I let him back in and now I am kicking myself #2

Yeah that sounds like absolute last resort - you don't need any more ties to him. When we moved we had a hard time finding a decent place that allowed cats but it was out of the question to give them up. Perhaps your mother could get permission to have the cat for a short term though (like a year)? Sometimes stratas or landlords will allow this.


Anyway just suggestions. I really wish I could give you the financial means to just take some time off - you deserve it. As for fundraisers they are usually for a specific thing, like moving expenses, rather than general expenses. I've held 3 fundraisers for others, and one was held for me after a fire. I personally don't see it as "begging" but some do hold that opinion. Let's hope they are never in a position to need to ask for help.

Making a fundraiser for a specific issue is a good suggestion. For example you found a cheaper place or moving with your mom but have no money for movers, or you need money for a vet visit for a pet or got to buy medication and have no health insurance. Maybe like my rent is due and I can’t pay it next month? I think go fund me is always for a specific thing.

Sometimes we have no choice but to cut back on what we can.

Yeah, I think making the gofundme specific to helping me pay my rent and bills is best.

I really have cut back financially - I never eat out, I hardly go out except here and there, and I mainly spend money on necessary items like food and cat food, gas etc. I am doing my best.

You need to specify re “pay my bills”. What bills. Specify gas, electric? If you say bills it could mean credit card bills which could be all debt accumulated over time due to buying things you didn’t have to buy. If somebody told me my pay my bills I’d not be sure what to think. But help me with electric bills or my electricity is due to be turned off tomorrow, it would be a very different story. Or just simply state your lease isn’t up but owner raised rent and you lost your job and can’t pay your rent. Specify what exact amount you are short for paying monthly rent next month.

I also recommend you call your utilities and tell them you lost your job and see what assistance they might offer. Cancel your cable. You don’t need it now. Gas and electric are expensive so maybe they have a plan to help with a bill

Food bank. They have decent grocery selection. That would eliminate need shopping for groceries while you are unemployed

Thanks.. I am asking certain friends about this and what they think of my doing this.

I have already tried payment plans with utilities. I am not cancelling cable. I live for my movies and TV since it's pretty much how I spend most my time these days.

I only threw out the idea of a fundraiser because I am thinking of it. But I really don't like people getting involved in my finances to this level of detail. It''s not my preference. Let's move on from my finances...

Yeah, finances can be pretty personal. I for instance take issue with others (such as my mother) telling me what is essential. For instance if you restrict spending to the point where you feel like you have no life, that isn't worth it. The books I've read about finances advise to always give yourself an entertainment budget. Also many people's debt is not due to frivolities but to making rent, buying food and clothes, and so on. Rents are ridiculous in my city and for your rent to be 1/3 of your income you would have to earn far more than most people.


I hope you can find a decent job soon. Then you can focus on getting somewhere with cheaper rent.

Agreed, and thanks. I agree on having an entertainment budget. Rents where I live are ridiculous too.

I am talking to a career counselor/coach today for a free 15-minute consultation. I decided I will pay for one session with her, if she determines she can help me. I've also sent her my resume for a free assessment.

I've decided to not lie on my resume anymore and to tell the truth about my last job, if I am directly asked about the circumstances surrounding my layoff. I read up on what happens if you lie and get caught. It's not worth it. If they discover lies, you can get turned down for employment, even after a formal offer, or fired later on. One employer already discovered my lie and turned me down after 1 interview.

And, my concern is with the employment background checks that employers frequently perform after an offer is given out. They can find lies that way.

So I removed the fabricated achievements from my resume and left that spot blank under my last position. So, it appears now as though I didn't achieve anything in the last year.

I have an interview with a freelance company next week. Thankfully, they didn't ask me to upload a resume to their system. They only asked for a link to my LinkedIn profile. So, that's easy enough to fix. Thank goodness I didn't have to upload a resume.

I am scared. Like really really scared.

AND, IF by chance I DO get an interview based on my recent resume that had lies in it, I will have to turn it down. I can't proceed with any lies I've submitted so far.

