Why did all my new friends start ignoring me? Are they jealous?

It's possible that these women were just being polite and not actually interested in meeting up with you, or they may have had their own personal reasons for not following through, but it's important to remember that everyone has their own priorities and interests and it's not always a reflection on you.

Yes there’s definitely lots of variables, and I do think I was very lucky to meet such lovely friends. I did a lot of volunteering with several organisations (basically to build my confidence which was low) and met lots of different people, most of them friendly and nice but only some of them were open to friendship, and even then not all of them were compatible. Because I had no friends I was quite happy just to volunteer alongside people, the social contact was pleasant for me. The friends I did make came after around 4 years so it wasn’t a quick thing,

We’re all different but I personally would find the scenario you describe OP of women sitting around talking (about themselves or indeed myself), quite stressful, I prefer an activity of some sorts, it feels less intense to me, takes the pressure off (I’m not an extrovert at all). Volunteering or sports clubs have worked well for me, if not friendships but pleasant low level sociability. If that makes sense!

If they were being ‘polite’, then why would they have met me more than once? It’s ridiculous to tell people lies to spare their feelings as the truth will come our eventually, lol.

One lady hung out with me for months now hen blocked me on Instagram after telling me on a text that she was thinking about me & that she couldn’t wait to see my pics. Right!

Anyone who knows me, knows I love to cite sources. :P

Toxic People: 12 Things They Do and How to Deal with Them - Hey Sigmund


Again, my belief is that anyone who uses the 100% lame excuse, "it's not you, it's me," is trying to escape being held accountable for their actions. If people were just more emotionally mature enough to communicate how they feel with each other, then this lame excuse wouldn't be used as an emotional shield, per se, to deflect the other person's emotional response.

i.e. the OP's situation about her sharing her Spain vacation photos. That was a cool trip and she shared it with this group of women acquaintances online, whom she's also spent time with in person.

Instead of congratulating the OP on her vacation and commenting on the photos, and reciprocating the OP's efforts to maintain their connection to the OP, these women just basically ghosted the OP without any context. So, yeah, it is about them not prioritizing the OP's feelings or expression of joy at finally taking a great vacation after the horrible 3-year long pandemic that Covid-19 was.

OP, if you're still reading...those women aren't good friends. They're just 1/2 invested in their connection to you. It sounds like you realized this and lowered your expectations (which is the best response).

Keep trying to find women to befriend. Women friendships are so good for our soul. It's hard because at our age (the 50s), most women have etched out their lives and aren't emotionally available anymore to other women friendships. At least that's been my experience (sorry for my projection).

Weird! I tend to attract these nasty selfish types for some reason! I don’t understand how other people cant see what they did was wrong & just brushed it off to personality differences like blocking someone for sharing pics is no big deal. I doubt they’d feel the same way if this happened to them.

Sorry to hear about what happened to you? Do you mind telling me what your similar experiences been like? Did you get any bad vibes from these people like I did but ignore your gut feeling at first? I did.

This site is great. Everyone is so supportive, kind, understanding, helpful, wise, honest and respectful of sny differences unlike the rest of the internet. It’s great that there are no trolls or bullies on here too.

Anyways, it is immature jr. high behavior m. I should’ve known better thsn to associate with her after she kept on talking sboit h.s & people from h.s. Obviously her best days are behind her now, lol.

About gaslighting people, that’s so true! If the same thing happened to the gaslighter, they’d be upset with anyone who dated to blame them for their problems, lol!

A lot of people ate hypocrites it seems like. Before long no one will be talking to each other maybe. People will just sit there & be on their phone which is a scary thought!

I don’t understand why you even had issues with making & keeping friends as you seem like you’re a kind, genuine, intelligent, well spoken & compassionate person.

I’ll never understand people. I’m in the dame biar as you. I don’t have any kids either. It’s even harder to relate to most women who have kids.

That’s great that doing volunteer work helped you make some new friends. I’m the opposite of you, I like derp one on one discussions or discussions about stuff we’re both into.

snip:

This isn’t the same as saying it’s your fault btw, sometimes we unknowingly end up with the wrong people because it can feel familiar to us sometimes to do with our family of origin.

Oh we’re not that dissimilar, I do like deeper one to one discussion with the right people, and I can count on one hand the number I do have that closeness with. It took a long time to develop that closeness though and the activity based approach was a good way to be social and get to slowly know people.

I’m reading the situation you’re describing as a friendship group cultivated online with in person meet ups is that right? You sound like you have a pretty good insight into the behaviour of these people, but that you feel that you have a general issue with attracting this sort of self obsessed person? I’m wondering if you feel a change of approach might help you. This isn’t the same as saying it’s your fault btw, sometimes we unknowingly end up with the wrong people because it can feel familiar to us sometimes to do with our family of origin.

It’s good that you are not staying in situations where you feel disrespected.

When I talked about change of approach it’s not really for me to say what that might be, your situation is unique to you and only you know whether there’s something needs to change in how you meet people. Good luck and hope you do make some more reciprocal friendships.

Sorry for the slow response. I have fibromyalgia, knee issues, back pain & I’ve been busy lately too. It takes me more time than most people to do what I need to do usually, ugh.

I didn’t forget about you or this thread. Anyways, thst lady who helped you with your phone was weird! Those socks were a warning sign, lol 😆

And that other women who showed you cat pics was also weird. Obviously all she cared abour was herself. She couldn’t even listen to you for 30 seconds! Rude!

Maybe we’re both to nice for our own good at times. I’ve had it with selfish people. I blocked & deleted their numbers. They were probably all jealous of me.

I already met a few mire women who seem like thet might be a better fit for me. Unfortunately they sll talked a out themselves mostly but they didvask me a few questions.

And they actually have interesting things to say & they have lots of information to offer as well. At kesst thet don’t go on & on about the same old boring crap sll the time!

I think I might have been bloen off again as there have already been 3 family issues thst came up with 3 of them at once, lol 😆

Just my luck! Is that becoming the latest excuse to use these days? That & having family members die right after meeting them? lol 😆. It’s not funny if it is true though. If it isn’t, then that’s ridiculous thst they’d use such extreme excuses. lol 😆

Thanks. I will no longer tolerate ANY disrespect! I recently told the mooch I talked about in another thread that it’s inappropriate to expect people to pay for her stuff all the time. And snd I called her out on her lies to my people pleaser friend too.

She thanked me for my honesty then blocked me later, lol. My friend finally stopped talking to her too.

I’m sure thar I’ll probably tell someone else off to their face sooner or later if they end up upsetting me. I have REALLY had it with rude selfish people! LOL!!!! 😆

Sorry you have been in such pain. 😔

The woman who helped me pick a phone was the same one who sent me cat pictures and wore socks that said “bad b i t c h”. I thought how could a giving person like her wear those?! I was going to delete the pictures of her cats but am keeping them. That’s because I love cats and it’s also a reminder to be very careful of anyone who’s too eager to be my friend. I was so hurt, she seemed so sincere. She also gave me a pair of cat socks and made a special trip to drop off an extra phone charger! And ghosted me!

The woman who wouldn’t listen to me much more than 30 seconds after saying it goes both ways was my neighbor. I know it’s hard to keep up, lol.

I wonder about being too nice too but I can’t go against my nature. I’m proud of the good person I am and can’t be something I’m not. And even if I did do that, I’m sure it’d backfire on me anyway, with my luck.

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