Couch 241: Twin primes!

I don't think I would like the analogy of a demilitarized zone. I'm glad though that it feels okay with Dr. T right now. HUG Kit

Comrade, i sensed long ago that we were twins. The truth is whatever wool she can pull over my eyes.

They should make baby cards that say, "congratulations on the arrival of your little scapegoat."

Well blow me down, h actually pulled up his big boy pants and we ended up having a really nice visit with son and his gf. We even went out to dinner with them, just got home. I'm just so absolutely proud of him!! He's grown into such a good man. I was proud of myself for not crying when we said goodbye.

Well blow me down, h actually pulled up his big boy pants and we ended up having a really nice visit with son and his gf. We even went out to dinner with them, just got home. I'm just so absolutely proud of him!! He's grown into such a good man. I was proud of myself for not crying when we said goodbye.

Today, Dr. T used the rather unfortunate analogy of a demilitarized zone to refer to the therapeutic boundaries between us. I asked about what crossing into that zone might look like. And he said I'd done so in saying I loved him without further explaining it (beyond that it wasn't romantic, which I'd thought was sufficient explanation?). That I'd definitely stepped back out of the zone now, probably further back than where I'd been before.

I said the irony of this was, I'd shared that because I felt safe and secure in the relationship. And now it felt less safe. He agreed on the irony and seemed a little sad about it. Said he thinks we can get back to where we were. Also said that he sees love (in general) at this one extreme end (he gestured), whereas I see it as this broad spectrum (he waved his hand back and forth). And that his reaction was about how he sees it. That it feels different now understanding how I view it.

I know that all probably sounds pretty negative, but it generally feels OK right now with him, like we're working things through. And there was a nice moment near the end when Dr. T was like, "Wow, look at that huge hawk!" Me; "Where?" He said I'd probably have to stand up to see it, so I did. He pointed, "In the tree right there," I still didn't see it. I moved a bit closer to him (still a couple feet away) so I could better follow his pointing, then I was like, "Oh! Wow!" It was a big hawk (maybe a red-tailed hawk?) perched in a tree maybe 10 feet from his window. Then it flew off.

Well blow me down, h actually pulled up his big boy pants and we ended up having a really nice visit with son and his gf. We even went out to dinner with them, just got home. I'm just so absolutely proud of him!! He's grown into such a good man. I was proud of myself for not crying when we said goodbye.

Nothing wrong with telling someone you love them. Don’t think he’s done a good job with this.

I had dinner w it’s a friend at my university. Not a disabled friend.

She told me our school must be a good place to have a disability because it was so committed to social Justice.

She was serious. Has she not been paying attention to the past two years of my life?

I politely contradicted her but didn’t get into it. But the comment is eating at me a bit. Am I overreacting to the last two years? I don’t think so.

Do you ever tell him these things? When you're proud of him? That you think he's a good man?

I have found that praising my H when he does good goes further then nagging him when he acts up. They need that praising and uplifting as much as we do. Everyone does. And sometimes we forget to say it. I know I've been trying to show my appreciation more from H, and because of it, H is doing more to get my praise. I also have found that L and even T need it too.

Nothing wrong with telling someone you love them. Don’t think he’s done a good job with this.

I tell my son that all the time, yes.... that's who i was talking about being proud of.

I guess I should take a moment to let H know I appreciate that he did come out and socialize. I've been so aggravated with him lately, I guess because I'm still not over the comments he made recently about my weight. I should just let it go and move on. Thanks Scarlet for the reminder.

Oh my gosh! I apologize for reading your post wrong.

I agree with this. It reminds me of L and her whole "you don't know me" when I'd tell her I loved her. I wish like the dickens I'd had the nerve to respond "And you don't get to tell me how I feel." But alas, I never did.

eta: and besides, isn't there enough hate in the world, that an honest expression of platonic love should be a good thing instead of being twisted up into some awkward, shameful thing?! Yeah, I guess it's still a sore subject with me

I had dinner w it’s a friend at my university. Not a disabled friend.

She told me our school must be a good place to have a disability because it was so committed to social Justice.

She was serious. Has she not been paying attention to the past two years of my life?

I politely contradicted her but didn’t get into it. But the comment is eating at me a bit. Am I overreacting to the last two years? I don’t think so.

Im watching Cesar (Milan) 911. He always brings his dog Junior, a pittie, on housecalls and makes him the guinea pig or fall guy with the "bad" dogs. I swear today i could see Junior thinking, "Dude i did not sign up for this shyte!"