It’s normal to feel scared and nervous :hug all we can do is hope that our resume is good enough they are hiring you not your resume. Good luck

Thank you....let's hope!

Your

The career coach I spoke with yesterday told me that larger corporations are postponing hiring right now due to a potentially looming recession. She also said that the smaller companies are hiring gig people, or freelancers, to save money, and in my field in particular. So perhaps THIS is why I haven't heard back in a single application in the last 2 weeks?

She also gave me great advice about how to handle discussions with interviewers about my last job and what happened there. I liked the angle she came up with for me.

I am having my resume redone & professionally written. For the coaching and resume work combined, I didn't really have to pay a lot of $. It's all worth it to me to spend some money to help me in my career.

I have to see my husband tomorrow, who has a pair of earrings for me. He is dropping them off after work. He bought them for me when we were last together because I had lost mine at the store. This is a sore spot. Now I have to pay him for the earrings because I don't want him buying them for me when we are divorcing.

The divorce hearing is just one week away - next Tuesday. I feel SO weird... like this is all very surreal for me. I had a dream this morning that I was in love with another man - a new man. He also had brown hair and brown eyes, like my husband. I woke up feeling good from that dream. It was a nice dream. Then I woke up to reality. UGH.

Good plan to have professionally written resume. That should be helpful. It’s worth the money

As about earrings. I’d ask him to drop it off by the door or mailbox or some other location. He also has an option of returning the item in the store or online. He could return earrings. This is just another excuse for him to meet up. Are these earrings expensive? Unless you asked him to buy them, I’d not be paying him. You also don’t have to have these earrings from him. Unless these are heirloom items you left in his house, I’d not be meeting up over earrings.

It quite possible as to why no one has called to ask for interviews. It does sound like you’ve have a great plan. I’m sorry that you lost your earring and worrying about paying your ex for the new earring and your divorce. Sometime we just have romantic dreams.

I'd like to have the earrings, so I don't mind. It's an expense, but whatever... I did lose a very special handmade pair that this pair is replacing. And, I will see him tomorrow. I've decided that I want to be on good terms with him, or as best as we can be. I will run into him socially, and I don't want that to be awful for us, or anyone around us.

And yes, it's good to get a resume rewrite, I think, and a professional's input on my current resume.

Wow, the rewritten resume came back to me a complete mess. What a waste! Guess you get what you pay for. My current resume is SO much better than the one produced for me. I am appalled. It's as though someone took all the info from my current resume and threw up onto a piece of paper, scattering the information non sensibly all over the place. There is no order or cohesion to it. Unbelievable.

Could you ask why they made it like that?

I will ask. Stupidly, I replied to an ad on a career website for a free resume rewrite by professionals. Not really professional!

Nowadays they make what they call a functional resume. Its not just a listing of your jobs most recent to teenage.

Well yeah that makes sense, and who needs every job listed, but i just thought Hope said it looked messy all over the page. Not sure. I saw some weird looking resumes though

It is all over the place. The resume makes no sense. It's jumbled.

Is it the issue with formatting? Not formatted right? How did they jumble it? There are some weird type of resume styles (functional as unaluna said) that intend to hide that the person had many job changes and gaps by not making it chronological. Is it focusing on skills and talents and certificates/trainings rather than the job you had. Does it look like that’s what they tried yo do? They obviously didn’t do it well. I’d pay someone to do it

Formatting yes - they placed together my accomplishments and job responsibilities in bullet pointed format underneath each job, but not in order so it's all jumbled together & difficult to discern. Same as at the top - they placed various job titles at the top that I may want, along with a few accomplishments, altogether in one space so it's jumbled too and doesn't make sense. It just doesn't even look good. Like messy, like an 18-year old threw it together without any thought or design.

I reworked my entire resume myself yesterday, following the design of a colleague's resume that really stands apart and reads well. So, I reformatted my entire resume and I think it looks far better than the one I paid for professionally.

I hope you get a new job quickly, Hope


I'm surprised about the resume (here they are CV's although don't ask me how to spell what it stands for! curriculum vetae or vitae or something idk how to spell the second word