am going to meet a new man

Just an observation but you flip flop back and forth about this wealthier man. First you like him, then you don’t, now you do. And you’ve related several things that are negative to you about him: self absorbed, kind of boring, talks about himself a lot.. you also express that you’re lonely. Don’t just take ANY man that comes along who shows an interest just because you’re lonely. Have some standards. And stick to them. Don’t convince yourself to date someone with unliikable traits just because they show interest. I personally think he sounds shallow, money obsessed and obnoxious.

Thank you for your input! I think I have gotten enough suggestions now. I know what to do. Thank you for your insight!

I am not bowled over by him but he is ok. I've met some nice guys long ago but never was interested in them. They had something else wrong with them that I did not like. May be, they were physically unappealing or something wrong with them which I could not overlook. I think you are right, I am just settling for some guy but he's better than the others I dated in the past.

I will take a chance with him and see where it goes. I don't like to serial date as I said. I will take the responsibility of knowing he has character flaws.


I don't know what he thinks about me but do know he is attracted to me. He also likes it when I just sit there and listen. I like him because he is interesting to listen to. He talks about his travels and his businesses and the women he has met. He is an open book. I like this rather than someone who is reticent and never says anything about himself. I know he is truthful. Yes, he is crass and may be crude somewhat. But, he is ok. If I had been infatuated with him and could not see any flaws in him, this would not be good either. I see him as he is. And, he likes me!! So, I think it is ok.


Well, thank you all!! Yes, my standards are not as high as before. But, I feel good with him!! I don't have to talk too much and he still enjoys being with me. I like being liked. His wealth has given him many experiences. So, now he wants to be with regular people. I am regular, I guess.

Yes, I met a scammer online which was bad!! You all got me out of that one fast. And, now, I've met this man who is ok!! Well, it is better than the man with the stroke who pretended to be a friend then demanded sex from me. What a cad!!

Let's say I don't have much luck with finding a good man. I have searched but the good men are taken at my age. That is a fact!! Hope you all have good men in your lives!

Best wishes to you!!

We chatted again and flirted with each other. He is doing well and so am I. He is sweet at times and funny. I don't think he is as absorbed anymore. He talks to me and responds to my questions. He laughs and we flirt with each other. He plans to take me out to lunch because I have to work early the next day. He wants to do something else afterwards and will see what we can do. I think he is ok and am beginning to like him as a person. He is attentive to my questions. He answers and has nothing to hide. I thought he was caught up with his work. He does seem to chill out and talk about other things too. He is not bad as a person. I will see how it goes and go from there. I have other matches on Bumble but have been ignoring them. Some of them say hi then ghost me. lol, why say hi then ghost me? I don't get it. I guess, they are popular and found someone else. But,the scammer was on there too. I realize if the pictures are too perfect and too glossy and if the person looks like he is posing for a glamour shot, then he is not real and probably a scammer. Also, the man I'm talking with said the same thing about the women's profiles that the scammers pics are too perfect. He has met other women on Bumble and they turned out to be working for businesses and bars. He met enough of them to know their game. He sometimes played their game then dumped them. So, he was skeptical about me initially but realized my pics look like me in reality. He was surprised but relieved that I am not a scammer nor working for some bar nor business. Yes, I'm just an ordinary woman with an ordinary job doing my ordinary thing. He likes this about me. I have the feeling he has been taken advantage by so many women, he was a bit jaded when he encountered me. I see that he wants an ordinary relationship without the drama. I'm ok with this if it ever develops into a relationship. I have to realize that his comments about the mental illness pertained to only one woman who was odd. Why would she tell him initially about having a mental illness and acting so funny with him? I would be taken aback too if someone did this to me. But, she was young he said. Well, there are mature young people also. I will see if he likes me for me, that is, as a person. Then, may be, I can tell him later and ask him if he has any weaknesses, then broach the subject. But, for now, all is well in our part of the world. Thank you all for your input and advice! It has helped me to sort out my feelings and realize that this man is not bad at all. I know that most of you didn't like what I said about him initially. But, he is not that bad! I'm getting to know him and so far it is turning out well and for the better.

I wish you all the luck!
You are a grown person so you can follow your guts and knowing him face to face is good to have all the information.

