Couch 238: Appreciating Small Progress Couch

LonesomeTonight · Jul 19, 2022, 06:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

I used the word "EEK" in a Microsoft Teams message to a coworker of mine in NY. She asked me what "EEK" was....so I said it is an expression of dismay. I count back over the many times I have used that word with her and I feel kind of silly that she didn't know what I was talking about. I'm glad she asked.

Is she maybe a nonnative English speaker? I also think maybe it's one of those things that if you said it in front of her, she'd have gotten the meaning from, say, body language/tone of voice. I wonder if she could have thought it was an acronym or something?

But you had no way of knowing she didn't understand what you meant before (and I know EEK!).

LostOnTheTrail · Jul 19, 2022, 06:02 PM

That's really odd, Kit. Is your colleague a native speaker? I think it's common usage.

EDIT: Great minds think alike, LT!

atisketatasket · Jul 19, 2022, 06:21 PM

I spent four hours today with my estate lawyer inventorying the contents of my mother’s safe deposit box.

Four.freaking.hours. Lawyer said it was the most time she’d ever had to take with a safe deposit box.

And is there some rule that lawyers must explain things at least three times? I felt like yelling at her to STFU (around the 3 1/2 hour mark my patience began to wear very thin). Her wordiness costs me money, is that the idea?

LonesomeTonight · Jul 19, 2022, 06:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

I spent four hours today with my estate lawyer inventorying the contents of my mother’s safe deposit box.

Four.freaking.hours. Lawyer said it was the most time she’d ever had to take with a safe deposit box.

And is there some rule that lawyers must explain things at least three times? I felt like yelling at her to STFU (around the 3 1/2 hour mark my patience began to wear very thin). Her wordiness costs me money, is that the idea?

Wow, how big was that box? That sounds like a painfully long (and very expensive) amount of time. Were there any interesting discoveries at least?

ElectricManatee · Jul 19, 2022, 07:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

I used the word "EEK" in a Microsoft Teams message to a coworker of mine in NY. She asked me what "EEK" was....so I said it is an expression of dismay. I count back over the many times I have used that word with her and I feel kind of silly that she didn't know what I was talking about. I'm glad she asked.

She must not have been a TV-watching child in the nineties.

unaluna · Jul 19, 2022, 07:33 PM

Maybe the person was confused that the EEK was all caps, making it look like an acronym? The regular word eek like you say when you see a mouse would be lower case. And maybe yikes would have been a better word choice.

Is it too late for me to become an English teacher?

unaluna · Jul 19, 2022, 07:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ElectricManatee

She must not have been a TV-watching child in the nineties.

That sounds wonderful!

RTerroni · Jul 19, 2022, 07:56 PM

Almost got into a big fight with my Sister, fortunately I didn't.

RTerroni · Jul 19, 2022, 08:34 PM

Also my friend told me he has to work tomorrow so what we were planning on doing tomorrow we will be doing on Thursday.

stopdog · Jul 19, 2022, 10:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

I spent four hours today with my estate lawyer inventorying the contents of my mother’s safe deposit box.

Four.freaking.hours. Lawyer said it was the most time she’d ever had to take with a safe deposit box.

And is there some rule that lawyers must explain things at least three times? I felt like yelling at her to STFU (around the 3 1/2 hour mark my patience began to wear very thin). Her wordiness costs me money, is that the idea?

We are a tedious lot. But if I wanted to cost someone money - I would have stretched it out to 5 hours. 4 hours is just good customer service and an attempt at appearing caring. Poor lawyers- damned if we do and damned if we don't (I usually represented the dead person/person in jail/incapacitated person so I rarely had to test the limits of my people skills - not surprisingly I had a terrible time representing plaintiffs in most things - civil practice was not my strong suit)

atisketatasket · Jul 19, 2022, 10:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

We are a tedious lot. But if I wanted to cost someone money - I would have stretched it out to 5 hours. 4 hours is just good customer service and an attempt at appearing caring. Poor lawyers- damned if we do and damned if we don't (I usually represented the dead person/person in jail/incapacitated person so I rarely had to test the limits of my people skills - not surprisingly I had a terrible time representing plaintiffs in most things - civil practice was not my strong suit)

It probably would have been 5 hours if she hadn’t turned over some of the inventorying to me.

atisketatasket · Jul 19, 2022, 10:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

Wow, how big was that box? That sounds like a painfully long (and very expensive) amount of time. Were there any interesting discoveries at least?

Like the biggest size they had. Maybe 24” x 9” x 5”? Yeah, that was $1300 for her. I suppose being executrix means a commission, but it’s less than half of hers.

There were some unexpected and old bills of sale from when my grandfather sold his firearms collection, but otherwise it was pretty standard stuff.

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

Is it too late for me to become an English teacher?

Apostrophes everywhere cower in fear.

Quietmind 2 · Jul 20, 2022, 01:49 AM

I think my T accidentally triggered me at our session yesterday.

Quietmind 2 · Jul 20, 2022, 02:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NP_Complete

I want to know how he feels about me now and if he's had any sort of growth since then. Does he still think the way he was treating me was okay? Does he think it was no big deal to casually threaten to kill me? He did all this crap and I still want to see him. I'm so messed up. I doubt anyone in my life, other than P, even knows that it's the anniversary. I'm feeling kind of sui, but not in an emotional way.

It IS self care. Sending you lots of care. I understand those questions, I've similar ones about my abusers. Sometimes I want to see them too.

