Couch 172: Couch me if you can

Art, great pics! Thanks for sharing. Glad you had a good time and what sounds like a very productive discussion.


Though, as you implied in your post, there were definitely better ways for him to get you to make a decision about therapy besides threatening to leave...

Thanks LT!

Or as we say in English, mashed potatoes.

No, no, mashed potatoes are a whole other (awesome) category from gnocchi.

I believe in this here land, it would be sacrilege to conflate the two.

I know I shouldn't put all the blame on myself for the problems between h and me. But I can't help but think a lot of it is caused by the codependency thing. The more I read in this book, and other people's stories on the website for the local chapter of CoDA (or whatever they call themselves) the more I feel like it is. Saying that isn't saying it's my fault though honestly. I didn't choose to be codependent. I think it happened growing up in a dysfunctional family with a cold, distant mother and the rest of it and then living with an alcoholic for 5 years certainly didn't help matters in that regard either. It's just what it is. And now that I know, I can work to heal from it.

gnocci starts with smashed potatoes, but then you add egg and flour and knead it into a dough that you form into little dumpling thingies and boil. i haven't made them in a long time but now i want to again.

Yes he would wouldn't he!

And yeah, we do! More in the higher elevations though, we were up around 4000 feet I think. It's so beautiful.

I was just thinking about something. I wonder if my getting healthier physically, losing all the weight I've lost so far the past 6 months has kinda brought these codependency issues to the forefront, because I'm not doing the overeating behavior anymore... hmm... I may not have explained my thoughts very well... but i wonder....

Nice pictures Art.

Stop spamming the couch, Artie.

You're not spamming, Art. I am glad I saw your pictures - looks like heaven out there.

Artie, you're not spamming the couch

I can relate. I struggle to be aware of myself physically, so as I work to pay attention to what's happening to my body, I become aware of myself in other ways too. So maybe some of that is happening with you, in that as you've listened and paid attention to your body, maybe you are also growing in awareness of your internal self, and that's going to stir things up with those around you too.

You had a pretty big event on your trip, when you talked to your mom. I don't know how much that played into things coming apart at home, but my therapist has pointed out to me that whenever I've made huge leaps in one area, I have a come apart shortly after. It's not a blaming thing or a bad thing, just part of the spiraling nature of therapy or personal growth.

Thanks y'all. I just feel like I am I guess. I'm nervous cuz the CoDA meeting is in 3 hours... I am not going to talk myself out of going because of being nervous. H left on a job shortly after we got home from our hike, so it would be easy not to go. Except I told him I would, and I promised t I would check it out too...


I will be driving there telling myself that it's an assignment for school so I don't turn around and come home!

We love our Artie

Holy cow I didn't even make the connection! Thank you SO much for that. T and I never even got around to discussing my talk with my mom yet. I would imagine that could have a lot to do with this.

Awwww!! My heart is smiling. Thank you.

I feel so ashamed for all the drama that has played out over the weekend with my therapist. Yesterday's thing and today's phone call. He called while I was already crying and feeling about as low as I can get. He mentioned maybe going to a hospital, which isn't going to happen. I feel like I'm failing and not trying hard enough to get past this. I hope he doesn't thing less of me after this weekend.

No one can cure a disease by willpower alone.

My job is all standing. Your post makes a lot of sense to me. I’m actually wondering if I’m getting my period. I know I got leg cramps one time right before my period. I’m not scheduled to get my period, but I have PMDD and I’m currently feeling the way I only feel when I’m about to get my period. So it may very well be because I’m getting my my period.

The pain is on the upper back of my right leg.

My side would ache so much i was sure i had appendicitis, but it was only ever cramps from my period or ovulation. It was almost always on my right side. People think you switch from left to right ovulating every other month, but that is not true. I ovulated on my left side maybe twice a year.

There are even apps that will keep track of your period and ovulation for you now!

Whatever works for your cramps (motrin, aleve, whatever) should work for ovulation pain also if you have it. Also heating pad.

argh now i'm really getting nervous. have to leave for the meeting in 30 minutes. pretending it's for school has kept me from changing my mind up to now. i can do this right? i get so nervous about meeting new people.

Hugs, NP. You're not failing, you're doing the best that you can at a very difficult time.

You dont have to say nothing if you dont want to. You can just say "pass".

Eta - omg what has happened to my grammar???