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#451
Apr 26, 2018, 10:18 PM
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Seeing you in just under 24 hours.
Currently debating telling you about my attachment issues. Still haven't decided. I'm either going to go back to lab tonight to print that attachment article tonight and highlight the relevant portions, or I'm going go stay home. Am I going to regret it if I go print it out now? How am I supposed to focus in lab meeting tomorrow when this will be all I can think about? F**k it, I'm going back to lab. Please don't let this have been a mistake. |
 atisketatasket, Elio, Lilana, LonesomeTonight, mostlylurking
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 Anonymous45127
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#452
Apr 26, 2018, 10:34 PM
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Please don't think I'm pathetic. Please don't think I'm disgusting, gross, and too needy. Please don't be horrified and disturbed. Please don't let me see the dawning realization and subsequent revulsion. Please don't hate me. Please don't hate me.
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| ChickenNoodleSoup, Elio, Glittering, Lilana, LonesomeTonight, mostlylurking, NP_Complete, WarmFuzzySocks
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| Anonymous45127
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#453
Apr 26, 2018, 10:54 PM
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Wow t. That was some session earlier. Damn.
Thank you. Times infinity. |
| unaluna
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| Anonymous45127, Elio
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#454
Apr 26, 2018, 11:13 PM
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Dear Dr. S,
It was good to see you today. Thank you for still being you. Maybe there won't be those video visits while I am on vacation after all, maybe we'll have to resort to just emails. Love you, me |
| atisketatasket, LabRat27, LonesomeTonight, NP_Complete, WarmFuzzySocks
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#455
Apr 26, 2018, 11:40 PM
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Dear T,
Think I'll have to add "Waltz, No. 2" from Elliott Smith to your hypothetical mix tape. Love, LT |
| Elio
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| lucozader
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#456
Apr 27, 2018, 12:28 AM
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1.I wanted you to look after me better, because I love you and you know that. I just want to disappear and never be seen again.
2.I'm hurt that you would think that I was a risk to you. 3.You did leave me yesterday when I still had extra time. |
| Elio, LabRat27, unaluna, WarmFuzzySocks
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#457
Apr 27, 2018, 12:29 AM
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Dear T,
Thanks for seeing me today. When I found out you were seeing me in between working at that other place and teaching your class I felt a bit guilty knowing how much driving around town you would have to do. However, I try to tell myself that you offered the time. Thanks for not pushing meds today. Also, I always find it reassuring when you say I know where to find you if I need you in between sessions. Generally when times are rough, and I end up having extra sessions or emailing I am always afraid I am going to show up to an appointment and you are going to take it all away. So, reassurance is nice. I wish I would have asked if you were going to be where I am going to be this weekend. I guess I will find out Saturday. Although as you have mentioned I am good at separating you from your t role when I see you at these functions I do feel it is a little more idk weird when I see you, and you and I both know that right now I am hanging on by a thread.. but you will see me interact with my friends and my kid and it probably won’t look that way. Thanks, T.
__________________
"You decide every moment of every day who you are and what you believe in. You get a second chance, every second." "You fail to recognize that it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be!" - J.K. Rowling. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. |
| ChickenNoodleSoup, Elio, LabRat27, LonesomeTonight, unaluna, WarmFuzzySocks
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#458
Apr 27, 2018, 01:00 AM
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I'm scared.
__________________
stay afraid, but do it anyway. |
| ChickenNoodleSoup, Elio, Glittering, LabRat27, Lilana, LonesomeTonight, WarmFuzzySocks
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#459
Apr 27, 2018, 02:37 AM
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I can't focus on school work at all. My mind feels lost. Do I email you and tell you that I'm sorry for being so dumb,stupid and a big baby.
Possible trigger:
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| ChickenNoodleSoup, ElectricManatee, Elio, Glittering, LabRat27, Lilana, LonesomeTonight, NP_Complete, unaluna, WarmFuzzySocks
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| Anonymous45127
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#460
Apr 27, 2018, 04:01 AM
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Quote:
 here if you want to talk. It sucks if you're not able to focus on your studies even though there are exams coming up. ****** Hi T, I'm not ok. That doctor threw me for a loop and you're leaving me alone with this... Had you mentioned the holiday on your own & offered another appointment time, I'd have taken it. But you didn't. And now I won't see you for a full week because I'm too stupid to say what I want. I shouldn't be such a child and just cope with it, right? |
| ChickenNoodleSoup, Elio, Glittering, LabRat27, LonesomeTonight, lucozader
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#461
Apr 27, 2018, 04:12 AM
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Please, please, please reply to my email. Please.
