Couch 225: 2+2=5, Sheeple!

So I sent an email to Dr. T last night saying how while I do understand that he cares about me, due to his actions, it would be helpful if he could say it in word sometimes, however he felt comfortable phrasing it (like with disclaimers/caveats, etc.). I was fully expecting either some reassertion of his boundaries (which I acknowledged in the email) or a reply of "Let's discuss this Monday."

Instead, he just sent a really nice and, well, caring response that made me cry in a good way. Things like caring "a great deal" about my well-being, being "strongly invested" in supporting me, having compassion for my struggles, how I'm a good person, etc. Even included (cover your eyes, SD) a winking emoji at the end. (That part was because I'd said how it would be nice to hear words about caring at least every 50-100 therapy hours--in other words, that I wasn't asking for it all the time--so he said he hoped this would hold me for 50-100 sessions, winking emoji.) He still has his bad/stupid/clueless moments, but I feel like the pandemic has really changed him as a T (or maybe it was partly my influence, I don't know).

Yesterday was Nowruz, the first day of the Persian New Year. My BF is from Iran and I surprised him my best attempt at haft-sin, a tradition where you set a table with seven items that start with the Persian letter ‘s’ (س). I managed to find everything except this particular kind of pudding called ‘samanu’ — I called a ton of Middle Eastern grocery stores but they were all out. It made him super happy, and I’m very pleased with myself

If it helps, I'm 6 years in. Like 130 sessions and my T says we definitely have plenty of work left to do.

I don't ever want to terminate with my T, even if we drop to like...twice a year sessions some day. But yeah I don't dare to ask haha.

You'll be ready when you are, and it's also OK if someone never wants to stop.

Thanks for this. I don't ever want to completely terminate with L either. We had reduced frequency to every 2 weeks in early Feb, and I had been feeling pretty good about it, even with texting her this past Tuesday I realized right when I did it, that I had the tools to be able to sit with the stuff til Friday. I just wasn't using them. But then the stuff I've been working on lately that we talked about on Friday caused her to say that clinically her opinion was that I should go back to weekly to accelerate the 'work'. I guess I should ask her what is the goal here, what is the endgame, whatever. I need to know concretely what we're working toward because I am not sure we are working toward the same thing anymore.

I think it's good to have a discussion about the goals of therapy. It should be about what *your* goals are, not what L thinks they should be. So I'd ask her what her goals are and see how they compare to yours.

I was convinced in the dream that if I saw it it would have red eyes and be like the devil in disguise.

I finally got an appointment for my first COVID shot on Thursday after trying for several weeks then two hours later my local library called me and asked if I wanted an appointment at their one-day vaccination clinic.

#whenitrainsitpours

I finally got an appointment for my first COVID shot on Thursday after trying for several weeks then two hours later my local library called me and asked if I wanted an appointment at their one-day vaccination clinic.

#whenitrainsitpours

It was a really tactile dream, I could feel the cat. That doesn't usually happen to me.

That's really sweet that you did that, Chihiro! Out of curiosity, what are the items arranged in a circle on the plate in the upper right?