I can describe my experiences of confronting my parents and abusive brother, and their responses but I don't know if that would be helpful.

You're not "messed up", you are traumatised.

SlumberKitty · Jul 20, 2022, 09:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

Is she maybe a nonnative English speaker? I also think maybe it's one of those things that if you said it in front of her, she'd have gotten the meaning from, say, body language/tone of voice. I wonder if she could have thought it was an acronym or something?

But you had no way of knowing she didn't understand what you meant before (and I know EEK!).

She is originally from Russia. Though I know the word and English is not my first language. I do think the caps could have confused her but I almost always write it that way, for some reason. It's great she could ask, and I could explain...I just felt silly looking over my Teams messages and seeing that I use EEK a lot, I wonder why she didn't ask before? Maybe we have reached a new level of comfortable in our working relationship!! This is my difficult colleague. Then again, I probably spend too much time over thinking and analyzing these things!!

SlumberKitty · Jul 20, 2022, 09:28 AM

Stayed home from work today. Have a pretty yucky migraine. I have plenty of sick time to cover it. I should be better by tonight to volunteer at Church though...

Lemoncake · Jul 20, 2022, 09:36 AM

Sending you love Kit. I hope you get better by the evening.

Lemoncake · Jul 20, 2022, 09:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

Maybe the person was confused that the EEK was all caps, making it look like an acronym? The regular word eek like you say when you see a mouse would be lower case. And maybe yikes would have been a better word choice.

Is it too late for me to become an English teacher?

Think I know of it only because it's a smiley here too:

unaluna · Jul 20, 2022, 10:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

Think I know of it only because it's a smiley here too:

Maybe my role in life is to provide an historical perspective to the exclamatory words.

ScarletPimpernel · Jul 20, 2022, 02:20 PM

Yesterday's session was awesome! I was able to openly talk about my SI and urges. Like completely open. And she wasn't scared of it/me. She had a reaction (which I want and need), but she didn't overreact. Not at all. She welcomed those parts of me into our space and I felt loved, seen and heard and known, not alone. I wasn't scared of her either. I felt like she was really on my team. It was so beautiful.

I'm still struggling with thoughts, still extremely sad and depressed AND I found a new strength and hope. I no longer want to die and am willing to keep trying with L by my side.

Jul 20, 2022, 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

Yesterday's session was awesome! I was able to openly talk about my SI and urges. Like completely open. And she wasn't scared of it/me. She had a reaction (which I want and need), but she didn't overreact. Not at all. She welcomed those parts of me into our space and I felt loved, seen and heard and known, not alone. I wasn't scared of her either. I felt like she was really on my team. It was so beautiful.

I'm still struggling with thoughts, still extremely sad and depressed AND I found a new strength and hope. I no longer want to die and am willing to keep trying with L by my side.

Its lovely that you have found the right therapist, Scarlett

Jul 20, 2022, 03:06 PM

i have to pretend for everyone in real life, but i think my depression is coming back and like 2012 it will kick my butt

LonesomeTonight · Jul 20, 2022, 03:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

Stayed home from work today. Have a pretty yucky migraine. I have plenty of sick time to cover it. I should be better by tonight to volunteer at Church though...

Hugs, Kit, it's good you were able to take the day off. I hope you feel better soon. I'm sure if you're still not feeling well, they'd understand if you couldn't volunteer.

Also, I'd forgotten that English wasn't your first language--you certainly don't write like it isn't!

LonesomeTonight · Jul 20, 2022, 03:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

Yesterday's session was awesome! I was able to openly talk about my SI and urges. Like completely open. And she wasn't scared of it/me. She had a reaction (which I want and need), but she didn't overreact. Not at all. She welcomed those parts of me into our space and I felt loved, seen and heard and known, not alone. I wasn't scared of her either. I felt like she was really on my team. It was so beautiful.

I'm still struggling with thoughts, still extremely sad and depressed AND I found a new strength and hope. I no longer want to die and am willing to keep trying with L by my side.

I'm glad L was so helpful and accepting, Scarlet! And that you've been able to find a new strength and hope. Sending hugs.

LonesomeTonight · Jul 20, 2022, 03:37 PM

I started getting emotional on my way to my T session today. I'd read some bad news about a Facebook friend earlier today, and it only really hit me on the drive there.

trigger warning for death and autism:

Possible trigger:

She's someone I know from a local autism group, though I've never met her in person. Her 17-year-old son was autistic and passed away suddenly on Sunday. I know he had been in a mental health facility for about 6 months--I think he had some other struggles, too, along with autism. But she was someone who had always seemed so positive and loving about her son, at least in how she presented herself on Facebook. Just last week, she posted a pic of them celebrating his birthday together at the facility, saying he seemed happy there. I don't know what happened (not sure if he had a comorbid physical condition as well, like a seizure disorder, which T mentioned). Or if the cause was...something else. But whatever happened, it's terribly sad. And made me feel thankful for my daughter and also a bit guilty for some negative thoughts about her at times, even though I know those are completely normal and OK for all parents.

It helped to talk it through with Dr. T and just feel OK crying about it in there. We discussed some other things as well, lots about my D, plus a bit more about me. As I was leaving, he wished me a good few days, as he often does. Then he added, "I'm sorry about your friend." I said I didn't really know her that well (not sure why I said that!), and he said, "It's still sad." Me: "Yes, it is."

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