Couch 213: The Tulip couch

Pastor T told me to call him if I got worse. I got worse, but I haven't called him. Yesterday I was about an 8 on a scale of 0 to 10 with 10 being the worst. Today I'm about a 7.5 on the scale. I feel like I am white knuckling it. I don't really want to call him though because he already brought up the hospital on Monday and I don't really want to go to the hospital. So I guess I just have to suck it up and deal with it by myself. That worries me though. Sigh.

so next week i have to go get my 1 year follow up CT scan from my LAMN/appendix surgery last spring. It's weirding me out more than a little that this is considered essential; I was very surprised when they called me yesterday to schedule it. My other medical stuff I'd had scheduled for this week (mammogram and bone density test) got canceled. Part of me wants to stick my head in the sand about it for awhile and tell them sorry i can't take off work right now to come in. But another part of me that needs to know if there's a new problem brewing overrode that and I scheduled the appointment...

Strength to you, Artie. It's better to know.

It was good to see, that when I went to pick up the bottles of barium I have to drink pre-procedure, they weren't letting anyone in the building who didn't have an appointment and wasn't the patient. I had to give them my ID and wait outside, and they had someone bring the bottles out to me. They're doing everything they can to keep everyone safe.

So I emailed T asking her how we handled her emergency back then. I have officially determined that I don't like T very much anymore. I definitely don't want to go back to her unless L does leave. I don't know. But I appreciate L so much more for working through this with me instead of making me push down my feelings. I will do what is necessary to help L,and I know she will do what she needs to do to male sure she's okay. And I'm going to try my hardest not to take it personally.

Btw, something cute... So I've shown L my threads on here. She knows my username and she knows her abbreviation is L. She now uses L as a signature and she sometimes calls herself L...lol. My dad nicknamed her Mary, and she sometimes refers to herself as Mary as well! And she's starting to address me in emails by my initial! I think it's cute that she's learning forum talk

The company that did our furnace install called today to cheerfully let me know they'd come by this afternoon for some routine maintenance. Because they were in our neighborhood and someone else had cancelled so they'd be there in about 15-20 minutes.

Um.

I said (politely) that right now we're not letting anyone into our house who doesn't live here unless it's a maintenance emergency and the young woman sounded insulted. "Well, that's your choice. We're right there in the neighborhood." We had no forewarning that we'd even need routine maintenance a month after installation (it's not on my maintenance schedule), it's not my fault that they had a cancellation, and we're in the middle of a worldwide pandemic. For Pete's sake. I just said no thanks and that I'd call when things got back to normal and wished her well, but seriously?

I want to wave my white flag today. I'm frustrated after talking to my son's in home therapist (through Zoom). She keeps mentioning how they'll need to talk to T1 to make sure everyone is on the same page. I feel like they're crossing a boundary into my own personal therapy. It's getting very frustrating even after I told her I want to keep my stuff separate and she keeps insisting. Maybe it's a good thing I have 2 different Ts right now so they leave 1 of my Ts alone.

Isn't it the most Info thing ever though?

I'm in a much better mood not having seen Info. Could that mean something? Hmmmm... ...nah! Couldn't possibly.

I always found breaks useful. And quitting altogether has been even better. Therapy was one of the most un-useful and flat out awful things I have ever tried.

WFS, that is intrusive and weird at the best of times and wilfully ignorant now. I can't imagine this is the first she is hearing of the pandemic...?

If they wanted to look at my a/c I would have let them. It is too late in the season to have them look at my furnace.

Latest coronavirus baking experiment, chocolate muffins with white chocolate chips, is eh. Possibly because I got distracted while the chocolate was melting and let it solidify a bit too much.

Edible, though, and that’s what matters, amirite?

I cut the grass today - that was my excitement. Tomorrow I will weed whack.
Spacing out the fun

I am usually disappointed by white chocolate.

The one pot chef rarely endorses white chocolate.

I only like white chocolate in ben and jerry's new york super fudge chunk ice cream - which every so often is my go to when I feel edgy and go against my usual ice cream rule of nothing lumpy in my ice cream.

I finished my box of xmas chocolate today.

I didn't do much in the extra session R offered today, Just cried through most of it.

"Why are you scared of me?"

I'd rather have white chocolate than no chocolate like where I am now.

My grandfather would always buy my little sister milky bars we always used to eat them in a set way starting at the corners leaving the horse to last.

I would suggest repeating the experiment.

You don't have to let anyone who maybe a carrier inside your home. You made the right choice for you. I've also heard of other's on another forum refusing access to their flat because of a neighbors bathroom leak. When they said no they still managed to fix it anyway.

I'm that plus and everything more.

H wants a new car...

It has happened - a family member has tested positive.
I still would let the a/c guy in though.

so today my son came to visit me and he wouldnt give me a hug .it broke my heart but i understood.although parts of me fel i would rather be sick then to no longer recieve a hug from my son .
i also have a second appointment with this therapist today i hope it goes ok .im still on the fence about it all

Sorry to disappoint you all, but Dr. T has trimmed his beard. I commented on it, and he said his just kept growing out instead of down, and he felt like he'd end up with a beard Afro, so he trimmed it. Think he may have trimmed his hair, too, or at least gelled it down a bunch. So, no Dr. Caveman.

He was wearing his zebra shirt today though.