Couch 172: Couch me if you can

Info is apparently incapable of understanding that when I write “please don’t respond to this particular statement” in an email, it doesn’t mean “don’t respond to the whole email.”

Can I kick your therapist? He could have handled it much better.

I've the same feelings of sometimes wishing T is my friend. I know why that's impossible etc but it still is painful. My T and ex T have talked about how we can't be friends, but also how I do have qualities that'll enable me to form healthy friendships, how the longing points to what I want in life, how we can work in therapy to build my capacity for recognizing healthy and safe people and other stuff... (I have problems with interpersonal relationships, and am socially isolated)

They've both validated the pain that we can't be friends. Ex T ever said we perhaps could have been friends in a different setting but that's not to be of course.

So I read this, and it seemed like he might be trying to normalize your feelings, and also defend himself a bit that he is doing the best he can? I wouldn't like getting this to read either, but I can easily imagine my T giving it to someone. If it helps, my T told me last session he was too busy to look at what I wanted to talk about in the session, so I should just tell him, and he would stick the email in his trash. He later said he was just teasing me bc it is so hard for me to get started , but it didn't feel that way too me. It hurt my feelings. There is a huge canyon between the T perspective and ours it seems like once in a while, between What they mean and what we take away? That article seemed to send the message he realizes it is difficult and messy for you, that it is normal and other therapy client/provider duos face the same challenge, that it isn't easy for him or you(?). That is my takeaway.

Info is apparently incapable of understanding that when I write “please don’t respond to this particular statement” in an email, it doesn’t mean “don’t respond to the whole email.”

(((((Echos))))) just because you deserve a hug

Heck a ton of hugs

I feel much better today couch. Thanks for hugs when I offloaded last night. A very angry and hurt part of myself was in charge. I sent T an angry email and he didn't respond. I emailed him again today saying I was feeling better today and reflecting on what happened last night (there are much more angry emails to him in my drafts folder which I will share with him on Wed). I told him it is my birthday and he said "Happy birthday!". It's the first time he ever said that to me in the years we have worked together and it matters to me.

H a P p Y B i R t h D a Y Echos!

I hope you have a wonderful day.

Hugs, Lemon, that sounds like a really difficult session...

And I'd go ahead and see another T during his break--maybe you could find one who you'd even want to stay with longer term? I'm puzzled by the "undermining our work together" thing. I mean, when my T was away a week earlier this year, he offered to give me the name of a backup T if I wanted. I declined, but if he was going to be away for a month, pretty sure I'd have taken her name. Or maybe found one on my own.

Thanks, whisper.

I feel all over the place today, Couch. I suppose I didn't think about the fact that writing it all out could go one of two ways. It could make me feel better, or it could put it down in black and white and make me realise the reality of it.


I'm wary of using the word crisis, but this has felt pretty damn close for me...even though my physical safety was never in question, my emotional wellbeing definitely has been/is.

I hate when I start having some sort of breakthrough and start crying right at the end of session. Because then there's no time to address it. (He seemed very caring about it though.) Continued the breakthrough in the car and ended up e-mailing T about it (also from the car). It's possible he'll read it and go, "Duh, obviously," but hopefully he'll see it as the breakthrough I did.

Perhaps rather than the "Duh" he'll think instead how proud he is of how far you've come. I've only been following your therapy posts for around a year but I can see the growth in your posts.

Happy birthday, echos!!