Couch 241: Twin primes!

Hugs LT, that sounds so difficult with your daughter! I hope that the new pdoc is helpful!

Thanks, Artie!

I was really emotional in session today about it. Dr. T showed a good amount of empathy. And he gave my hand an extra squeeze when I was letting go of the handshake, which felt like maybe he was trying to reassure me.

Sorry I'm such an egg. Missed out the word "safe" in my post to NP!

Looks like I won't be going to Therapy tomorrow due to the weather.

Sorry to hear that. Is a virtual or phone session possible?

If they call tomorrow and ask about it I'll do it otherwise I won't worry about it, a few months back I told the Therapist that if I ever can't make it to session for whatever reason I just won't show up.

Good morning couchies. Starting today I'm off work for 11 days, but i was up at the crack of dawn today, so I made hot chocolate and wrapped gifts while everyone was sleeping. We are having a cold snap this weekend, I hope you’re all safe and warm.

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Why would you not call or email to cancel?

I agree that you should at least let them know. Otherwise, you're no-showing. And for me, that would lead to my having to pay the full fee for the session. If you're open to a phone or video session, makes sense to call or email and ask if that's an option.

So, today, when I was leaving Dr. T's office, as I stepped from the office part into the waiting room, there was a guy who asked me to hold the door (it automatically locks). I didn't register what he was saying in time, so I didn't and apologized. He said he was a new employee there and hadn't been given his keys yet. He looked a bit disheveled, but I put it aside in my mind. He wished me a Merry Christmas, and I said it back.

Trigger warning just in case, for fears that went through my head:

I got increasingly more anxious, and when I got home, I texted Dr. T starting with "Office Security Alert" and said what had happened. (I'd have called, but he told me recently that he never just answers his phone.) A little bit ago (maybe 45 minutes after my text), he texted back that it *was* actually someone who's working there who had yet to get their keys. And said he was sorry I was put in that situation and thanked me for alerting him. So I'm relieved, both that everything was OK with the guy and also that Dr. T understood that I was genuinely trying to alert him and not trying to come up with some excuse to contact him. I said in my reply that I probably watch too many crime dramas.

Had something similar happen. We were in session and heard someone come into the little waiting room. P made an offhand comment about he didn't know who that was. When I was leaving, I glanced at the guy and I just got weird, sketchy vibes from him. Probably a me thing. I couldn't shake the feeling that P was alone with that sketchy guy out there so I ended up emailing him to make sure he was okay. It was fine, I think the guy had an appointment and was just really early for it or something. I too have watched way too many crime dramas.

I feel better that you did something similar! I do think it's better to be safe than sorry in these types of instances. I mean, I wouldn't want to be texting T every other week about it, of course. But I'd have struggled to forgive myself if I had just shrugged it off and something bad had happened (even if it was just, say, theft of some computer equipment).

A while back I told the Therapist that if I was ever not able to make it to session I just wouldn't show up and she was OK with that. So far the Therapy place hasn't called me so either they are not open or they realized that some clients may not make it in due to the weather.

I'm on medical assistance so I don't have to pay anyways, plus I am sure they know some people won't make it in due to the weather. I may also miss session on January 20th due to the Motorsports race car show being that day but in that case I will tell my Therapist in advance.

I would (and did -the second woman's building had some insane way of getting in to the building) just let the person in and went on with my life. Seriously there are not nearly as many ne'er do wells out there trying to rob or burgle therapists than sensationalist news reports might lead you to believe. In all my time as a public defender - we never had one therapist victim case. Which frankly surprises me because of how horrible those guys can be and how they can piss people off.

Well, he did say before that they've had issues with homeless people hanging out in their waiting room (today is super cold here, so it would have made sense). I think one, uh, used the trash can as a toilet, too (despite there being a public bathroom in the building). And he said they also had a break-in that led him to getting a camera for the waiting room (I think this was before I started going there?).

I feel like it's similar to letting someone in behind you in a secure apartment building. Most of the time, it's probably a resident you don't know or someone visiting a friend/family member. But there's the chance you let in a burglar or other criminal.

It always depends on the circumstances, in my T's office I'd not have thought any of it, anyone can just walk in. However, if it's a normally locked door, I'd also inform someone or not let them in or whatever... also, while my T wasn't ever robbed as far as I know, he was randomly attacked by a patient in the clinic he was working at (that he didn't personally know), so never say never I guess.

One of the things I really disliked when I still worked in the office before going WAH (work at home), was that they were constantly sending out reminders to always be aware of tailgaters who didn't have their badges and to not let anyone in without a badge ever because everyone had to wear their badge and let themselves in the doors (all the inside doors to our company are locked and require a keycard) and we were supposed to confront anyone without a badge/security card and escort them to the front desk. If I ever saw anyone waiting at a door, I would just turn around and go to a different one because as I saw it, I am not paid to be a security guard and refused to confront anyone. If I knew the person worked there, I would let them in of course.

Yes, that doesn't seem like a fair position to put you (and other employees) in! I mean, what are you supposed to do if they just sort of grabbed the door when you opened it?

So I was out walking earlier and had a kind of epiphany I guess you'd call it just drop right out of the sky... it's Friday, and was just about 1pm (what used to be my session time with L) so I was thinking about her and the work we did together as I walked. I started out by thinking about how badly I still feel because of how near the end there, it appeard that I had made her feel taken advantage of (I'll spare y'all the story behind that) and then I was like, maybe I should forgive myself and let it go, it's been over a year now, why am I still feeling bad about this, I'm sure SHE has long forgotten about it. Then I was like, I don't know how, why do I have such a hard time forgiving myself for stuff like this? Which is when the aha hit. This is super embarrassing. But, here it is. I can't forgive myself for doing something that I haven't actually owned doing. If that makes sense. However unintentional it was (and that's where I would always stop, using that as an excuse to not own it) - I still did it - so I need to accept responsibility for how I acted. So with purpose I said it out loud to myself and the universe, that I own that behavior/accept responsibility for it, have definitely learned from it, and I am now choosing to forgive myself for my part in it and move forward. I'm going to see how that sits for a while....

My university has a thing where everyone is supposed to be wearing a badge that is visible. So far I have not complied. I think a lot of that sort of thing is knee jerk over reaction. And since it is extremely and unnaturally dangerously cold here today - I would not begrudge a homeless person an attempt at being warm.
There was an md at a hospital where I was appointed to represent the alleged incapacitated for mental health holds and this guy got clocked by someone almost every single day. It got so the atty representing the md/hospital made more fun of him than I did. They even took up a collection to give him lessons in how to duck. I don't know if the md found it funny but the judge and I did.

Artie, that sounds like a really important realization! I hope the forgiveness sticks.

And I don't think you took advantage of her, for whatever that's worth. She played a role in that, too.

When they renovated my building, the faculty office wings requires
tapping our ID cards to enter. Most of my colleagues have taken to wearing them on lanyards; I refuse, since I hate lanyards.

Before the renovation, a colleague in another department in the building had an experience with someone wielding a knife in the office wing (no attack, he was just holding a knife). And then there was the day we had a brief lockdown because someone carrying a sword was wandering about. State universities with their public grounds tend to attract all kinds of oddballs.

Thanks LT! I hope with this I'm finally truly closing the door or whatever on that chapter of my life!

In an ironic turn - the pd's office where I worked was robbed - the guy came into my office but I told him to leave as I had no appointments that day and then he went down to the secretary suite and got a purse from one of them. The cops got a good laugh out of that and the secretary transferred to a rural office where she thought she would be safer than our inner city office.

We have a free legal clinic in our building which causes some concern with the faculty who have never worked as actual attorneys.