What is up with this girl?

Yes it is acceptable so you could start approaching women just make sure in a polite manner

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I see nothing wrong with you trying to talk to her or ask her out. However, once she learns the disrespectful and entitled way you treat women, she will likely be uninterested. A "feminist" is someone, male or female, who believes in gender equality. Anything else you "think" a feminist is a negative stereotype. Clearly, you have a problem with women if you are hostile towards feminists. You also are under the misperception that a woman who is not initially interested in you will become so if you are around her and talk to her more-- and, therefore, you believe you are entitled to continue to approach women who are not interested. You do not have that right. And, usually, if a woman knows she is not interested right off the bat-- she will not suddenly become so later. I think your problem stems from a lack of respect for women. If you treated women like intelligent and independent people and stopped calling them "fragile princesses"-- then, perhaps, you would find women who were interested in you.

You have the right to ask this woman whether or not she is interested. However, based on the fact that she has ignored you several times, I think it's pretty clear she is not. Women DO send signals and do communicate through body language. If they're interested, they say hi, they lean in, they want to be around you, and they smile and laugh at the things you say. If they ignore you, it's pretty clear they are not interested. However, it is very hard to be "rude" to someone who is just saying hi-- so women are usually polite and will talk back so as not to come off as "stuck up." It's hard to say "leave me alone" to someone who hasn't done anything wrong just because you aren't interested in their company.

Speaking as a woman who goes to the gym 6 days a week, I can tell you that I am there to do my workout and leave. I HATE it when men or women approach me. I'm not interested in meeting anyone new at the gym. It is my sanctuary to be alone with my thoughts for that one hour a day. I hate being interrupted and losing that "me" time. I'm poliye when people try to talk to me, but I try to end the conversation as fAst as possible and then avoid them do it won't happen again. However, if they are persistent, I will eventually ask them to please leave me alone.

Wow. You obviously don't know much about me and didn't read or understand my post.

I am not disrespectful to women. I don't interact with that many girls, but the girls I do know through friends think I am really nice.

I believe in gender equality and I gave feminism a chance. But it became clear to me that most feminists are intolerant bigots. Tell me, why is it that almost every feminist seems to have an intense hatred for men who date younger women? You know, many of these feminists even admit that they don't think it's as wrong for women to date younger men. Oh and I'm not just talking about female feminists. So actually, it is feminists who are hostile towards me.

Really? Because I have met girls before whom I wasn't interested in initially, but then when I talked to them more, I became interested. Are you suggesting that women are all shallow and only base their attraction off of guy's looks?

But either way, I am just being friendly with this girl. I am not even trying to ask her out. I didn't even "approach her" I just asked her a question about her ethnicity when she asked me about putting music on in the multipurpose room and then the next time I said "hey how's it going". I am just asking about if I should be saying hi. Typically when I see someone I know at the gym, I say hi to them. Even her friend, who works at the gym, always says hit to me when she sees me. It is just a bit odd to me when she ignores me because I am not sure how I am supposed to react. I am paranoid that somehow I am the one who is expected to say hi and maybe I am coming off as rude. But then there are people like you who think that saying hi would also be disrespectful. It's just really confusing.

Did you read my post? Like I said, I noticed her looking in my direction multiple times before, and this was before I even realized that I think she's cute. I don't think all women act the same way when they like a guy. She actually seemed pretty friendly when we talked though. Do you really not think it's plausible that she's shy? Do you think every girl is super confident and openly shows interest when they like a guy?

This is just a conjecture, but I am thinking you don't want her to be interested because you think it is wrong for a 27 year old guy to date a 19 year old girl. Am I correct?

You must be busy defending yourself against all kinds of allegations at this point, and G-d help me if I am inadvertently friendly to Scorpiosis at the gym, but wasn't your original question why you were getting such inconsistent responses from this woman, alternately warm and completely distant? Isn't that the real mystery?

You said this in one of your earlier posts:
That really does sound like you were talking about wanting to "chat her up" or ask her out. Maybe you were talking about women in general, but when I read it, I took it to be referring to the girl from the gym.

