Are people in your life extremely unsupportive during your hard times?

I think that you should work on not worrying about who does what. I worked many jobs in my life, including retail and food service, and I never had the time to pay much attention to drama or office politics, so to speak. So you could and should be too busy to pay attention to all this. Focus on getting job done well

Everyone is definitely going through something. My grief and isolation is only one of the many problems people can possibly have in life. That said, the single greatest tragedy in life is to have literally having nobody caring about you.

Got chronic or acute illness? People have your back. Been in an accident? Death or illness of a loved one? Financial problems or living in poverty? Again, people have your back. That’s part of where so called human resilience comes from.

Abandoned constantly? Friendless and alone? Sorry bud, you’re on your own completely.

And should you also suffer the above tragedies, you’re screwed.

Besides, people are wired to connect and relate. It’s one of our innate drives.

I feel punished for it. It’s my problem really, cuz of my inability to understand.

On a side note, I made it through the whole day today without mental breakdown. I’ll remind my GM and all the department managers on duty. If I don’t get a tangible reward, I might at least get a verbal acknowledgment

I'll say it again: you have no clue what anyone is going through or what support they have or what they need.

This judgmental attitude that your pain is worse than all others is part of why people push you away. You seem to think your better than everyone else and that your suffering is more important than theirs. People don't appreciate that perspective. It's invalidating and hurtful.

Once again, you need to focus on yourself and not worry about other people's stuff.

I never said that

You said that the single greatest tragedy was your tragedy, and that what others suffer from chronic illness, etc., is not as bad as that. You judged that all those people with other kinds of problems, they get support, even though you do not know who gets what kind of support.

You don't have to SAY something for your attitude on it to be present.

It's present in how you spoke about this young woman and your manager in training.

And it puts people off.

Sorry I gave off the wrong vibe. I meant that bad things in life is more tolerable when people got your back

Me: I went the whole day without breaking down and snapping at people. And I picked up all the receipts off the floor
Department manager: good job. Keep it up for the next 150 work day.

Life is more tolerable with verbal acknowledgment for trying

Maybe in real life you don't feel like you have support, but I think this thread shows that there are many people out there that are willing to take the time to answer your posts and give you advice about how to improve your situation. That is definitely something.

I'm glad you had a good day at work and that it was acknowledged. Keep it up!

I will. And I’ll also keep being proactive in seeking out verbal acknowledgment like I did today. As in, “hey Homer, my replacement in back drive been late a few minutes and I didn’t get mad!”

I'm concerned that seeking out this kind of verbal acknowledgment is going to be problematic. Your managers likely don't understand your issues, and seeking out validation for not getting angry bc someone was a few minutes late is a little extreme.

I am just saying, this can be the kind of thing that pushes people away or makes them think you're weird.

I would suggest coming here and telling us your "wins" and we can cheer you on. Let them validate you when they notice it, versus you forcing it upon them.

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I totally agree with Seesaw.

The thing is that NORMAL people don't get verbal acknowledgments for being normal. What makes you think you are so special that you should get verbal acknowledgments for things that are just expected of normal people. That makes it sound like your unacceptable behavior is just an attention seeking ploy to get acknowledgments when you behave like normal people always behave. That just makes people dislike you more because they feel you are manipulating them.

You are not working there under any vocational rehab program or under any special program for disabled people. You were hired on to do the work of a normal person & behave like a normal person. Those "normal expectations" do not deserve
any special verbal acknowledgment. They should just be EXPECTED OUT OF YOU.

If you need to be treated special then you should be working through a program that specializes in the hiring of disabled people....otherwise you should be EXPECTED to behave like a normal person & not treated special for behaving normal

Ok I get that.

Being NORMAL takes great effort though. If I hadn’t ever felt traumatized, then NORMAL would be second nature. But I had so here I am.

Hey, I really get what an accomplishment it is to manage your emotions when they are overwhelming. I frequently tell my therapist of wins where I'm like "a year ago this would have totally sent me into a rage, and today it's just annoying." So I get it. But your boss and coworkers aren't there to validate your emotional wins.

But we are. So you can come here and tell us, and we will validate and celebrate your success in managing your emotions while at work.

I agree with this. I don't really know you, ruby but I read the posts here a lot. I don't post my comments either because I don't know your whole story and condition as much as the other posters here. What I'm sure of is that everyone here wants you to keep your job and have a stable life. I am on this website myself because I don't get the support here from people in real life.

I'm sorry things are tough. I'm also rooting for you and I hope you'll be able to cope with the challenges in your daily life.

