Couch 246: Choose Change

I do not have a problem with you, but I do have a problem with being told how to offer my support or my contribution here on this public forum. For what it's worth, I will not be sending you (or anyone) a private message. I do not wish to engage in private conversations here.

This is a public forum and if you choose to post publicly then you should also expect to see and read the public posts/replies of others. Those posts may or may not perfectly align with your needs or expectations.

I understand and empathize with your request for support right now. And from what I've read over the past couple of days it seems that many people are offering their version of support. However, this is not a therapy session and therefore the support from others may sound more like advice than mirroring. It may be encouragement to seek inpatient care in a time of crisis. It may be anecdotes from one's personal experience or therapy. It may sound like a challenge to look at things from a different perspective....it may be useful or it could miss the mark and not be helpful to you at all, but that does not render it invalid. In fact, something that someone offers here may benefit another reader even if it's not useful to you.

Based on your last post, it sounds like you're aware of your own progress over the past 10 years. That is great. I would encourage you to give yourself some of the recognition and validation you are seeking from others (who may or may not be aware of your 10 year history, etc). Some of the most powerful validation we can receive as adults is what we earnestly offer to ourselves.

Hugs/headnods all around as wanted/needed/appropriate.

My anxiety is so high today ugh. I guess I'm nervous about seeing the dr tomorrow and asking for meds to help with it. It's my son's 25th birthday today and I want to talk to him to wish him a happy day and stuff but I'm afraid he'll hear the anxiety in my voice and ask me what's wrong and be worried about me (he's sensitive like I am) and I don't want to bring him down on his bday. Eh, he prefers texting over phone calls anyway so maybe I'll just text and talk to him on another day when I'm feeling better. I can barely focus on work today I'm so feeling so jacked up. I'm on lunch break now, but before I logged off I'd finished only 20 messages where usually by my lunch break I've done 30.

Maybe you could pre record a video message for him instead and send that to him instead of the phone call? Or write him a letter then send him a photograph of that. Keep the real one for when you see him.

You could tell him about your health later when you're ready after your appointment.

Also well done Art- for asking for extra help for the anxiety.

Are you also eating properly and including food like salmon, walnuts and avocados?

thanks Lemon. I already mailed him 2 bday cards (one from me and h, and one just from me where i wrote some stuff).
re: eating, I was eating healthy, at least until i got into the halloween candy last Friday. it's all gone now as we gave it all away to trick or treaters tuesday night and what was left after I decided to come in for the night we gave to our neighbors, so it's no longer in the house. I have an avocado out on the counter waiting for it to get ripe, actually, for a salad maybe this evening if it's ready by then. salmon sounds good. might have to go to the grocery store after work and pick some up to cook.

I wonder if eating chocolate for a few days is what messed me up so bad.

Hugs, Scarlet. I think it showed a lot of progress and strength to ask for what you wanted and needed. I'm sorry some weren't giving that to you. I hope you don't leave entirely, for good. Please feel free to PM me whenever. And take care of yourself.

I find that chocolate or too much tea or coffee can increase my anxiety. And, like someone else mentioned, the other diet factor that has a big impact on my mood is protein (or lack of protein I should say). When I'm not getting enough quality protein I feel a negative shift in my mood and nervous system.

As a doctor I still stand by what I said. I'm not picking on you, but if anyone else had recently expressed suicidal thoughts and in their own words "immensely self harmed" I would still urge them to seek additional support during a crisis period and I know over the years I have previously said the exact same thing to others .

Just because one asks, does not obligate others to conform. I think it is good to ask rather than hoping that others will guess correctly- and it is good to learn that people are not always going to agree to change to accommodate that request. Flouncing off in a huff deprives one of any support. Is no support better than a lack of 100% support in the exact way one demands? One is not obligated to incorporate any advice handed out. I cheerfully ignore all sorts of things I find flat out silly/completely wrong - just as any number of people cheerfully ignore what I say or think - no harm no foul from what I can see. I acknowledge that sometimes cursing the darkness is a lot more satisfying than lighting a candle when what you really want is a lightbulb -unless what you want is light - in which -light the candle and try to get a lightbulb another way.

The cards sound cute. It's the small things he will treasure as he grows.

If you put the avocado with a banana in a paper bag it could help speed it up.

There's also mackerel which is supposed to be good too and would be cheaper than the Salmon. Could also always bulk buy at Costco and freeze the rest.

https://www.psycom.net/foods-that-he...ety-and-stress

Geez SD you are starting to talk like me. You've seen the light!

It's only a matter of time before she puts on her bikini bottoms back-to-front ...

whooooooo lives in a pineapple under the sea.....

sometimes silliness cheers me up

oh good lord - ack. I was trying to be sensitive - not incomprehensible and certainly never freudian.
I need scotch and lie down.
And a renewed commitment to leaving sensitivity to others

ooh! una got a good lord, an ack, and made sd need scotch and a lie down! That must be some kinda record.

i may need a scotch and a nap also.

...and a vacation. a long vacation laying on a deserted beach somewhere with a stack of trashy novels to read.

I'm supposed to be meeting with P right now, but I decided to reduce how frequently we meet. It felt like it had to happen, but I'm not really happy about it.

hugs, NP.

Hugs, NP. Do you have the option to go back to the usual frequency if you decide this isn't working?

His schedule for this month is already dictating that we couldn't, except for today, and I was feeling a bit hurt and told him I wanted to reduce starting this week. I don't know in the future, but it feels like that's probably not an option for multiple reasons. Despite the title of this couch, I don't want things to change and they are.

Ugh, I'm sorry...

Hey you get points for being aware of that