Couch 213: The Tulip couch

I look through Psychology Today every once in a while to get a sense of what Ts are in my area that accept my insurance. I like the 2 or maybe now 3 Ts I have, but don't like how it's all separated. T1 wants me to see his partner that works in his same office, so maybe they count as 1. I already asked him if he could see me twice a week and he said he doesn't have the availability...hence seeing his partner as well. Yet every week, he says "Okay, I'll keep you on for Friday for now" which feels like he thinks I'm too much. The other T is okay, yet even through Zoom he's notoriously late. 30 minutes late yesterday.
Well I came across a T today that specifically says he offers more than once a week after he discusses it with the client and they agree. His profile reminded me of exT..same type of therapy he does and more than once a week. I think that would be better than seeing multiple Ts and having everything separated.

A piece of baby aspirin that i was letting dissolve in my mouth went down the wrong pipe, and for a minute there i thought i was a goner, except i was pretty sure i could cough the little sucker back up and out, which i eventually did. i wonder how many single people die like that. The covid site for our state says old people (over 62?!) can sign up for daily wellness check calls. I should probably do that.

I vote YES. We need you around to keep SD in line.

Heartbroken today to wake up in a world without John Prine.
Today sucks more than enough in ordinary time...

thanks it is a bit scary it is a guy but hey i bet he has great boundaries . something my xT seemed to loose in the end . it was heart breaking .the tears at every session (hers) i didnt know what to do to make her feel better exsept to say ill keep seeing her .it was so strange .i finely had to block her number

cue "Sexual Healing" by Marvin Gaye

That's too funny, the being too old to know what that is.

I wish you all the best!! I am thinking about trying a male t myself next, I have a couple in mind to interview as soon as I'm ready to get back into therapy.... kinda not ready yet...

Remember I was hopped up on two year old kombucha(or possibly more - I really can't remember how long ago I made it)

I respond with such shock and delight when Liz uses that word that it minorly derails the session every time. I swear I am actually a mature adult sometimes.

Is it a curse in that context, though? Serious question, not nitpicking. It seems like that’s the original verb form to me.

But, geez, why can’t he say “go SIM card shopping” like normal people do?

So... when your defenses are down, you find it easy to admit we are perfect for each other. Yet i didnt receive my package of smoked Easter meat delivered to my door. You trifle with me, sir.

She’s probably planning to surprise you with the box of smoked meat in person on Easter morning, while dressed as an Easter egg.

That wont look suspicious at all!

That's a good point. I guess I so rarely hear it in its original context that it threw me. Hm, now I'm wondering about things being curse words if used in original context. Like if you're using s**t to talk about poop?

And lol at SIM card shopping...

so i looked up this T i am meeting friday and he is a csw,licsw,msw.lots of letters and it says he has had like over 40 years experience .so he is older . i hope i dont have the same issues with him as i did with xt. i am looking for someone who does a lot of cbt to help me change a lot of my thought processes .it seems that is what i need most at this time of my life . i have gone most of my life thinking the worst of myself and human nature . i dont know how to change that .my thoughts just automatically go to negative in seconds.i think the worst of almost everything . this needs to change because it makes me so miserable . it is hard to really believe the world hates you and you have nothing good to offer . even when evidence shows different. this temp theripist was really good at challenging these thoughts and that isnt easy

Omg. A cousin of mine is on facebook trolling for people to contact him to take a "have you been exposed to the covid virus" test. I hope his account has been hacked. Otherwise, i am beyond ticked. He needs 30 people. A covid pyramid scheme? What is wrong with him. Am i wrong to be suspicious? Hes saying hes not charging for the tests, but hes also not reporting to the CDC. So what carp is this? Should i move this to a covid thread?

You don't eat real food - everything you report eating is made up lite, sugar free, meat free, taste free stuff

oh good lord

Test as in a few questions or test as in taking a sample of body fluid?

Currently, there's quite a few websites going around in my country that ask you about symptoms to try to figure out how many people might be infected without going to the doctor and getting tested. That seems fine and reasonable to me. Taking swabs of somebody's nose if you're not a doctor, not so much.

I was a bad social distancer today and had a friend over. We went to the Mexican place across the street and then ordered dessert off of DoorDash. She (and her boyfriend) gave us the ultimate housewarming presents: alcohol and board games. Overall a good day. Much better than yesterday. It made me feel somewhat normal.

It doesnt seem like a link to a website. He keeps dodging the question of how much it costs. He says hes not charging anything, but he needs 30 people to sign up. Thats what makes me think pyramid scheme.

well we had a few days respite from the overtime at work, so I got caught back up on my homework and did some crocheting to relax, but we started 10 hour days again today. no word yet on whether that will include a 6th day as well, hopefully it will just be 5 days a week while it lasts. we're absolutely swamped with work again... and we're starting to get hugely more messages in on the weekends so now they have asked if some of us would start working a weekend day. I agreed to work Sunday-Thursday, I figured eh, it's not like I have kids at home anymore doesn't matter when my off days are as long as I get two of them in a row (outside of the craziness right now, of course, weekend OT may come back) and leave the weekends off to those with young kids. Besides, working on a Sunday is quiet as far as getting tons of emails from management and other work-related distractions so it won't be so bad. And having Fridays off will mean I can stay up as late as I want to get my homework done that's due Thursday nights at 11:59pm... sorry i'm just rambling now.... I think I'll go for a walk and check the mail....

Apparently global pandemics turn me into a miserable, envious, pathetic excuse of a human being. I wish I could handle this with the grace that others seem to have right now. I'm feeling sui and like a huge millstone around my therapist's neck right now. People are dying and I should just shut up and do my isolation like everyone else is, but it's killing me. I didn't realize how important just going to work 5 days a week and, even though I'm pretty quiet, just listening to others around me talk and laugh was.

People might look graceful but you don’t know what’s going on inside.

The past couple days I have had to draw up a schedule for myself because otherwise I would start getting way too antsy and climbing the walls.

Ive often felt like a weirdo when people around the apartment bldg would say to me in the past couple of years (i guess since i stopped going out to t 4 times a week?) "I havent seen you in such a long time." Im like yeah i dont get out much. I dont socialize, so when did they ever see me?? But now im like the leader of the pack. This is how we do it! Except its like expert makeup - if you do it right, nobody notices!