Obsessed!!

Yes, it has dissipated at least quite a LOT. I am not pining...... I am processing. And am also moving on, flirting with two different men.

HUGS!

It's good that you recognise what is driving you to use these psychics.

I suppose everyone is entitled to their beliefs but those people make money out of other people's sadness IMO.

I don't mean to cause offence (I hope I don't) but I will give you external validation for free. From what you write he will repeat the same unfortunate behaviours over and over (the ones which caused hm to be in his situation).

What will your future be? I think it can be a happier one without someone like him around. I hope you will also learn how to trust you 'inner voice' too. You are a smart woman, you've just got to believe yourself when you get those alarm bells (it doesn't make you uncaring or unkind).

thank you, Sprout. I know I've spent FAR too much money on these psychics, more than I care to admit, but honestly? They make me feel better, and that's what matters most for me right now. Whatever helps. But you're RIGHT in that I need to trust my own self more....... and to hear those alarms bells loud and clear when they come through!!

What goes around will come around. I've learned from that saying and people who I have dated have learned from that saying. The best place to be is in the right. You were/are in the right and deserve the best. The best will come.

thank you very much.... yes, good old karma! My best friend always says "the best is yet to come."

So..... I am STILL obsessing, and I called my last psychic this morning. I am DONE calling psychics. I have written in my journal all about him to help process my feelings. Funny thing, my therapist last night told me she can be my psychic, that I don't need them to tell me what she can already explain. lol.

Man, this process SUCKS beyond belief. I gave my heart and soul to this guy, and then some. At least now I know I am capable of that level of commitment and giving to someone else. At least now I see him for all that he truly is and I am coming down to reality about him. At least now I know he is definitely NOT right for me in any way, as a marriage partner, or even as a boyfriend.

I know I will find better, and I want to have faith that I will. I do want to marry one day, this is something I've always wanted, yet was too free spirited in my life to ever really settle down. I never wanted kids, either. But I've kissed enough frogs, and I want commitment with someone -- a lifelong partnership. I want to grow old together with someone who is WORTHY of me and my love. I know I have so much to give, so much love within me. I've just chosen ALL the wrong partners.

One psychic told me years ago that my life lesson is discernment. I now understand what that means. I have not been discerning enough in my life. I usually go for any guy who shows an interest in ME, rather than looking at THEM for who THEY ARE. It's like I have lacked confidence in myself or something. But I now know, since I am older, more experienced, and more mature, how much I truly DO have to offer someone. I feel much more confident in who I am.... and all the beauty inside of me that exists. I feel pretty good about myself, for the most part, despite some bad days or bad moments.

SO, NO MORE SETTLING for less than what I deserve!!!!!! Discernment is going to be my motto -- I will check out someone's character FIRST, before committing any emotional attachment to someone. I want to see who they are inside and how they treat other people... AND animals. I want to see if they have compassion, if they are a good person inside, and if they are WORTHY. Are they respectful towards me? Are they respectful towards others? Are they a decent human being.. loving and kind?

All of the above I will apply next go around. No more frogs!!!! I am SO done with that crap. I'd rather be alone than settle for less.

Oh! And also! I finally read my ex's last note to me that he had written a week ago, that I never read because i knew it would be abusive and hurtful, which it was. I had written on this forum we're on that I am dating other men now (after the breakup) and that i had kissed a guy. So what does my ex say to me about this? Tells me I am a slut, that I am permiscuous and trashy. All because I simply kissed one guy after the breakup and DESPITE being 100% faithful to him while we were together. What an A-hole. I did not deserve that. Sure, I wanted to make him mad by making that known, & I know it was a reactive emotional response on my part, but still... his reaction was uncalled for and derogatory. He had to trash ME in response.

Single woman kissed a guy and that made her promiscuous and trashy. Yeah ok now. He knows you aren’t trashy, he just has to say crap. What did he think? You gonna sit here all alone moping?. Nope. Moving on!

You have another proof that he is good for nothing. Enjoy your good life without this kind of nonsense.

IN FULL AGREEMENT! I did NOT deserve that. What an ***!!! And thank you.

Psychic Purple predicts....

For the beautiful golden lady....

Some VERY exciting things...

And MUCH SOONER than she THINKS.

Big hugs, Eve.

Awwwww, Purple, you're the BEST!!!! SO uplifting! Thank you, kindly. BIG HUGS!!!!

No, you are uplifting...

Awwwww, warm fuzzies! =)

He revealed a whole more bunch of nasties about himself in that word choice he directed to you - it says way more about him than you.

I am glad you are done with the psychics - and I agree with PVB's prediction.

Through my recovery, I am now realizing that I was abused, emotionally and verbally. Every time we broke up, which was several times whereby I threatened to kick him out, he became verbally abusive, calling me nasty names, swearing at me, yelling at me, etc.... he has told me I am trash, slutty, etc..... he has called me psycho when I confronted him on his lies.

WOW. It is really hitting me HARD how abused I was in this relationship, on top of all the lying and the possible emotional cheating, let alone using me for my money and taking full advantage of my good heart and generosity.

