Am I really not Appealing to Males?

Well, the feedback has certainly been upfront and honest and responded to the OP's original question about the photos

I don't know how well I'd take some of these if they were personally directed at me, but, if you don't ask, you won't know.

Some food for thought on the photos then I think!

I need to wear my glasses 24/7 ok so I can't just go out and buy a new pair. And I took a photo of me without my glasses, with how I would look with my contact lenses, which is clear so you would see my brown eyes. And the hair cut the girl in the original photo had her hair like mine, she had bangs covering her eyes, in a cool style thats what I was going for but guess I just can't pull off any look no matter what I do.

Trust me I have taken photos in the past of me wearing skirts/blouses, dresses, pants/blouses, pants/tshirts, heels, sneakers, costumes, etc. And yet EVERYTIME everyone says I look like a man, tranny, transgender.

I AM NOT I AM A GIRL. BORN A GIRL. NEVER HAD ANY CHANGE OPERATIONS AT ALL.

I take straight on photos, because aren't you suppose to look RIGHT AT THE CAMERA? Not off to the side, because you can't see the whole face from 1 side. I am a photographer and try my best to take good photos but yet nothing becomes of them.

I have posted several photos of me in different outfits and again I just get told crap for them. I can't have someone take a photo of me at a concert, because people will look at the other people in the background, and say "Oh that must be her, not this ugly person in the photo". Thats happened to me before too.

When it comes down to it, I am ugly and nothing I try helps, so I think I am just going to delete the dating profiles and just give up and be alone forever.

That's the wrong attitude. Confidence is a attractive quality. I met my wife on the web site " No Longer Lonely" It's a site for people who deal with mental illnesses. I think my wife and I were actually the first one's married on the site. I think the site is still active. Check it out!

Oh stop, you aren't ugly, you just have some stronger features in your face. Wynonna Judd has a very masculine face (imo), and she does just fine with it. I do think you are hiding your softest facial feature with long bangs though. Maybe brush some of them off of your face so your eyes become the star of your face.

Have someone take a bunch of photos of you without you posing for it, just random pics while you are laughing, reading, whatever....and pick ones to post from there. Those can be much better than the "stand there and pose" photos.

You are not ugly. Not even close. I think you have a very unique look.

Now, I am an ugly guy and way back when I was trying to date I was never brave enough to post a photo. That you did that speaks volumes about you, and yes all good things.

A lot of women would demand a photo so I sent one via whatever chat service they were using and never heard back, they usually just blocked me after I sent the photo. A few would meet me without a picture and they all wanted to bail the second we met up but I became good friends with a couple of them. One even saved my life, repeatedly.

My point is that, you just need to meet guys in person and then superficial things become less important to people. I can't explain why but it is true in my experience. You might also want to try more personal ways of meeting guys. I had a book on dating that suggested things like grocery shopping Saturday or Sunday morning(not likely to be into partying, or married with kids), go to single meetups(I was too shy to last long as these events) or if you are religious, church.

The ratio of quality people is much, much lower online compared to real life opportunities IMO.

I've tried those types of events no luck there either.

I agree with the posters above regarding the photos. You look a bit intimidating - like you would tell somebody off in a heartbeat. Try having someone take a photo of you looking at something, rather than into the lens. Hold a pet or a beachball, but look like you don't know you are being photographed. And, for the purposes of the profile-photo, lose the glasses. I wear glasses 24/7, myself, so I know it's part of who I am, but a guy wants to see you without a barrier in front of your face.

Some people just photograph better than others, and they are not necessarily better looking. Anyone with fears about their attractiveness tends to look strangely into the camera . . . not relaxed and comfortable and happy. Sometimes it's better for the camera to catch you at an angle, rather than squarely, straight-on.

I thought your written profile was more or less okay, but I would absolutely not put wanting to get married in my "intent." That surely scares off some. Slow down. Start with wanting to find someone to have good times with.

Everyone on here has given you great advice. As for me, your profile seems a bit to long and specific. I have a strong feeling that most guys aren't going to take that much time to read the whole profile.

It needs to be shortened and not to specific in order to attract more readers. And the part about having long conversations would probably be a turn off to most guys. Conversations should be short and sweet in the beginning. They're probably talking to other women too, so I doubt to many guys will want to talk to someone who'll expect that much so soon.

