o.k. guys, can you help me?

I am 58 years old, 115 pounds, take care of myself and love my hubby. We had a party at our house that was his dream to have with a band and all the trimmings. Friends we grew up with and friends from work and some family. My hubby is definitely in mid life crisis as I found out at the party. He very interested in a woman who works in the office (he is in the factory) and has been talking about her a lot. Well, at our party he was holding hands with her and danced with her. My hubby is not the touchable kind of guy, very much to himself,just he and I with the dancing and touching, so this was really a red light for me. I questioned him about her the next day after all the party was cleaned up, etc. so I would not embarrass him in front of anyone. His reaction was anger and screaming and yelling at me. He has been really nervous and testy for over a year, getting angry real easy, kind of going back to the past, like he wants to do the past over again. Things like the music. We both like rock, but he is now going nuts with it, buying cologne, worrying about his clothes like he never did before, I think worrying about his age and retirement coming. I love him with all my heart, but he is making me nuts!! Any suggestions from any of you that have been through this? Help!!!

I'm only 32 so I can't speak from experience. Instead I'll just say good luck and I hope things work out.

Cyran0

you should hang onto your own belief system, whatever it is, its got you thru this many years together... we all wander from time to time.. if you can be the anchor, maybe his ship will stop floating...

if yuou need more strength to hang on, rely on the things that have gotten you thru it all this far...

sometimes i rely on th Footprints prayer/poem

i'll post it if you dont jnow it...

Well, I'm 52 and I know a little bit about men, me being one.

Sounds like a midlife crisis or a little infatuation with another woman is happening. I say that because of his reaction. If it wasn't an interest (the woman) he wouldn't have held hands with her in front of you. IMO she must be pretty catty to do that in front of you, I don't care what anyone says. It's like look at me, wife, see what I'm doing and you can't stop me. I'm telling you something is going on. He could be wanting to recapture his youth, but that ship sailed long ago.

The man can't even be discreet about this so, I think you were right to say something. I wish you the best in the future, you have a big problem man on your hands.

I'm working real hard on this. The way things are right now, is , if he wants to get physical it's o.k., but he will turn his back on me. I am really getting tired of it, and wish he would talk to his doctor or make up his mind! I went to counseling and will go one more time. He would not go, and chose to talk to someone at work who told him to go talk to this woman and talk it out. I think this is wrong!!

i believe you're correct in thinking it's wrong... he should bring the issue directly to you for one on one discussion... during the talks you may want others opinions... that should be allowed, but only after the two of you have had face to face...

again, i believe its important you not lose YOUR sense of place...

it sounds as if the situation is in a point of upheaval, reaching a boiling point for you.. him? does he appear content? you are putting this before him to deal... is he mature enough?

if there is a huge gap between understanding... counselor is suggested... its not easy and both may experience extreme discomfort... but just going exhibits true desire to repair.. its never to late to repair...

if he is abusive... physically, different story...

hope you'll feel better

I think you need a woman's opinion...

Nope, I think you guys did just fine! I went to one of his male friends who is a really dear person, and his wife, and this man was at the party, thought my hubby was acting "not like normal", and is going to try to talk to him later on. Things are a little better, but I am not going to let anyone think I am crazy, or was just seeing things. There were too many signs, and we have a lot of love and time invested in this marriage that I am too stubborn to give up. I love this man with all my heart!! Thanks for the support, and you guys are all right in my book!!

I just read this post and I would agree that something is up. You love your husband.....you have many years invested in it....don't just sit by and let it fall apart.....he needs to deal with this situation in his life....he will regret it if he were to lose you....you seem like a caring and understanding wife....many others would of hit him upside the head and walked out......do what you have to do to get him to talk and realize he is playing with fire....us men sometimes....well ...ok ...ALL THE TIME....are hard headed...lol......Good Luck