farming....in exchange for the ride and after 2 whole minutes of me assiduously attempting to hand out stakes to fence her pasture, she decided it was better to just stop and get me the heck outta there]).

Um...are these euphemisms?

Stakes to fence her pasture!