Your pics are OK, but your hair style looks a bit dated. I'd try changing it a bit and wear a bit more makeup. Maybe include a full body pic too so guys won't think that you're trying to hide your body. You probably aren't, but some guys might assume you're heavier than you say you are if you don't include a full body pic.

It seems shallow, but guys are visual creatures. I don't think that there's anything wrong about being honest about not wanting kids. You can maybe not put down that you're looking for marriage at the moment, but that might change in the future. Some guys might take that as a sign that you want to get married right away and be put off by it.

It'd probably help to look up articles on how to write an ad for dating sites too? It couldn't hurt.

But you don' know the internet and dating guys, trust me if I post photos of me without glasses, and then show up on the date with glasses, they will think I am a liar. And I get told a ton to take photos of close ups of me, because people can't see me, or see my face, so I take photos of my face, because people say I need a headshot type of photo, so they can see my face. And then take photos of my body, showing me in the outfit I am wearing too.

But again changing my intent is again lying. I want to get married in my life. So if I say I am looking for a relationship, thats all the guy may think, and he may never purpose to me, because hey he may end up being a guy that doesn't believe in marriage or ever thought of it. I have come across a lot of guys that do that sort of thing.

I have found guys on those dating sites that are also looking for marriage and I message them but they don't message back, WHY because I am ugly.

I can't speak for all guys but thinking of marriage before a first date is not something that is in the forefront of people's minds when first meeting a person. It is not lying to not mention marriage upfront.

I am sure there is a lot about you that you didn't mention, is that lying? No! Saying something like "looking for a serious relationship" is a lot less scary, even for guys that want to marry. A first date should be the goal and marriage is a long way past that and really shouldn't even be in the conversation. Maybe after a month or two broaching those really serious topics will go over better. People may not want to get married today, but will sometime down the road. I just don't think marriage is a good screening test for a first date. I could be wrong. I am probably the last person that should have got into this conversation.

There are a lot of reasons why a person won't message back. Maybe they didn't like that you are into cosplay or your music(I like a lot of the same music and it sometimes intimidates people-some people will assume I am aggressive or a stoner, neither of which is true), maybe they are currently seeing a few people and are busy or maybe work got too busy temporarily. You are not ugly. It is possible that some were not attracted to you. There have been women I have thought were very pretty and my friends of either gender thought they were not.

I'd put the main photo without the glasses and then another photo with the glasses. You are NOT ugly, you're just not playing up your best assets. In the full body shot, you look good, but I'd wear clothes that show off your curves more, and more leg- something like a black mini skirt and sexier top. I'm not saying too revealing, just enough that they will have no question you are all woman.

I think the sentiment you are trying to get across in your blurb is that you are a heavy metal head girl, but you are also a nice, Catholic girl looking for a committed relationship. Expressing that is great.

I agree remove looking for marriage, the comment about talking on the phone for hours, and add something that gives a guy something to start a conversation by-- maybe something about music that'll get you to connect with the person you are looking for.

If the guy you are looking for is as into the bands you are into, he will probably be at these same concerts as you, so keep your eyes open at these concerts and talk to people.

You do have a style. You won't be alone forever. We all have to play up the assets we have.

Sorry but DID YOU NOT see my profile? I have 3 photos, 1 up close of my face with my glasses, and one photo of me without my glasses, and then a body shot photo.

I am not going to dress like a slut thanks. Mini skirts and tops is CALLING SLUT.

You wanna bet that I wear that type of outfit and they will STILL CALL ME A MAN AND TRANNY?

But thats the thing the music I listen too, metal i.e. black metal, death metal, hardcore, screamo, thrash metal, NO ONE likes those genres, and any people that do know of METAL list the basics which SUCK. They are good acts but EVERYONE knows them.

Ha at the concerts I go too all the guys there drink, smoke, do drugs,and want sex. I am NOT looking for that period.

THIS IS MY NEW PROFILE -

Work in progress.

I'm sorry that happens to you so much. My best friend when I was a kid got called a boy all the time because she had a short haircut. Even when she was in a dress! And she had big boobs! It drove her crazy.

There's someone for everybody. You'll find that rare guy eventually. You are an interesting contradiction in style and morals.

What types of things should I put for the type of guy I am looking for? The only type of guys I have always been attracted too is Caucasian, Hispanic, metalheads, guys with long hair, or the emo look, who wear skinny jeans, band tshirts, musicians, etc.

I don't know what else I like about guys, I guess I like a guy that can make me laugh, make me feel special, loves and cares for me, accepts me for me, not sure what else.

