Are people in your life extremely unsupportive during your hard times?

Is it ASD to not understand human behavior beyond nice and rude, good and bad. The concept of distance and boundaries are too nuanced. That’s why animals don’t understand it either. Luckily for them, no one expects them to.

A flick of geese I was feeding got all aggressive demanding bread from me. When I couldn’t dispense the bread fast enough, one of them repeatedly pecked me hard on my shins. They follow me wherever I go in the park.

A human doing that would get arrested, after being decked in the face

Have you said you were diagnosed with ASD and BPD in an older post? I am trying to understand more about these diagnoses and how they affect you. It is interesting to see how both of these may be at play in your thoughts and behavior. (Though I feel for you in having these).


Naive question: When you apply for a new job, does the manager tell the new company about your problematic behavior at the old job? Do unsuspecting companies keep hiring problematic employees without a clue?


Although your behavior seem to be disruptive and stressful to you and everyone else at your job, it could be dangerous. Do new companies unknowingly hire dangerous, stalkers because the old manager is not allowed to reveal this important information?

Have you said you were diagnosed with ASD and BPD in an older post? I am trying to understand more about these diagnoses and how they affect you. It is interesting to see how both of these may be at play in your thoughts and behavior. (Though I feel for you in having these).

Naive question: When you apply for a new job, does the manager tell the new company about your problematic behavior at the old job? Do unsuspecting companies keep hiring problematic employees without a clue?

Although your behavior seem to be disruptive and stressful to you and everyone else at your job, it could be dangerous. Do new companies unknowingly hire dangerous, stalkers because the old manager is not allowed to reveal this important information?

If you quit instead of gotten canned, they kinda have to make you rehireable. Especially if you’ve given notice

That's not true, Ruby. If you quit you can still be deemed not eligible for rehire.

If you quit instead of gotten canned, they kinda have to make you rehireable. Especially if you’ve given notice.

My first time at McDonald’s was in 2009. It’s another store within the same franchise. When a coworker there flat out refused to be friends, I went beserk. By the time I quit, almost everyone there refused to associate with me at all. I was rude to everyone but her (10 times ruder than I am now, actually) and kept pestering her and bribing her with $$$ to be friends. Consequently, the work friends I had slowly stopped associating with me.

But the reason I quit May 2010 is because the GM scheduled me exactly ZERO hours per week for the past several weeks. She only called me in when she couldn’t get anyone else to come in, so I only ended up with average 5 hours per week during those several weeks.

But I had quit and gave my notice, so she listed me as rehireable. And here I am back at McDonald’s at the same franchise.

In hindsight, I believe I deserve what I got. Cuz I was rude AF to almost all my coworkers. Besides, pestering that girl is super annoying. Bribing her is super creepy. So is coming in on my days off to stare at her, willing her to talk to me.

But until recently, I hadn’t EVER been rude to anyone. Even when Sam’s club and Arby’s broke my heart into a million pieces I remained nice to everyone. Until yet another person trampled on my heart at my current job. Then I became mildly rude. And still am.

They don’t have to rehire you. No one is obligated to hire anyone else. They might rehire or might not regardless if you quit on your own or not. Having said that, it’s still better to leave of your own accord than be fired.

But wherever you go, there you are. Your troubles won’t end just because you go work elsewhere. Bottom line you just got to behave regardless where you are at. Job hopping isn’t a solution to work related issues.

Ruby, I'm not an advocate of masking or ABA therapy. I interact with too many Autism Advocates in my role as a patient advocate to support that. But the fact is these problems don't sound like ASD to me. Your fixation and infatuation with the GM is not about their behavior as a human and understanding that. Your fixation started well before they left the store. And your bad behavior all stems from this infatuation. You said you were diagnosed with BPD, and I think your issues arise out of that comorbidity. You seem prone to mood swings based on the behaviors of others, and that sounds like BPD to me, and the point is you need to follow up with a formal diagnosis so you can get the right help. You need professional help to help you navigate understanding which behaviors are appropriate for work and which are not.

