Couch 241: Twin primes!

Should get my new Kate Spade bag today that I bought to go to Peru. I needed a small one that can fit in my carry on luggage and isn't 1000 lbs with all my crap in it. Lol.

My difficult coworker is annoying me again. And blaming me for stuff that has nothing to do with me. Take your concerns to management lady!

Ugh, those are the worst! I was concerned D had that last night because she said both she had a throat tickle and that her stomach hurt. Or that she had influenza A or strep, which can cause both sorts of symptoms.

I hope they don't bring any germs with them.

And hugs, I'm sorry you're having a rough day. At least you have the Kate Spade bag to look forward to.

cooolllll whiiiipppp

is anyone else not doing anything for the holiday?

Hi velcro! I'm not doing anything particularly interesting. We might get together with some friends but that's about it. I'm going to try to catch up on sleep and finish some half-done knitting projects, but that might be a bit ambitious with the kids home for two weeks.

I wish I wasn't doing anything. I have to go to four Christmas gatherings... And I'm really not in the spirit this year. I wasn't even creative with my gifts like I usually am. Gift cards for all.

I'm not doing anything, other than not working. My department is closed both 12/25 and 12/26, the paid holiday is only 12/26, so to be paid for Christmas Day which is Sunday a normal workday for me, I have to use PTO which is fine with me, as I need to use up my purchased PTO (if I don't use it in 2022 I lose it and work keeps the money I pre-paid in for it). I always say I'm not going to get myself in this position and yet every December, here I am. I guess it happens mostly because we can't use PTO at all in January, and then my team is usually still doing overtime until March so I tend not to use much til after our OT ends. I know I know stop purchasing PTO right? Nope, never!! bahahahaha I always figure it out.

I have never heard of having to buy PTO. That just seems wrong somehow, especially if you can lose it. Do they not give you any PTO?

At one time, my job allowed us to pay so much a pay period in order to 'buy' extra days off. I used to do it.

You're welcome to go to my in-laws' in my place on Christmas Eve!

My stepmother, who does not have any kids of her own (married my father-in-law like 15 years ago) and who does not have any training in education, developmental psychology, or special ed and no known experience with autistic kids beyond my D, sent an email to my H this morning detailing how we should be handling my D, how my mother-in-law, who watches her weekly, is doing it wrong. How if you just follow these simple guidelines, she will have no trouble with transitions! (SMIL/FIL watch D maybe once every couple months.)

Apparently, she has also been exchanging emails with my MIL about this topic. And they'll all be there on Christmas Eve! So you are welcome to come enjoy that in my place or attend along with me and watch the drama.

LT, Ugh, that sounds horrific!

I am not doing much on Christmas Day other than Church. My sister plans to arrive around dinner time on the 26th so IDK if we are celebrating Christmas that night or if we will do it on the 27th. I see there is a musical version of Matilda coming out on Netflix I think it is that day. Might watch that on Christmas before/after Football.

Christmas Eve I am going to Disney on Ice and then going to Church in the evening.

Oh yes, I would love to be able to do that. I get 12 days Vacation, 3 days Personal and 3 days sick but I always need more time due to the Schizoaffective and end up having to take unpaid time. Ugh.

Oh and I cannot combine personal with vacation. So when I go to Peru I am taking 2 sick days and then 5 vacation days. Dumb, I know.

I think my T triggered me the other day. She thinks so too. I don't want to admit that she did because then it's like she has some influence over me or something. But yah.

But wouldn't it still be unpaid if you had to purchase those days off? I'm confused about how this is supposed to work. Maybe I need to google it.

I don't know exactly how it works because I've never had a company offer it. But what I think is the benefit is prepaying for the PTO. So if I spend 5 days in the hospital, I wouldn't have 5 "unpaid" days at work plus the expense of the hospital bill.

LT - Shouldnt SMIL be smarter by her age? Omg!

Thanks, Kit! She's just very...clueless. And thinks she has the solution to many things. Also never stops talking. I just feel bad for my mother-in-law (who I do like) when she's around. Also pretty sure my FIL started dating her while they were still married, so there's also that (SMIL made a comment at one point suggesting that).


And I'm OK with clueless people or talkative people, just...not people who rarely see our child telling us how to parent her!

Right? And I can't imagine how my FIL puts up with her.... He doesn't tend to have too much to say.

Session with Dr. T went well today. I shared with him some of the stuff I'd discussed with R. I said I realized I'd been pushing him too much in areas where he was uncomfortable and not respecting his feelings about it. And also sort of turning the tables on him, trying to analyze him instead. I said I was sorry for doing those things. He said he really appreciated my saying that and how it meant a lot to him. Then said that again at the end. So I guess it really affected him.

I also told him about what I'd said to R near the end about not letting him define me, how I am someone with strong emotions who shares them sometimes, and that's OK. How my mom acted like I should keep them all in, and I didn't want to feel I had to be that way. And I said I had a second part that I'd realized this morning. Dr. T asked if he could comment on the first part, and he said how the feelings themselves weren't the issues. That they're fine. But that he's trying to teach me how people can be affected what I do with them, like in terms of my sharing them.

I said the second part that struck me this morning was "I don't get to define you either." Like to not suggest there's something wrong with him for being uncomfortable with my feelings toward him. Or with how he is in general. That it's just how he is, and that's OK. He seemed to appreciate that as well.

As painful as some of this has been, I think it's also leading to some important realizations for me, maybe a breakthrough of sorts?

We earn a certain amount per pay period, depending on years of service. On top of that, we can "purchase" extra time off; they take out x amount of each paycheck that they then give back to us as 'pay' when we take time off. the problem with it is - that they don't dip into our purchased pto bank unless we have used up what we've accrued up to the point we take time off. like say i have accrued 16 hours and take 2 days of PTO - they use all of my accrued 16 hours and don't touch the purchased. it's so confusing and why i end up with purchased that i have to use up at the end of the year. i probably explained it wrong.

I'm glad your session went well, LT.

Christmas day is h and my 25th anniversary. We decided today that we're celebrating it early, this weekend. Going to one of my favorite little towns and spending the night in a charming little motel and we plan to walk through the town tomorrow evening looking at all the christmas lights/decorations they have up this time of year. It may be cold but it'll be fun! And here I was thinking that we weren't going to do anything at all.