Couch 246: Choose Change

Well there's a bright spot to my day I suppose, my work week is now done! Tomorrow morning I talk to doc about meds for depression/anxiety and then see L in the afternoon. Saturday one of my work friends is supposed to be coming over, so that will be fun. I'm trying to get my other appointment with primary doc changed to sooner because I hate this thing with my heart rate. It's really beginning to worry me, I've never felt anything like this before! For about a day, it seemed better, but today it's been spiking wildly all over the place, it feels weird, and it is making me tired. I have been drinking only water today, no caffeine, and no chocolate. I don't feel like going to the store for fish. Too people-y. I have chicken in the fridge so will go make something with that for dinner. The only times that I never notice the heart rate thing is while I'm out walking, so I'm still doing a lot of that. In fact it's time for a walk now.

Are you on a beta blocker? I hope they give you one. It steadies your heart rate and helps with ptsd because you dont get as freaked out by stuff to begin with - there was a big todo in the papers a good while ago because the media made it sound like it made you forget trauma. But it does make weight loss more difficult because it slows your butt down.

I thought maybe you were catching the flu.

I dunno…earlier I read a moo post and thought sd wrote it.

Not sure which of them will be more offended by that…

actually yeah i've been on atenolol for blood pressure for like 20+ years. They've never changed my dosage - i wonder if it needs to be changed. Huh.

Offended? I feel like I have finally made it!

My son just called! I think I did pretty good at not sounding anxious. The surprise of him calling was enough to shake me out of it long enough for a conversation. Whew! I miss him. But I'm so happy for them living in such a beautiful place that they both love so much.

Sensitive isn't my strong point

Naps are good even without scotch-but scotch makes them even better

Im sorry, i shouldnt tease you. But dang i almost dislocated my jaw, it dropped so hard, so many times, reading those lines. I looked like one of those singing fake fish.

There was a time i thought you were a shadow SD account.

I am teasible. I didn't think it wasn't in character for me. Look at how many times I use the term one for example. And I found my cursing the light bit inspired.

[QUOTE=unaluna;7377621]There was a time i thought you were a shadow SD account.[/QUOTE

Atat is much more tactful than I am -that should have given it away to you right there

The Hawaii fund?

It were brilliant.

Ok so doc wants to prescribe buspirone (never been on that) or sertraline (because I was on that in the past), he gave me some literature to read and told me to think about it and let him know. After my appt next week where i'll address the heart rate thing, i'll be better able to decide what i want to do i think.

not gonna read it yet though. therapy hangover in full swing. raw/emotional session this afternoon; must go watch mindless television for awhile while it processes.

I take 3 - 10 mg tablets of buspirone a day. I love it. I also take Lexapro, and Lamictal. I am drugged up and still have major depression, but I am on an even keel which is better than I have been my entire life.

I say dear lord, not good lord.

The devil’s in the details.

Thank you for sharing, zoiecat.

When did they start playing nfl games at 8:30 am? I woke up and my girlfriend had a football game on

They're playing a game in Frankfurt this morning (I'm watching, too). Part of their whole "trying to spread the NFL popularity around the world" thing. Had a few London games last month (my team was in one). Think this is their first time in Germany. They did Mexico last year (maybe?), but that wasn't a morning game.

There has been talk of having the Super Bowl in another country, but that just seems stupid to me.

P is taking another week off this week starting Wednesday. It wasn't unplanned or a surprise to me but he recently told me that the reason he's taking it off is because he is putting his dog down this weekend ( RIP O) and he wanted some time alone to be sad. I've been thinking about him all weekend knowing how hard this is for him. We're supposed to meet on Monday and Tuesday. I feel kind of weird coming in to talk to him knowing he's going through this right now. I keep thinking maybe it'll be a distraction for him. I don't know whether to say anything else to him, especially given our latest troubles which seem to have been instigated by my desire to be friends with him. I brought in some doggie cupcakes to give her at our last session. I hope that wasn't too friendly, but in my defense, they were for his dog, who I have met on multiple occasions, not him.

I hope you're doing okay @ScarletPimpernel.

it's so hard when they tell us personal stuff like that NP.

I understand how this is difficult. But Dr. T would say that it's your T's choice to still meet with you. If he didn't feel in a place to do so or wanted to take the time to mourn his dog before Wednesday, he'd have done that. I agree that it's probably a distraction and may actually be helpful for him in that way.

Maybe you could say something like, "I feel like I should say something about your dog, but I also know you don't like talking about personal stuff, so..." Or just "I'm sorry about your dog. I imagine you don't want to talk about it more, but i just wanted to mention it." That way, it's not just sort of hanging out there.

Or, for the first thing I mentioned, "I feel sort of bad meeting you with you after what happened with your dog, but I know it was your choice to meet with me, so I assume it's OK." (Maybe worded a bit better than that!)

Hope your sessions go well and are helpful.