The initial post was about me being confused by this girl's behavior and not sure how I should act. Typically when I see people I know, they say hi. I am usually the one who sometimes wusses out on saying hi because I am confused about whether it's the right time. I am thinking maybe this girl might have the same issue. If so, then by not saying hi I could be coming off as rude and unfriendly. But then of course we have people like Scorpiosis who apparently take offense to men saying hi which is why I am kind of afraid to sometimes.

I have no real intention of asking this girl out at this point. I am just trying to be friendly. But the main reason I am so eager to be friendly is because I am attracted to her. Does that make sense?

Personally, I think the real issue here is that some people just can't accept the idea of an almost 27 year old guy chatting up a 19 year old girl. But of course, they don't come out and say it's about age because they know they can't win that argument. So instead they twist the story to throw in all this BS that isn't part of it.

I am assuming Scorpriosis is a feminist from what she said. Well, I have NEVER talked to a feminist, online or in person, who would be ok with a 27 year old guy dating a 19 year old girl.

I think the bottom line is like the old advertisement for the lottery - if you dont play, you cant win! Make a commitment, man! If this one says no, you try someone else. Thats the privilege of being a man. Saying yes or no is the privilege of being a woman.

Then again, it might be like trying to date someone at work, to date someone from your gym. If it doesnt work out, it could be embarrassing to have to see them all the time.

Yes, completely.

You could go with a smile and a nod or a "hey" if you cross paths or your eyes meet. Middle of the road, friendly. Not ignoring, but not pushy.

Hello I am a feminist and I have no problem with a 27 year old guy and dating any woman over the age of 19.

So please check the "I never talked to a feminist that thinks its okay to date a 19 year old girl " off your list of life time need to do's

Idk, it could be a generational thing. But whenever i come across discussions online about the topic of dating younger women, it is always the same thing: feminist women bashing men who date younger women and anti-feminist men arguing why it is perfectly ok and bashing the feminist women.

I'm a feminist (70s era) and I am not comfortable with the idea of a 27 year old guy who wants to date a 19 year old girl. This is about people in the abstract, though. I have known specific people for whom that age gap worked. And some for whom it didn't, like my college roommate.

I think we all know the arguments against 27 with 19. Girl who's swayed by an older guy who wants to get married and have kids very soon, etc. etc. The guy doesn't *always* do that, but it's a common story and it often backfires down the road when the woman becomes more mature.

If I were a 27 year old guy, I'd be wary of getting seriously involved with a 19 year old woman.

When I was a 19 year old, I thought 27 year old guys were old. I wouldn't have dreamed of going out with one unless maybe it was one of the few guys that age that were in my classes. They hung out with younger people all the time, though, and I basically thought of them as my age.

That's my opinion. I don't call it an argument and if it was, I don't ever know how it could be "won".

No, you are not correct. I could care less about the age difference. I have no problem with that. I have a problem with your mysogeny and lack of understanding about what feminism is actually about. You throw out rude and disrespectful stereotypes about things you know nothing about. Like I said, feminism is about gender equality. All of the stereotypes and negativity you are projecting are your own prejudices about feminism/women. You also continue to assert that if a woman does not want to be approached by men in public then she is rude or not giving you a chance or shallow. It's a daily chore and inconvenience to be approached by men just about everywhere we go, multiple times a day. Sometimes, we just want to work out, or buy toothpaste, or pick up our laundry. Either we have to be friendly when we don't want to and get delayed by stopping to chat, or we get called rude or shallow or unfriendly because we don't want to. It's a lose-lose situation. Men just don't understand this because it doesn't happen to them in the same way. There's this idea that women are supposed to make themselves available to men who want to get to know them-- but, sometimes, we just don't want to get to know anyone. It's not personal, we just don't have the time, energy, or desire to get to know new people every day-- male or female. Not wanting that isn't being a "b----" or a "princess"-- it's having boundaries and having the confidence to listen to and stand up for oneself.

