Couch 157: Fair Value

Mysterious booms around the world, an object from outside the solar system passing by the sun. It's coming!

*hugs* it's OK to cry. It's OK to be sensitive. I also was always shamed for being sensitive but T thinks it's a good trait.

<3 best of luck and skilled doctors!

Uh oh we broke out the gewrztraminer after wiping out the Chardonnay... And now my friend says let's play Clue!!! Omg drunken synchronicity, I tell you..... I'm not the shoe! I'm not the shoe!!

I get sad whenever I see posts on facebook about "NICU mamas". They like to call their babies "miracle babies". I'm an NICU baby, born at 27 weeks. I often wish I'd died and my dead siblings lived instead. My mother would love me more if I'd died lol.

Deleted... too identifiable

Hey, I was born at 24 weeks. I haven't met anyone who was such a preemie like i was! i also struggle with those feelings, though my home life wasn't nearly as terrible as yours is. But I often think "WHY ON EARTH did I survive such miniscule chances (less than 10%), with NO long-term side effects in order to accomplish nothing in the world and hate myself?!"

i get it.

Exactly! I got away with just bad eyesight, some childhood asthma, am in good health...way better outcomes than so many other preemies... my doctors who saw me for checkups up till age 16 would keep saying I'm a "miracle baby", go on about how I was under 1kg, so tiny bla bla and like you said "WHY ON EARTH did I survive such miniscule chances (less than 10%), with NO long-term side effects in order to accomplish nothing in the world and hate myself?!"

*hugs*

Why did my father enjoy hurting me physically and emotionally...why did my mother go into such terrifying violent rages...why have I not accomplished anything despite beating such odds...

Sorry you get it too *hugs*

YES. That is what I grew up as--"the miracle baby." lol

Yeah! *hugs* I'd say you're indeed a miracle and I hope the self hatred heals (me too, so much self hate, sigh)

QM and velcro—have you considered the “long-term side effects” might not be exclusively physical?

It’s well-attested that preemies, especially ones born as early as you, have higher rates of low self-esteem, anxiety and depression. And that’s even before factoring in family traumas.

Eta: nor does it seem to me that either of you have accomplished nothing. Quite the opposite.

Only my immediate family of 3 at Thanksgiving Dinner and it is so relaxing. No drama and I can be myself. So, I am thankful.

Resentment, pressure to conform, over indulgence to numb your feelings--the song of my people. Happy Thanksgiving. You're officially American!

I am lucky in that no one even bothers to invite me to Thanksgiving any more. The downside this year is that I just broke a tooth, so no dentist until who knows when.

Maybe beating those odds is your accomplishment? And having achieved that, the rest of your life is yours to spend as you please.

Damn, you're too kind. *hugs*

T has started to harp on how she thinks I should move out (she knows my unfolding plans to move out etc)... sometimes I wish she'd shut up and just support me, not add to the chorus of how I should move out sooner.

Rent prices are ridiculously high. There's great reasons why most people my age in my nation can't afford to move out (especially as I'm NOT a white collar professional with a spouse who is ALSO a white collar professional).

ETA: whoops, sent a text about the above to T lol. I guess I really didn't like how she told me "then move out!" last session. OMG easy for her to say, with her loving family and more than twice my monthly salary lol. T probably is going to feel I'm being prickly with her haha

I don’t think you’re being prickly... it’s her job to understand your view point. The high rents suck... Have you ever considered to share a flat with someone? It’s how young people cope with the super high rents here

I left home with 2 rather important letters to my parents in my hand... now I can’t remember if I threw them in or lost them. Ahhhh >.<

ETA: Ah well... they have an address and postal stamps on them... as long as I didn’t throw them into the trash, they’ll probably get to where they’re supposed to

Yup, I've considered sharing a flat as that's how young people cope with rent here too (the rare few that defy tradition and culture hehe).

I don't have someone I'd trust enough to live together. I'm afraid any friend who shares living space with me would realise how awful I am (I know that stems from my issues...) especially as most of my friends are independent types (even if they live with family) while I fail basic life skills. (I have issues lol)

While I tell myself I can learn and all that jazz, I do have huge irrational fears that any friend I share with will be disgusted and repulsed by me in close quarters and realise how fail I am.

And I'm terrified I won't get along with strangers who might be even more judgmental.

Yeah, I guess I should bring up these stuff to T lol, rather than just steadily telling her "I'm planning to..."

Oh no. *hugs*

I wish I had someone to share a flat (or even a room).
But I don't want to live with a stranger

If we lived geographically close by, I wouldn't mind sharing a flat with you. My fear is that you'll grow to hate me though!

It's just about 6000 km between us

I'm sure I would not hate you! It's you who would hate me

Haha *hugs* you've lived independently on your own, I haven't and I'm really scared to as I don't know how to do basic housekeeping stuff.

We can both learn to live with house mates!

Hi, Couch.

Session in 50 minutes. Can I ask for pocket riders?

Will catch up soon...

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