And yet the style of clothes you are wearing in the photos are very 'girl next door'. Your hair and glasses are a funky style, but it strikes me that your clothes aren't. That's why I brought up the sexier black outfit.

I had a punk BF in the 80's and he said I dressed like Little Bo Peep. Eventually I started dressing like I belonged with him. But, I have BPD traits and tend to become like whoever I'm with...

I'd say you are looking for a guy who is as into the music as you are and who shares your values.

Truth be told, you are 29 and only get paid a little or not at all for your articles. Are your parents supporting you? You are going to have some explaining to do when you do start dating these guys. What do you have to contribute?

You might want to find a guy that you can work with. Maybe someone who is a band manager and you can be the band promoter or an assistant to him.

Basically, you are going to have to work in one way or another. If you are 29, not working, and don't want to have children, what are you going to do?

NEW PROFILE-

Sex, drugs, and rock n' roll, may be what most people describe me as but believe it or not, only half of those is true. Sex comes for those who wait, while drugs well that would be writing and photography if you please. While rock n' roll is my passion, especially metal and punk as well. So me being at a concert every so often isn't new for me. Movies and TV shows is the norm, while catching the latest anime, cartoon, or reading a comic or manga is what makes my days alive. Gaming can't be left out, because there's so many to choose from, sports included.

The guy for me, is one that can make me laugh, is sweet, sincere, kind, caring, loving, has a great personality, is easy going, fun, bold, and just goes with the flow and can understand me. He knows what he wants, accepts me for me, freaky flaws and all. We can share new experiences together, just one that wouldn't mind sharing an evening at home, watching some TV or a movie, playing a game, doing a little reading, just anything that would catch our fancy.

If not that, then taking in the sights and sounds of the city or country side. Perhaps catching a concert, it is my specialty after all. Or maybe going out dancing, may not be able to bust a move like a pro, but dancing with you at my side, makes it worth wild. If those aren't your thing but dressing up in costumes may be just something, because who doesn't like Halloween, where make-up and outfits are sort of a thing, so why not take that, and go explore a convention or expo, as a fun character, could be highly entertaining to get a kick out of ourselves.

Just know that someone is here for you, and will be there for you to show that, you do matter and you are special to at least one person, which is me.

Well people have reviewed my dating profiles before and would say when I did wear the band t-shirts and jeans, I gota dress MORE GIRLY. So I changed my style TO WHAT OTHERS SAID. Thats why I am dressing more girly and to show my figure.

I get paid for my articles but it is rare, like maybe once a year type of payment and pay is not much $20 here or $50 there not much to live off of. Yes I live at home with my family, I contribute to them, by helping them around the house, yes they pay me and I know how to save money, but once that money is gone, it is gone.

I am working on finding work.

When contributing to the dating aspect I can pay for their gas, the date itself, or if we go to a concert, I can get free tickets, and pay for parking. Thats contributing but again once my saved money is gone, it is gone, unti I save up again.

I have looked for guys in my music scene and most don't drive, don't work, do drugs, drink, smoke, and just want sex, and not looking for a real relationship or marriage.

I want a man that works and drives and shares similar interests and doesn't drink, smoke, or do drugs, at all.

I edited your bio a little for you.

Do you think that this new profile is better or should I re-write it again?

Personally, I like it. It's detailed and honest, but not to short or to long. Dating is hard for most people, especially online dating I heard. If this site doesn't work for you, then move on to other sites. Give it some time though. I'm sure that you'll get a few replies soon.

And remember, post up at least one full body pic. Like I said, most guys are visual and they want to know that you're not lying about your weight since some women do just that. Not that you're doing that, just saying.

How many long term, stable relationships have you been in in the past prior to advertising that you're looking for marriage?

I think the profile as now written is much better.

I think a major problem you have is that you're looking for a very, very unusual person to begin with--someone who's into heavy metal and concerts--but doesn't touch drugs, who is a traditional, devout Catholic (what I gleaned from someone else's comment, is that correct?)--but doesn't want children.

You want someone who 'has his life together' but such a person is likely to be drawn to someone who has an education, a job, and her own home at the age of 29. Such a person is less likely to be drawn to someone who's very 'into' animes and cartoons.

I haven't read enough here to know anything else about you, but do you have a college education? Are you working at finding a full time job or building a business of your own?

Sometimes, the thing to do is just go about our own lives, and getting our own lives in order.