Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVI

...and thanks for showing me that you remember who I am...!

Thank god it's tomorrow. I'm starting to get really antsy.

I love making you laugh, its a cute laugh. That is all

I'm tired,of dealing with my addicted mentally ill adult child. Tired of talking about. Tired of the sighs you give me when I answer..just sooo tired. Can we skip this week.

I found today's session difficult. It was difficult telling you what I told you. You did okay but you spent a bit too much time telling me your reaction. I know I was anxious about your reaction but you reassuring me wasn't really helpful. As you said later in the session, you can't convince me, you can't reach that part and make me believe.

I like the way you say the word 'love'.

I'm so angry at you. I don't feel like you gave me your best on tuesday. Instead of skipping session on tuesday I emailed asking for a second session this week.

help, i'm having an existential crisis because of a sea creature again

I’ve been waiting on the edge of my seat for ten days for my appt tomorrow. Now I don’t want to go. Ugh. I drive myself crazy.

Hope we have session tomorrow despite the weather. Might need to talk about some stuff with D's report card that we just got.
Love,
LT
PS--I managed a 2-mile walk in the cold today!

Dear T,

I think I need to figure out how to protect myself from the negative messages being sent from work. The real negative messages and the ones that I perceive that way. I don't know how to do that in a healthy way. I generally can handle my intense emotions by numbing them I guess, I don't do it consciously. But with all the hullabaloo lately, it has been way too much for me.

I want to bury my face in your sweatshirt. Tell you I love you a thousand more times.

I want to ask to see you again this week. I won't though. You didn't have time last week, I doubt this week would be different.

Even if you did have time, it would be wasting your time. Sitting with me. I don't have stuff to say, I just don't want to be alone.

I can't decide whether to send you this email or print it out for you tomorrow. On the one hand, I want you to read this stuff NOW. On the other hand, if you read it now, you'll want to talk about it tomorrow, and I don't want to talk about it. What to do what to do.

Sometimes the longing makes me feel desperate. What wouldn't I give to see you again!

No I don't understand.

Folie hysterique.

I'm back to being me.

See you on tuesday.

R... it's been a month since I last saw you. I miss you and I love you. Do you still exist?

hey hope this goes okay today.....

I am so very sorry your bird just died. I know how much you loved him.

Thank you for inviting me to confront the tough stuff, and at the same time reminding me you are there. Means a lot.

Dear Former T. Do you even remember me?

Ho hum, back to hating you.

(((Lemoncake))) your mission impossible new years resolution, should you wish to accept it, is to go to your appointments!

Dear T,
Today it felt like you were talking to me not just as my therapist but also as a fellow parent of a child on the autism spectrum. It made me feel validated and understood. And worth braving the awful weather for. Thank you.

Love,
LT