Are people in your life extremely unsupportive during your hard times?

I called VR. My case there had been closed for years. In missouri, VR cases are closed after 90 days of successful employment that they placed you in. But the jobs I’ve gotten since then are independently applied for. And since I lost or left every one of them for the SAME reason, VR refused to open my case again.

And my job developer at Preferred family healthcare (on one of the links you posted btw), don’t see any hope in helping me further. Cuz she tried for years to get me to realize I’m a creepy stalker (she didn’t word it like that) to no avail. And she’s been helping me since I was 18.

But with my credentials on paper, I could get interview very easily. And with the labor shortage, it’s almost guaranteed every place I apply will interview me. Cuz I been 5 years there, 4 years another place, etc.

Ross and big lots previously required applicants to be 18 in order to be considered. Now they lowered it to 16. McDonald’s and other places that previously required 16 now lowered it to 15.

That’s why GM 2 older kids are working and the third one will start applying as soon as she turns 15 end of this year. I’m sure he would defend them to death if any of them gotten hurt at work or w/e. My parents just reiterated I’m a creepy stalker. I only behaved that way cuz I don’t understand human interaction. And the more they tried to explain concepts beyond nice and rude, the less I understand

It’s a cheap policy, yes. That’s why it’s good. Ambetter zero deductible and covering 100% cost of therapy. How much better can it get? That’s why I’m baffled that any provider won’t accept it

I do my DBT and Borderline workbooks now and then. I ordered from Amazon. But sometimes I have to take a short break cuz of trigger

Ruby, professionals usually don't accept specific insurance because reimbursement (what insurance will pay them) is low and/or the company takes too long to pay them. I've talked to therapist who have to wait as much as six months to get paid. The insurance might be good from your perspective, but not be good from the professional's perspective. I don't know many people who want to wait months to get paid.

When you were still with VR did you receive therapy for your "creepy stalker" (your term) behavior?

Yes. Nothing against those therapist but even when they explained nuances of human interaction, I still only grasped the most basic concepts: nice and rude.

Right after the Joplin tornado in 2011, I was shopping at Ashley furniture to furnish a new house after the one I lived in was gutted basically. I was inside with my folks but we all ended up unscathed cuz safe room. Anyway, an 8 year old boy who I never met in my life went up to me and gave me a giant hug.

Then went to hug the friend I was shopping with. I had friends back then believe it or not. His mom admonished him. My friend said, “it’s fine don’t worry about it.”

Little boy said he’s just being nice. The sales lady accompanying them went, “you ARE being nice.”

He clearly also can’t grasp concepts beyond nice and rude. I’m exactly like him but to a much lesser degree since I’m an adult. Hell, even 10 years ago in 2011, I was much lesser degree though I was just 22.

Point is, people want to do right and good. The way they go about it depends heavily on what they understand or not.

It’s the same in almost every state, they close the case in 90 days but if you aren’t employed full time and/or want to attend training/get education, you can contact them again. You are employed but not full time so you aren’t self sufficient and self supporting. Disability services work with you to get you to be self sufficient when possible

Never mind they said they refuse to work with you. That’s somewhat surprising. I am very familiar with vocational disability services in my state and I haven’t heard of such reasoning. You do keep your jobs for quite some time. Not like you hop jobs every month

You are now preoccupied with them hiring 15-year-olds. It’s not relevant to you so try to distract yourself as it takes away from issue at hand.

I have a nagging feeling that a 15 year old who displays my exact idolizing behavior might be appreciated. Cuz it might be normal at their age. Not relevant to my situation per se. Just trying hard to learn about part of human behavior that isn’t solely about good or bad.

Idk, you seem to have quite a thorough understanding of the nuances of human behavior, as you have reported them here. I am learning a lot from you. Plus you have a clear grasp of your motivations. I dont think i could explain my own actions as well as you do. Plus a lot of long words. Why dont you train for a real job instead of dealing with these children? Like in computer programming?

It’s been a trying week. To lighten things up, I’ll end on a lighthearted story.

Occasionally at work, I would stare blankly for extended time at the ceiling. Then I would point to it and slur, “pretty circle lights on black ceiling. Green and red.” I would proceed with a slap happy laugh of a crack head. “Black ceiling here white ceiling there.” Continue my crack head laugh.

It happens prolly around 5 times during the past 6 weeks. A few coworkers looked at me weird while I did this.

Need to have laughing moments to distract me from that GM. I’d prefer people don’t treat me like an actual crack head but you can’t control anyone.

Ruby, I agree with Unaluna. You are doing the wrong kind of work. I am disabled, and a business owner who employs disabled persons, and I wish that all businesses were inclusive or at least accommodating as I try to make my business, but unfortunately most are not. And especially for certain kinds of disabilities, certain kinds of work can be worse.

What is your education level? I see your writing vacillates between clear, articulate, and what I interpret at around an undergrad level and when you're upset/triggered I do see it devolves a bit (however, I'd say it's normal for people's capacity to diminish a bit when they are upset, so that's neither here nor there).

