I let him back in and now I am kicking myself #2

Companies are slowing down hiring right now. I haven't had an interview in a week and a half and zero responses to my recent applications. I am very discouraged. I have a meeting with a freelance company next week though.

Wow! Sorry to hear that.

Good job. It sounds like you are being proactive and doing what you can. The rest is up to circumstances beyond your control so I hope you can let go of a bit of the anxiety of it. Seems like for most of the people I talk to, it takes a few months to find a new job. You don't want to take something that isn't a good fit. I am sending you best hopes and wishes!

It sounds awful. Glad you reworked it.

Economy is in the dumpster. Smart move about freelancing!

A recruiter I spoke with yesterday says my new version looks really good.

We're not in a recession YET, but this career counselor told me companies are holding off on hiring due to a potential recession. Just awesome.

I saw my husband after work yesterday. He came by to drop off the earrings. More begging and pleading and more tears from him.

He tells me other women are interested in dating him and that his friends want to set him up. He says he told me this because he tells his friends that I am on his mind and that he cannot date anyone, but I think he told me this to try to make me jealous.

He also told me his friends think he should turn his back on me for X,Y, and Z reasons, or for what I've done to him. I can only imagine what he's told them. Love how he's the victim now.

Then he tells me I should not have taken any money from him. And I WISH I had thought of a good comeback. I can never think of what to say in the moment. I SHOULD have said, well, what's truly wrong is that I bought a 2K chair for you that you don't even now use!! I could use that money, it was my savings, and now I don't have it. I should have said THAT to him. And the money he gave me is hardly anything, and is not the 1K I asked for when I asked him to split the cost of the chair with me.

Yeah, so it was wrong of me to take money from him when I'm divorcing him, and it's also wrong that I now have a pair of earrings he bought me as well. Ok, well, it was wrong that I paid $8,000 for our entire wedding and honeymoon, with NO help from him, and it's wrong that he doesn't even use the expensive chair I bought for his back.

I hate how he makes me feel, and I hate how he's playing victim. He keeps telling me he doesn't care what his friends and family think, and that he has his own mind and will make his own decisions.

Hypothetically, IF I did get back together with him, his entire group of friends would be against me and so would his family. He has set it up that way.

I hate saying I told you so but really you just need to stop meeting with him.

You can still be civil and cordial if you run into him socially. Him saying his friends plan on setting him on dates was to get you jealous. No one would say it to a spouse they are divorcing for any other reason but to hurt them. Why is ge talking about his friends and what they said. Who cares about his friends. What’s he in a middle school?

Trust me he uses the chair. He just likes to be dramatic

What money did you take from him? If you did take any, it’s not enough. He still owes you!

He gave me a total of $350 recently, which I used on groceries and bills.

I agree - I think it was said to make me jealous. He even told me about a woman at a party last weekend who was interested in him.

He IS trying to hurt me, in any way that he can.

Oh boo hoo he gave you $350. He made it sound like he gave a fortune. You should have told him “thanks I’ll subtract it from those 4k you owe me for the wedding and honeymoon”. “Women are interested in you? Great. You can finally leave me alone!”

The finalizing of your divorce won't stop him from trying to pressure, manipulate, upset, hurt, and argue with you.

He will keep finding reasons to try to get at you, for as long as you give him the chance.

I agree. Comparatively speaking, $350 is short money compared to what I've spent on him.

I didn't realize this, but our divorce still won't be finalized for months to come. The upcoming court hearing next week is not the final divorce. I guess a determination will be made 30 days later, in which case I will be notified by mail, and then the divorce will finalize 90 days after that, or so I've read on how it works in my state.

And I agree with you, Bill. I need to stop communicating with him. He is doing all the above -- what bothers me the most is him trying to hurt me.

Yes official divorce does not stop nonsense at all.

The only way to stop nonsense is to stop meeting and talking. When run into each in public, it’s perfectly fine to greet each other politely and quickly move on. Don’t equate civility and politeness with having to talk and meet all the time. You can remain amicable and civil and not engage in any of these endless emailing, texting, calling, arguing and meeting.

He loves to argue. He’ll find the reason to keep doing it after divorce too. It doesn’t really matter when the divorce is final. You aren’t together so that’s good enough reason to cut him off.

You're right. I will have to cut him off again. And he does love to argue.

What's pissing me off right now is his little trick worked. Him telling me how women are interested in him and how his friends want to set him up only just irks me. It doesn't make me jealous but it's irksome - it's kind of like throwing it in my face kind of thing. I told him his friends who are trying to set him up are lacking class. We're not even divorced and they want to set him up with a new gf?

I am going out of town with a guy tonight. Not overnight. He's picking me up, then we're picking up another male friend, and the 3 of us will travel to the Cape for music tonight, a favorite band of mine. I think he's interested in me... a little bit? We will get to know each other better on the ride. It will be just the 2 of us, for a total of 2 hours. I am happy about this. I like this guys' energy - he's super mellow and super cool. So, this will be an adventure, and I am looking forward to it.

Just don't end up on Lester Holt or Keith Williams.

LOL. I won't.

Um, something is happening between this guy and I. I've known him only a few weeks and we've been hanging out a bit and getting to know each other better. I had a total blast going out of town with he and his best buddy last night. We had SO much fun!!! I like his energy - I mentioned this before. But he seems very relaxed and laid back. Just my style. And sweet. Hopefully he doesn't turn out to be an a-hole. I have my alerts up. I said I wasn't going to date, but I kind of just met him and we meshed and are attracted to each other. We shall see.. he's single and lives about 2.5 hours from me. And we talked about going skiing, which I will likely do with him. I'm excited.

My husband dropped off flowers the other day, while I was out. He left them at my door. And now he's trying to convince me to get together again before our court date on Tues. I know I know... you're going to tell me to block him & stop talking to him. He doesn't know anything about me and this other guy... and I will not be telling him anything. I will block him again when it comes to that point again.

He also gave me $250 last night, on his own initiative. I gave it back to him this morning, realizing that IF I keep accepting money from him, I will be beholden to him and will be obligated to keep the lines of communication open. It gives him rights and access to me that I don't want.

As it is, the other night he was arguing that if I don't want to get back together with him, that I shouldn't take money from him. He was scolding me, then took it all back when I pointed out he was scolding me. So, I just won't take any money then.

Court date is right around the corner.

“My husband dropped off flowers the other day, while I was out. He left them at my door.
Court date is right around the corner.”

I’m sure you recognize how atypical this is for a couple about to be divorcing. How do you feel about this?

I don't think it's that atypical, especially for a love bombing abuser. He has been love bombing me for the last 2-3 months. None of his behavior is normal or rational behavior. So it makes perfect sense to me that even in the final hours, he's still trying to get me to change my mind.

I don't really know how I feel. I just want all of it to be over.

I'm freaking out. I have an interview with a freelancing company tomorrow, and I am praying that none of my lies were uploaded into their online system.

They only asked for a LinkedIn profile link and no resume. I don't recall my LinkedIn profile or LI resume being uploaded to their system. IF it were uploaded, then the previous lies from my profile would be present in their online system. IF it wasn't uploaded, just my LinkedIn link would be in their online system, with no lies since I've corrected my LI profile.

UGH. This is what lying will do to you. This is the only opportunity in front of me right now, and if I screw this up, I am going to be really upset.

Just tell them thats the wrong one, if they have the wrong one. It was just an exercise that got mistakenly uploaded and you loaded the correct version as soon as you realized. This happens all the time in computers. Thats how wrong college acceptance letters get sent out.