Possible trigger:
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| AllHeart, Argonautomobile, ChickenNoodleSoup, ElectricManatee, Elio, Glittering, LabRat27, Lemoncake, Lilana, LonesomeTonight, LostOnTheTrail, mostlylurking, NP_Complete, toomanycats, unaluna, WarmFuzzySocks
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#463
Apr 27, 2018, 08:22 AM
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I am extremely jealous of you. In fact all week I have been raging jealous while you’ve been gone.
From your million dollar lake front home, to your many, many trips this year. I can’t seem to get past it. I am so angry. I don’t see how I can possibly talk to you about any of this. I just feel like you look down on me and in fact probably can’t stand me. I’m terrified and I’ve convinced myself that you’ll come back from you latest vacation and tell me you’ve changed your mind and will be retiring now.
__________________
wheeler |
| awkwardlyyours, Elio, LabRat27, LonesomeTonight, lucozader, unaluna
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#464
Apr 27, 2018, 10:33 AM
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I've numbed my brain crying, SH'ing and watching two harry potter movies in a row.
Time to grow up I guess. |
| Elio, Geminezmarie, LabRat27, Lilana, LonesomeTonight, lucozader, mostlylurking, NP_Complete
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#466
Apr 27, 2018, 11:15 AM
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T thank you so much for what we talked about yesterday. For being so fearless and just saying it straight up what my dream-question sounded like. For being so accepting of feelings that I hadn't yet let myself be conscious of having. Because you accepted them, and gave me the 'scientific' or whatever word you used thoughts, and reassured me that they would never be acted upon beyond the hugs at the door, I was able to accept them too. I liked that you said we are right on track. Whatever that meant, I am glad to know it. Jeez Louise it took long enough though. I told you I'm a lil slow on the uptake sometimes. I guess that's putting it mildly.
See you in 2 weeks.... |
| lucozader
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#467
Apr 27, 2018, 11:31 AM
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((Luc)) please stop reading. Whether it's now or in the future, you will be in safe, experienced hands.
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| AllHeart, Argonautomobile, atisketatasket, lucozader
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#468
Apr 27, 2018, 12:07 PM
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Quote:
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| LonesomeTonight, lucozader, unaluna
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#469
Apr 27, 2018, 12:26 PM
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T,T,T,T-T,T,T
I see you Do you see me? |
| atisketatasket, awkwardlyyours, Echos Myron redux, LonesomeTonight, lucozader
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#470
Apr 27, 2018, 01:08 PM
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Could we please talk even if it was just for 3 minutes?
I've been refreshing my inbox since 8.44am wishing you'd reply back already.But you haven't and it's 7.02pm now.Should I be the crazy client who sends you three emails in a row?
Possible trigger:
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| atisketatasket, awkwardlyyours, LonesomeTonight, lucozader, NP_Complete
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#471
Apr 27, 2018, 01:39 PM
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Quote:
T replied to my email. He put a hyphen in 'thank you' and also, more weirdly, 'someone'. "thank-you for letting me know about your health news. I'm pleased to hear that the cardiologist is lovely and taking you seriously - as you say finally some-one is." Alright. Thanks. I guess. I dunno, what did I want him to f***ing say? At least rogue hyphens are somehow more charming than rogue apostrophes. |
| Argonautomobile, LabRat27, LonesomeTonight, mostlylurking, unaluna, WarmFuzzySocks
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#472
Apr 27, 2018, 01:46 PM
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A rogue apostrophe seems other-directed ("i think this is supposed to have one") whereas a rogue hyphen seems more inner-directed ("i think this needs one"). I get caught more on the rogue hyphen.
Gorgeous poem btw. Eta - granite here had some similar work done last year or so. |
| lucozader
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#473
Apr 27, 2018, 02:32 PM
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I just want to talk to you. I just want to tell you. But I know it's not a good reason to email you. Sigh.
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| atisketatasket, awkwardlyyours, LabRat27, LonesomeTonight, lucozader, WarmFuzzySocks
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#475
Apr 27, 2018, 02:55 PM
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5 more hours. I've gotten nothing productive done so far today. I can't stop thinking about what will happen. I'm meeting up with a friend for coffee in a few hours, so at least that will take my mind off of it for a while.
I'm going to go streak out some yeast colonies and inoculate some cultures and see if that will at least take my mind off of things until it's time for a smoke and then meeting up with my friend. |
| atisketatasket, awkwardlyyours, LonesomeTonight, lucozader, WarmFuzzySocks
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| Closed Thread |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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