Couch 173: The Odiferous One

I have no idea what H's problem it with me right now, but clearly it's something...

CODA meeting in an hour or so. I'm feeling like a bratty child right now and don't want to go but I'm going to adult and go anyway. Maybe it will help me stop feeling so stupid about going back to therapy. I was feeling better about it yesterday, but today I keep thinking about t's frustration with me and that makes me feel stupid that I went back. I don't feel connected to her at all anymore. It's like I'm back but our former connection is gone because I killed it. And I miss it. I miss it a lot more than I did before I went back. Why'm I so dumb??? smh

Art—did she ever say she was frustrated with you or are you getting that from her wasted time comment? Because that could mean a lot of other things.

No she didn't say it, I felt it. And yes from her wasted time comment. What else could it mean? I see only one interpretation.

But, one could believe someone has wasted time without being frustrated by that person? i.e., one could merely make an observation without necessarily having any strong vested emotion in that person's actions?

For instance, lots of people tell me that I'm wasting my time career-wise and not doing something else.

No one's really frustrated with me though -- they may at times be frustrated about my complaining about my life without doing anything to fix it but that's a different thing.

As a statement of fact, it is accurate -- I am wasting my time when seen in a certain light, yes. However, I have my reasons and so....whatever.

I do not believe one can waste the time of a therapist - they are paid for their time.
I can think of several interpretations among which are:
- she might think you wasted some of your money/time, but if you don't feel it is wasted -BFD.
-she might have been berating herself a bit for not seeing/knowing how to get you more on track.
- it might have just been a musing
And so on
Have you read Other Women by Lisa Alther? The book is about a lesbian and her therapist and intertwines their two stories. You might like it. At one point in the book the protagonist tells the therapist a joke and the thought of the therapist is that it is probably the most expensive joke the client has ever told.

No, I haven't. Thanks, I was thinking about going to the library this week on the way home from work one day so I will look for it.

Perhaps she was berating herself a bit that may be true because she also said that she maybe was colluding with me as far as not 'making' me come weekly (when we switched to every other week).

thanks. maybe it was just an observation, and maybe I was just projecting my own frustration with myself on her.

It is also on amazon kindle
Other Women Kindle Edition
by Lisa Alther (Author)
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It is not great literature by any stretch -but it is a sort of fun popcorn novel and I found the same tale from two sides fun (it is one of my favorite techniques as well as second person and epistolary)

ok time to go to my meeting. later couchies.

You know that list of ten common cognitive distortions in the sticky at the top of the forum home page?

Check out No. 7, Emotional Reasoning:

I am not a huge fan of your therapist (or Lulabelle, as I call her in my head), but I do think she would say directly she was frustrated with you.

Thanks for that. (and Lulabelle shall now be her nickname on here as it is strangely fitting.) You're right, I think she would too. If I would ever take the time to stop and think for a minute before being reactive I might realize that.

Waitwaitwait I am frustrated with her and it's a lot less scary for me to imagine she's frustrated with me....

I think you may also be frustrated with yourself.

Very much so.

Lulabelle cast a spell.


(Totally rhymes assuming one pronounces Lula like the erstwhile Brazilian president’s name is pronounced (or even otherwise but this way has a nicer ring to it) — just sayin’.)

My ex's mental health nurse is caught up in my ex's helplessness trap. Not only did the nurse move house for my ex, but does home visits even though my ex is capable of getting to appts, the nurse made him a fishing rod holder and other things. I feel he is not being professional but my ex is very manipulative.

I think it would be worthwhile to ask her exactly what she meant by that.

WIP Painting so far

click on it and it be right way up. It still displays upside down. I am so tech challenged today.

When I asked my therapist what would happen if I try things out her way for months on end and it leads nowhere, she shrugged and said that it would have been a waste of time. So there is at least one therapist who doesn't mind the concept, Art. Maybe yours is just getting her ego into things, thinking she should have strongarmed you into having insights. It's her stuff, not yours. Even then, it's probably not as big in her mind as it is in yours, sort of the opposite of a sideview mirror. Our brains should come with a sticker that says, Objects in your mind are not nearly as big as they appear.

Good meeting. I think I'm going to stick with this for a bit.

is this space mitosis? or a binary system? or abstract?

I have just found out that for the past however many years my pharmacy has been ripping me off. As a disability pensioner i am entitled to be waived the surcharge on government rebate. Thats $1 a script. I feel like going back and demanding they give me all that money back.

I agree and I'm going to on Thursday.

Why don’t you?