A shift manager M was ringing up a customer ordering biscuits and gravy. We no longer sell those. They asked what other store had them and M started taking about stores in town possibly having them.

Customer said they from Oklahoma. I jumped in to say Vinita has biscuits and gravy. No acknowledgment not even a thank you from anyone, not even M. I doubled down and repeated myself louder and went, “DID YOU HEAR ME?!”

M tried to answer at that point and I ran crying to the back. I yelled all the way to the back, “I WAS BEING HELPFUL!! ACKNOWLEDGE ME. YOU’RE WELCOME!” When M caught up with me, I wailed “it be ******* easier to be normal if (GM) still cared about me. And he doesn’t even care about me!”

I requested to go home and got permission. This is ridiculous. It was agreed upon that I work 9:30-2 today. But M changed it to 6-9:30 cuz some girl called in. Like wtf that’s not my problem. Then when I got here, current GM said to stay til 11.

I can’t take change and surprises when HE doesn’t care about me. And I can’t even get into therapy for the next few months!

Quote:

Originally Posted by ruby2011 A shift manager M was ringing up a customer ordering biscuits and gravy. We no longer sell those. They asked what other store had them and M started taking about stores in town possibly having them. Customer said they from Oklahoma. I jumped in to say Vinita has biscuits and gravy. No acknowledgment not even a thank you from anyone, not even M. I doubled down and repeated myself louder and went, “DID YOU HEAR ME?!” M tried to answer at that point and I ran crying to the back. When M caught up with me, I wailed “it be ******* easier to be normal if (GM) still cared about me. And he doesn’t even care about me!” I requested to go home and got permission. This is ridiculous. It was agreed upon that I work 9:30-2 today. But M changed it to 6-9:30 cuz some girl called in. Like wtf that’s not my problem. Then when I got here, current GM said to stay til 11. I can’t take change and surprises when HE doesn’t care about me. And I can’t even get into therapy for the next few months!

Totally inappropriate behavior for the work place & whether the GM likes you or not is irrelevant. Appropriate behavior at work is required no matter what. Fast food stores don't need your kind of drama....totally inappropriate. Maybe you need to consider quitting until you can get into therapy & get help because you are doing no one any favors by staying. You are continuing to hurt yourself & bother the #@[[ out of the people you work with. You are behaving like a child & that behavior does not belong in any work place let alone one that deals with the public as customers.

Changes, surprises, and ANY amount of stress is intolerable to me. I’m constantly in fight or flight abs can’t help myself

What happened to not talking about him anymore at work? You acknowledged that you understand you damage his name every time you act like you had some kind of relationship when you didn't.

You work in fast food. You have to deal with shift changes. You're right it's not your problem, but if your boss changes your shift then that is your problem. And you need to behave like an adult about it.

He will never care about you, so you need to get over that and do your work.

If it’s 100% certain he’ll never care about me, there’s no point in me being here anymore. I’m quitting as soon as I get a chance. And I’m applying elsewhere now

Quote:

Originally Posted by ruby2011 If it’s 100% certain he’ll never care about me, there’s no point in me being here anymore. I’m quitting as soon as I get a chance. And I’m applying elsewhere now

It won't be any different anywhere else you go. You will find someone you want to attach to & when they get fed up with your behavior & either leave or ignore you because of your inappropriate behavior it will be the same thing all over again. Maybe you just need to quit until you get therapy & can fix your broken thinking & behaviors. The way you are now, you don't belong working in fast food at all

Quote:

Originally Posted by ruby2011 Changes, surprises, and ANY amount of stress is intolerable to me. I’m constantly in fight or flight abs can’t help myself

Then you definitely don't belong working at a fast food store

I have zero energy. Spent them all trying to process my grief and depression, leaving me with zero ability to handle any stress.

Quick question.

I had 3 major outbursts in the past week and a half. District manager had a talk with me right after my first outburst. Two more outbursts followed, including the one today.

If I don’t quit, do I have ANY chance of not being fired?

I need to know so I could make a decision

Quote:

Originally Posted by ruby2011 Quick question. I had 3 major outbursts in the past week and a half. District manager had a talk with me right after my first outburst. Two more outbursts followed, including the one today. If I don’t quit, do I have ANY chance of not being fired? I need to know so I could make a decision

Talk with your own manager about this. I am not going to assume or second guess any decisions they may make. It is your responsibility to discuss this with your own management. That would be the adult & mature thing to do.

We were short staffed today and she refused to drop everything and give me 3 minutes of her time. That is after she said if I need to talk to her, i could. Hypocrite