We have been hard with this guy but I guess we tried to look at him with detail and only through the information we got from you, just in case, he wasn’t the right one.

Pay attention to see if he also talks good about others. I see it as an important point. That’s say a lot from a person.

I will cross my fingers for you.

He is going to help his friend today move furniture. He and I saw each other again through video cam this morning. We had cam sex. I am happy. He is happy. The world is our oyster!! I think he really likes me as a woman. I like him too as a man. I wanted a friend who is a lover. And, he fits the bill. Today, I'm taking it easy and am thinking about him. We will meet in a few days again in person. Well, I think it will go well but have not told him about my illness yet because there is no need to do so for now. He and I are busy usually working. We might not be able to see each other that often after this week. But, I will try to make time if necessary. And, hopefully. he does too.

Well, he did not write me last night nor this morning. He did not accept my messages. lol, it is over!! It is ok! He must have met someone last night. Well, that was quick! I was wondering what we were going to do because he wanted sex he said. Well, he must have gotten it somewhere else. I feel fine! I am not hurt. I believe, I did the right thing. I let him go and blocked him.

Well, I am glad you are not hurt. That's good. But what do you mean he did not "accept" your messages? Did he block you? Or did he not reply?

And honestly, If someone is looking for actual physical sex during a pandemic, their head is not screwed on correctly. Caution is thrown to the wind, and concern for health is out the window, which says a lot about him.

Yes, he was not reading my messages. I blocked him afterwards because I realized he lost interest. I could have waited for his response, but I left a message turning him down to meet him again. I am glad it ended. I realize he was not really into me. This is ok! I'm glad he found someone else!

I hope you are coping well.
You will also find someone who deserves you. Take it as an experience to learn from. I know you can’t think about it now, take the time you need to heal.

Well, then. Seems you are taking it all in stride, and very well!

Make a list of the perfect man, the one who would meet all your needs and give you the life you want. Then dont waste time with the rest. You are all over the place, getting nowhere, constantly frustrated, coming up short, because you havent decided what you want. Are you careful about safe sex? I stated in an earlier post that I dont understand how you can be dating with the covid virus rampaging and more info about it's transmission being so unpredictable every day (5/2020). What are you thinking?! Seems like you are dating without any thought at all about what would make you happy for the long run. We have more control than every before over access to single men with the Internet, or better yet, clubs and organizations we enjoy. What are you thinking? Wake up , woman before you really get hurt. If you want to be a mistress, be one, but dont let it just happen.

Thank y'all for your input and advice. Yes, my mother never taught me to find a good man. When I had a bad marriage, she just blamed me for it. So, I've been searching for the one. The Muslim man and I are good friends. He supports me emotionally and mentally. He is good to me. He knows about my illness and reminds me to take care of myself. He is like father and friend. He is very attractive though. He plans to meet me one day, whenever that is. I like him for now. I have a lot on my plate now with work anyways. I need to focus on my job because it takes a lot out of me. I am happy with my life now although I don't have a man in person. We talk daily and he tells me to be independent and free. He was not happy I was dating men who wanted sex from me. He said if you don't need me, I will go. I thought about what he said and realized he likes me as a woman too. I guess, such is life. I like him too so it is not a worrisome point. He advises me and knows me and my family's dynamics well. He is understanding and supportive. I need him as a friend. I would miss him if he left me. He is separated but still married. He gives me much of his time and energy. He wants to come here and live too. Thus, I will see him eventually. He will come by himself. His family have their own lives. I don't expect marriage from him. For me, his support and friendship mean more to me than expecting marriage. I do like him. And, so it goes.

If I’ve learnt something is that it’s not good to rush into taking any decision, especially, when I’m in a vulnerable moment. It normally takes me to regret, hurt myself and hurt others.
In the same way, I don’t trust when someone is making me to make a choice before I’m ready or other different than my own pace.

Your muslim friend surely is a nice person but you need time to put your head in order. I saw you in the thread going back and forth in a rush, without following your head but your heart.

@Luvyoursel pointed out wise words for you.
Make this list of the man you want as a partner in life or as a friend. Don’t apart from these requirements unless you take your time to reflect on it.