Couch 238: Appreciating Small Progress Couch

I understand that seeing the book recommended to you was upsetting, but are you asking them to remove the book entirely, as in not sell it anymore? That can be a slippery slope.

Thanks, NP.

I find the idea that something like that is currently available on Amazon instantaneously incredibly problematic.

If it was to be recommended to somebody who might be on the verge of making that decision, but could otherwise have been helped....

It's available in multiple formats and languages as well.

Plus the idea that it could be served to somebody who was looking for support in dealing with that kind of loss, but finds that instead....

Chilling.

Having said that, I understand what you mean.

Feeling like I am unraveling a bit. I have things to look forward to in the next few days so I am trying to hold it together. But at the same time, I feel like I am falling apart spectacularly.

I get what you're saying, but who gets to decide what books can exist and be sold? Sorry to be argumentative about this, but my mind is drawing a correlation between censorship and other things happening in my country right now where a certain group of people have made decisions that affect other people in profound ways.

Also, there are legitimate reasons for that knowledge to be available and it can easily be found on the internet for free, and removing the book will not change that.

I understand what you're saying, and what's happening over there right now is unconscionable. I also appreciate that if somebody is determined, they will find what they are seeking.

My objection is to it being arbitrarily recommended to users, and the only way to stop that is for it to be removed from the site altogether.

This is an incredibly sore spot for me, and I would never have anticipated having to deal with something like this.

ARe you trying to get them to censor what others can see/books to purchase? I don't think that is the call for anyone else to make. I am outraged to think amazon/libraries/bookstores might take a book off of the shelf because someone didn't like the contents. Surely that person should not have to read the book but taking it from everyone is wrong.

I don't know if I am having negative symptoms of Schizoaffective disorder or if I am having symptoms of depression, since they kind of overlap, or if I am having both. I want to go home and sleep but I feel like I have a responsibility to be at work. At least we have Monday off for Independence day so I feel like I will get a little break with the three day weekend. I don't know. Maybe I need to go to the hospital again. I don't feel suicidal but I am having a lot of difficulty with how I am feeling. Maybe my therapist can help me tonight. I don't know if I will be able to adequately explain how I feel. Tomorrow is my birthday. I don't want to feel this crappy tomorrow.

Same here. I mean, the things you mention aren't painful, right? Just really uncomfortable.

Censoring is bad, but a society must decide where to draw the line and there are books that are forbidden, even in western countries. I think it's okay to ask for censorship, just not to go around with a mop of people burning books at will. When we ask for stuff, they can be discussed and, if appropriate, discarded.

trigger warning for humans. Pun intended, just not sure how to explain who'd be triggered by this without naming the subject.

I am against all censorship - knowledge is good. How one uses the knowledge is up to them -but do not try and impose your limits on other people. Just because you don't want to know or see something does not mean you get to keep it away from everyone. I honestly don't care what it is about - knowing does not equal acting. Books give you knowledge which no other human has the right to prevent.
You don't have to read it but by god you don't get to tell me I can't.

I had to go to ebay to get 6 copies of a book I consider to be incredibly important to possess due to the american smothering theocracy and embrace of misery causing religion and its nonsensical way of viewing death. But I have them and they have come in handy to give to those who needed the information and for my person. Having information brought her comfort.

What if I have to live like this forever and never get better? I can't tell if I am in a low place or this is reality. I used to be a person. Now I am just a robot or a zombie. My thoughts get eaten up. I have no life in me.

I'm sorry you're going through this, Kit. You're so much more than a robot.
You're a person who's experiencing mental pain.

HUGS

SlumberKitty, can you remember times when you have been well? Can you recall feeling human? What grounds you in your humanness? For me, I swim. I cook. Walk. I eat porridge. I shower. I spend time alone. Read. Clay. Sound baths. Grind coffee. Strong smells. Stretch. Take up space. Groan and screech.

More women should screech more often. I frequently have the urge to screech in public spaces, especially supermarkets and cafes, but I always repress it. If we all screeched, what a loud and glorious chorus of pained, female souls we could be.

Hi comrade. I can't really remember times I have been well though I am sure this is not so. I probably have been well sometimes I just can't remember them right now. I think the last time I felt human was when I was at my cousin's baby shower and my other cousin was there with her 3 month old. And I got to hold her a lot. It was precious times. It was also incredibly sad for me since I will probably never have children of my own but holding her made me feel like almost normal. This was a few months ago though. And she lives in AZ. So does my cousin that the baby shower was for. I live in CA.

Being able to feel human is a significant part of wellness. Would holding a pet or animal help to recreate that feeling of connection with another living being? It sounds like that was a meaningful time with your cousin's baby.

Hey Kit,

This might sound weird, but bear with me, OK?
Can you let yourself really bask in that memory of holding your cousin's baby, and that good feeling?
Close your eyes, and let yourself 'go there' for a few minutes, and then see how you feel.

Might bring you closer to a kind of balance.

HUGS

Thank you Comrade and Lost. I will try both suggestions. HUGS kit

I hope those suggestions are helpful, Kit. Showering, swimming, drumming, and being out in nature are helpful grounding things for me.

I do the screeching/screaming thing sometimes too - at night sometimes when I can't sleep - I scream into my pillow.

Well, the fridge repair guy just left, took him a bit but he got our fridge and freezer both working again! Now we just need to let them get down to temperature and tomorrow after I get off work I'll go grocery shopping.

Hey if its good enough for Princess Kate, right?

I have a feeling its gonna start happening more.

I screeched this morning when I found boxes of Xray films in the basement. My mother stored her old practice’s films there when it dissolved, apparently.

This was screech-worthy because they can’t just be thrown out, because HIPAA and because silver in the films would be environmentally toxic. Gotta find a recycler to take them.

It’s just one surprise after another here.

Record destruction is a pain. I had to hire a company to destroy a bunch of legal records for me - I had over 300 boxes - had to keep them a certain number of years before I could destroy them. And it isn't cheap. But at least the company I hired came to me with their massive destroying truck.

My response is in trigger warnings, since it is about your TW

Lol, no. You can go to a special sedation dentist, but it isn't the norm for routine stuff.
Oh man, I just read this book where one of the main characters just screams in public. It would scare me if people actually did that, but I do see your point!