And the fact of the matter is, that I've gotten involved in several abusive relationships at this stage in my life -- not all were abusive, some were healthy and normal, but many were not.

My lesson is to learn how to AVOID these types in the future, and to not be so needy for love that I am willing to accept just any person who shows an interest.

I know what I did wrong this last time. I was on the rebound from the last relationship and wanted true love. I was not truly in love with the person before him.

I need to stand on my own two feet now and be patient for the RIGHT person to come along.

Sure, I can date casually and probably will because I certainly want to have fun and don't want to sit in my house alone all the time..... so I will get out and meet new people but I will NOT jump into just ANY relationship. This has been my mistake in the past.

Well no more. Time to learn the lessons and apply them now.

Thank you, Sprout, and I agree with you! It says a LOT about who he is as a person, and he is a nasty person.

I am done with the psychics, but honestly? They have helped me tremendously in my recovery. They gave me great insights to piece everything together, so I am going to look at it as money well spent on my recovery process.

And thanks.... I believe good things ARE coming my way!!! I am going to learn the lesson now, like I just wrote above.

I completely understand how you feel. I'm constantly wishing I could get revenge on my ex and his new gf for all the pain they caused me and awful things they said to me. The best advice I can give from my experience is keep yourself busy. When I'm busy, I don't think of my ex. When I do things for myself that make me feel good, I start to feel better. Also these thoughts will subside so know it's just temporary. You'll come to accept that it's not worth it to waste your time on someone who wasn't deserving of your love. The best revenge is living your life to the fullest and being successful.

Everything you stated sounds so much like my past relationship. I'm just coming to accept years later I was emotionally abused and taken advantage of. I totally get what you're going through. Sometimes it helps to try and look at the positive which is that you will for sure know to not put up with that kind of disrespect in future relationships. You should be happy and proud of yourself that you put your foot down and are no longer willing to indulge his awful behavior. Know that you weren't at fault ever in this relationship and that one day karma will hit him hard. Guys like that never end up in a good, happy and healthy relationship. -Hugs- hope that everything goes well for you

In order to stop our mistakes we need to analyze why we made the mistakes in the first place so we can catch ourselves before we make the mistake again, not looking back afterward. Learning the DISCERNMENT you talked about is key. Not being so desperate at not wanting to be alone that you settle for anyone who shows interest in you is key in this discernment process.

You will probably have to write off the money you gave to your ex as a learning experience just like the money spent on the psychics. It made you feel good helping him or you would have stopped doing that long before you finally did. The money you spent on the psychics made you feel better about yourself.

NOW you need to internalize ALL of these experiences & KNOW who you are & what you WANT from your life & take control instead of being controlled emotionally by those around you.....be it BF or psychics making you feel good about yourself. It needs to come from WITHIN YOURSELF. From what you have written here, it sounds like this is actually the growing pains you are going through right now even more that just the process of getting over your ex.

thank you so much.....

karma will definitely get him one day... I will definitely be sure to not go through a disrespectful relationship again.

Agreed. I am trying to learn from this. I believe I am much more confident than I was, so I don't need to look for love to feel good about myself. I already feel good about myself (for the most part), except for the fact that I'm living with my parents, but that's temporary.

Yeah, keeping busy helps a lot. That was my problem over the last couple weeks since my breakup. I was CONSUMED by my rage, to the point where I couldn't see straight and I couldn't think of anything else but HIM.

I am finally at a place mentally and emotionally now where I am detaching from him and my thoughts are starting to shift from him onto ME. Like what's next? What can I learn from this? And who cares what HE thinks or feels!

I am getting out a lot and am doing what i most enjoy, which is seeing live music, dancing and seeing my friends. This HELPS tremendously. When I am out, I don't really think of him and I am focused all on me, my friends and enjoying myself. This has been the only respite I've been able to get from my thoughts.

It's a process for sure, but I see improvements each day. And now, I feel much stronger for it. I know that NO CONTACT is the best policy. I've blocked him in every way, and this time, through the second breakup with him, I am not bombarding him with angry texts like I did the last time we broke up. I have let it be and have walked away.

I agree that the best revenge is living my life, being happy and being successful. I will get there.

thank you again.

i just wrote a blog entry on my happiness blog about verbal and emotional abuse. It was cathartic to write and to list out the abuse tactics as I did. I am hoping if the search engines pick it up, that it will help others.

I did not go out last night and felt a bit lonely. But I realized that I am far better off feeling lonely than I am being in an abusive relationship!!!!!

I am still processing through my emotions, but I keep coming back to the bigger picture of things... that he is a trainwreck in his own life, that this was NOT love, and that this was abuse.

Thank goodness I did not marry him!!!!!!! I truly dodged a BIG BULLET there. He probably would have ruined my life, and ME along with it.

Good on you, Eve. It's really a wonder, how you're turning this around

Awww, thanks Purple!!

been there done that & even after having left him 10 years ago he is still ruining my life. It was a miracle that I survived my sui attempts to finally get out....but financially irresponsible people are to be avoided at all costs from the beginning.

So happy you avoided the marriage committment to that loser....I know how thankful you feel.