You need to accept that understanding human behaviors takes time (for all of us) and in the meantime you simply need to behave. And also, some human behaviors you will never understand (that goes for all of us too) and you simply need to accept and move on.

Sent from my SM-N986U using Tapatalk

Yes, I believe Ruby said there are these two issues at play, which must be showing up in different behaviors. I’ll also add, Ruby, that your thoughts and behaviors seem to be not mild, not moderate, more severe on a scale for anyone who may also have the same diagnosis.

You have a series of issues at work, always the same fixation on the manager, problems with coworkers and customers, then on to the next job where you will do it again. Thankfully, you have not been a real danger to yourself or anyone else (physically), but it scares the wits out of me that someone could be and be able to keep going from job to job until something tragic happens.

Not quite relevant, but I’m curious what’s the minimum length of time you need to work for a single company to not be considered job hopping. Sam’s club kept me 5.5 years, so I’m guessing maybe you need to stick around at least 8-10 years to not be considered job hopping?

BPD and ASD is a tough combination. That’s why you must work with a professional regularly.

When you were diagnosed with BPD why didn’t they refer you to a therapist? I know people with BPD and ton with ASD but not in combination. People I know with BPD have extreme difficulty with keeping jobs and relationships.

Regular therapy is a paramount. You can’t do it on your own

I'm going through a really hard time given that yet another person who used to treat me kindly walked out on me. I took to Facebook retail and fast food workers group (the person who walked out on me was someone I worked with) and got ridiculed. Some gave good advice but most of the comments were ridicule and criticism. I'm glad to have gotten banned from that group.

One of the comments were, "He didn't walk out on you. He transferred." Well duh no sh;t. He transferred but he didn't walk out on my coworkers. He walked out on me. They're not the one he's ignoring when he stops by to borrow stuff. I'm here to complain about these very coworkers, most of whom are ridicule me just as much, to the point that I wish they would just ignore me more. I'm just grateful for the few that are sympathetic.

My GM transferred at the end of March. But he walked out on me 6 weeks ago (idk beginning of May). That was when my coworkers and shift managers started looking down on me. It started with them generally not wanting to associate with me. When they did, it was to point out how I was supposed to do my job or to falsely tell me that the GM stopped by just to see my reaction. They also rub in who has such good relationship with the GM just to see me hurt.

idk if I did anything wrong to not get the sympathy I desperately need. But I do know every single day for the past 6 weeks, I always mention the GM and how much it hurts that he walked out on me. I also bite people's head off but only when they get in my way. Don't forget that the day that GM walked out on me I cried in the restroom for half an hour, leaving my coworkers to pick up the slack.

I had only a brief respite during the past 6 weeks when a shift manager revealed to me that when asked, that GM denied ignoring me. I felt relief, but it only lasted a week because when he stopped by yet again, he ignored me. He responds when I try to talk to him, but on the scale on 1-10 with 10 being the most outgoing and friendly, he's always at least an 8 with my coworkers but barely a 2 with me. Every time he's here!

Are my colleagues so depraved that they couldn't even try to lift up someone who's hurting and falling apart? Instead, they tear her down even further. They're not the one he pushed away. And more importantly, they're not the ones who had so many people walk out on them like I had.

I worked with some of these people for 3 years. I was never quite normal. But the most they did was laugh it off as they continued to accept me...until 6 weeks ago. Did they change their attitude because I was going through hard times?

My primary therapist diagnosed me with BPD. Saw her regularly until she moved out of state. Now the only place that takes my insurance is all booked out few months down the road. And no amount of haggling and negotiating on my part got any other place to take my insurance,

“But it’s such a good policy! It’s zero deductible and I don’t pay a cent out of pocket for therapy.” Nope. They still won’t do it

My coworker Minion has borderline too. His manifestation is intense emotional feelings (and sometimes reactions to any little things) whether positive or negative. Good things make him elated. Bad things make him depressed AF. But Minion never attached to any particular person.

But I know other people with BPD may attach to someone in particular. Am I more severe among them? How is it possible to be severe without being rude? Confused