It seems like you have a computer at home. I wonder if there is opportunity for you to start with maybe a work from home data entry job or even in an office, data entry, where you aren't customer facing, don't have to deal too much with interpersonal stuff at work, and can be productive and successful.

Someone mentioned programming - there's definitely a lot more leeway for less developed social skills in computer programming than in customer facing jobs. Have you studied any computer programming? Is this of any interest to you?

What are you good at that maybe you'd like to do, besides work in food service or retail?

I don’t really know even though I have a bachelors degree. When I graduated in 2019, my GM was still treating me kindly, so I saw no need to pursue other opportunities back then.

They can’t give me 2 breaks without a doctors note. I explained to them multiple times not to put me back drive where there’s no distractions from thoughts of the GM. I told them I consequently end up with mental breakdowns throughout my shift at back drive.

They kept saying they’ll try not to put me there. And whenever Trent is working, he’s always back there, not me. But I’m still always back there when Trent is off. Cuz they kept reiterating I’m the best and most efficient.

I WAS the best and most efficient. But now, half the time I don’t even know whether my drawer is even closed or open, much less knowing other aspects of the job. They are extremely short on people all the time so it’s hard to give me the accommodation I need.

That means they’ll have to tolerate my breakdowns and outbursts without any consequences. I warned them multiple times.

I think I’m rehireable at Ross. They documented my departure as my seasonal position ended. I already applied Big Lots

What people are saying is that you should NOT be in a consumer based position where you have to work with people. Ross and big Lots you’ll have the same social problems you have now.

What is your bachelor's degree in?

I knew you are at the very least very capable of getting a college degree. Turns out you already have a degree. That is promising. There is zero wrong with working retail but unless you want to go into management, they usually don’t pay livable wages. Especially not if you are working part time. In addition these jobs just don’t seem like a good fit.

So do you say things like that on purpose to be funny or to get people pay attention to you? Are you surprised they looked at you weird?

Wow, does this really sound like a college grad? Something is seriously not making sense with this picture

Quote:

03-06-18, 03:19 PM #1 What percentage points should correspond with each letter grade? Honestly, it should be like A = 80-100% B = 60-79% C = 40-59% D = 20-39% F = 0-19% That way, things are equally distributed and thus more fair. And I'd pass a lot more classes that way (along with an increase in my GPA). Don't YOU think life would be a lot easier that way?

Just trying to be funny. Besides, I really like to coast through life as much as possible bc life isn’t easy

Not surprised and not exactly on purpose. I needed to somehow get myself to laugh so I don’t think about GM.

Remember the girl he greeted so warmly in the parking lot? I’ve always known she’s a hoe. If she wasn’t, her classmates wouldn’t have tormented her endlessly about being a hoe. Now she’s finishing her high school degree online.

She’s full of herself at work cuz whenever she’s nice and kind, she’s appreciated. Like last year when she told a department manager that she’s her favorite. I think one of my earlier post on this thread touched on this. I mean I’m nice and kind too. Maybe there’s a difference between how she treats the department manager and how I treated the GM. I feel there might be but I couldn’t put my finger on it.

Next time that girl gets on my nerves, should I remind her of her place? Or will that get me in trouble? I only wanted to say to remember she’s working day shift year round while her classmates are in school, and prolly also working.

To answer seesaw’s question, degree is in business (general).

I’m been full time at McDonald’s for 2 years (of my 3 years here). After I graduated, my availability became any day anytime. With labor shortage, I could get all the hours I want.

But I really don’t want many hours anymore. Luckily Ross and Big lots pay at least $12-$13 an hour and minimum wage in missouri is $10.30. Target pays $15 to start off.

M tried to call me in yesterday saying several people called in. How was I to know back drive Trent wasn’t among them? I told him I’m dealing with the aftermath of mental breakdown from previous night. I can’t.

Hell I don’t even want to work all my scheduled shift,

This is very mean, Ruby. Nice and kind people don't judge others like this. Do you remember asking about rules? Well I'm sure you've been told that calling people names is not nice.

No, it's not okay for you to remind her of her past.

This is another reason why people don't want to be around you. I'm guessing that your judgments and attitude about others isn't something you really hide well.

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I was consistently nice and kind for my first 3 years at this McDonald’s store. I got consistently good results up until one day, the GM who transferred came into my store for supplies and kept a GREAT distance from me and only from me. Before I was mean to anyone. Now I felt abandoned by yet another person. I kinda understand a little where I went wrong but I didn’t understand at all back then.

I’m actually trying hard AF to not be rude. Sometimes I succeed and sometimes I slip a little. But being kind is no longer my second nature. I’m posting about this coworker in an strenuous attempt not to actually end up reminding her of her past

Coworker’s past or anything about her is actually not your business at all. How she is getting her diploma, online or in person is her business, no one else’s . Just focus on yourself and your own life

I really need to work on my jealousy of coworkers who doesn’t ever get the short end of the stick

You don't know what they get or don't get. You aren't living their lives. You have no clue the personal details of their lives. You don't know what's going on in her home, what's going on in her body, or her head. So, stop worrying about whatever someone else is doing and simply focus on yourself.