You can continue to think that women who don't say "hi" are just shy but, as a woman, I would argue that is not often the case. I'm shy and many of my female friends are shy. But, if we are interested in someone, we communicate that by showing interest. I can't think of anyone I know who is so shy that she would ignore someone she was interested in. If a guy has already talked to her at least once, she then feels comfortable continuing to say hi or chat. Many women will not be the first to initiate conversation because they are shy, but after that first conversation, they will keep the contact moving if they are interested.

What's with obsession the feminists? Where do you interact with feminists? Or you just read about them? And what do you care about them? What difference do feminists make in your life?

So first u weren't asking anyone out because your brother and some people you don't even know think it is bad to date young girls, then you don't date because you think your dump and incompetent, then you dont date because of some mysterious feminists.

Please make that therapist appointment and start working on whatever skills u need

I say it with compassion as many of us including me have our relationship issues but stop blaming some non existent perceived ideas or people. Address true issue or it will never improve. Please do so

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You are afraid to say hi to people because some people on the Internet disapprove? For real now dude. You think by saying hi you would appear rude? How does it even make sense?

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You need to abandon victim mentality

The real issue is that you want to date but don't know how (no shame in that) but instead of addressing lack of social skills perhaps through therapy you make up non existent barriers and argue on the Internet. That is a real issue

I am in therapy and one of main issue is relationship issues ( different than yours I have no social anxiety or trouble finding someone to date but have serious issues of other sorts) my t gives me good suggestions. Am I going to apply them remains to be seen but at least I
Am trying.

Why don't you try to improve instead of adapting victim mentality?

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I am extremely sweaty when in gym and my face is bright red. The last thing on my mind is to meet a potential date there. Lol I think most people are there to work out and leave and not hook up. I do chat with people a bit on occasion but even that is a chore

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Goodness Shadix, your posts are full of sexism. Towards both genders!

Stop painting people with the same brush - everyone is different. Stop judging people you don't know based upon your own prejudices and beliefs. Stop pretending that you know what everyone thinks.

I am a feminist. I do not hate men. I think it is ok for men or women to approach someone they are interested in. I do not care of the age different between partners so long as they are both of legal age and consent to the relationship. I don't care if two partners completely fulfill gender stereotypes within their relationship so long as both are happy with it.

There you go. Your stereotyped perception of feminists is now proven wrong. If you call me a liar then you are disvaluing me as a human being, and thus reinforcing your own sexism.

It's funny how you refute your own argument. You say that you would think of 27 year old guys as old, except for the ones you'd actually MET. I think this is quite common. Society has young people convinced that people a few years older than them are a different species, then when they actually meet one of these people, they realize they are just like them. When I was in college, one of my friends was 26-28 and he would hang out with me and my college aged friends. He also dated a 19 year old girl at one point. Now I work with a guy who is 32 and he is friends with all the 22-23 year olds he graduated with who also work with us and his girlfriend is 23.

Just fyi, very few 27 year old guys are in a rush to get married these days. I am certainly not interested in marriage. I actually find that I tend to relate to younger people and the only issue I would have with dating a 19 year old girl is society judging me for it.

My opinion is that it is bigoted for people to judge others because of the age of the person they date.

Ok, I certainly agree that women should not be expected to make themselves available to any man who wants to get to know them. I actually don't approach women because I tend to be afraid that maybe they don't want to be approached. But what I am saying is that it should be more acceptable for men to show interest in women they are attracted to. Basically the way things are now is that it is considered weird and creepy for men to approach women they don't know. Because of this, it is nearly impossible to meet women unless you are fortunate enough to be in school or involved in some other activity where you meet women. Maybe that's ok for you and others who already got to date around and perhaps have a bf, but again, I have never dated anyone yet. I would like to have opportunities to meet a variety of women and that is simply not going to happen if I limit myself to the socially acceptable venues.

Like the other threads of this nature, debate and arguments, calling one another out and being unsupportive is not appropriate, so this thread is being closed.