Roll Call 14

Atypical_Disaster · Jan 07, 2014, 12:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

im on haldol because atypicals dont work on me or have really bad side effects.

the only side effect has is sleepiness and slight weight gain very slight on me.

i can deal with some sleepyness but i dont really want to sleep.

the typicals work better for me and less side effects than the atypicals. weird maybe.

The typicals work better for me too, and less side effects as well.

newtus · Jan 07, 2014, 01:12 PM

atypicals dont work on me plus have side effects. typicals barely work.

maybe my sz is bad idk

Atypical_Disaster · Jan 07, 2014, 01:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

atypicals dont work on me plus have side effects. typicals barely work.

maybe my sz is bad idk

I'm the same way. Atypicals just give me bad side effects, they'll help for like a day or two and then it just stops working altogether.

Apparently the oldies are goodies for me.

newtus · Jan 07, 2014, 01:54 PM

i havent seen the nurse yet but im thinking about giving an unltimatum.

"i take my meds lowered or im never coming back here" or "im gonna have to quit my medicine"

some regular at a grocery store said i put on weight

umph!

this is rock bottom

im getting off these meds OR lowered OR ELSE

Erti · Jan 07, 2014, 03:09 PM

Back from the doctors. I've gained weight and the Pap hurt. Good news is I don't have to see her in about a year.

newtus · Jan 07, 2014, 03:56 PM

[deleted]

Zaria · Jan 07, 2014, 04:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by faerie_moon_x

I just feel really angry and violent today. I"m not violent by nature. I get this way though. I just want to smash things and break things and scream. I just feel like my brain is rattling around in my skull and it's really anoying. I'm really angry at my job. I hate these stupid tasks. I call people out of curtesy to schedule them. But teh doctors take it as it's my responsability to call them and them not make a phoen call to me. I have 89 providers to call patients for. There's only one om me. We already have our own patient load of probably around 3,000 patients a year.

But the company I work for is huge. We have 17 clinics. So I only call patients 1-2 times, and if they dont' call back I let the doctor know. Then I get it back "spoke to the pt and she's ready to schedule now. Give her another call" or "just keep trying." I have hundreds of patients to call. This really pisses me off. I haven't seen a psychiatrist in almost 5 years. Does anyone ever call me on non-compliance? Does anyone call me to check and see if I want to be seen? Does anyone ever call to find out if I'm okay? No. Oh, but if I had diabetes then don't worry, some mentally unstable girl will be there to hold your hand and take all your responsability away to make sure you get your appointment.

And this morning I almost chased a guy down the highway because he wouldn't let me over.

I'm just a powder keg really.

So sorry you are going through a hard time Faerie Moon.
This is NO LESS debilitating then cancer or any other horrible physical disease, that's for sure! Because the illness can't be "seen" by others or under a microscope or x-rayed etc, the mentally ill are pretty much stigmatized & neglected in our culture. Certainly,no one chooses it.
Does it help you to vent (write out) your frustrations and angry feelings?
That's what I do when I am angry and it really does help me feel better.
The people in my life that have had mental illness, have (honestly) often been the most sincere and highly intelligent as well. I hope you feel better soon. Don't give up! If you're holding down a job, that in itself is something. It sounds like you are not liking it at the moment, but having a job gives you some power and a purpose. You should be very proud of yourself. (in my opinion!)

faerie_moon_x · Jan 07, 2014, 05:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zaria

So sorry you are going through a hard time Faerie Moon.
This is NO LESS debilitating then cancer or any other horrible physical disease, that's for sure! Because the illness can't be "seen" by others or under a microscope or x-rayed etc, the mentally ill are pretty much stigmatized & neglected in our culture. Certainly,no one chooses it.
Does it help you to vent (write out) your frustrations and angry feelings?
That's what I do when I am angry and it really does help me feel better.
The people in my life that have had mental illness, have (honestly) often been the most sincere and highly intelligent as well. I hope you feel better soon. Don't give up! If you're holding down a job, that in itself is something. It sounds like you are not liking it at the moment, but having a job gives you some power and a purpose. You should be very proud of yourself. (in my opinion!)

Thanks. Well, not writing my frustrations can be very activating for me. It's like reving an engine up. I have to be careful. WIth my racing thoughts and pressured speach once I get going it's hard to stop sometimes. It's better to think about strategies and coping skills than to make lists of the problems themselves. At leas that's what I've found.

I tend to be the arguer that once I start arguing I can't stop. My mind gets stuck in a loop. It's really frustraiting and something I'm working on, it's hard.

having a job is okay and I am proud of how long I've kept this job. But in the end this job mostly reminds me of how I've failed. Because I'm really intelligant and I had a ton of potential and I completely wasted it. I could have done anything I wanted and instead I decided I wasn't good enough to go to college or smart enough or whatever, and instead I didn't do anything and now I'm stuck in this job. And, what's worse, is as my bipolar seems to be getting worse I feel even worse about myself because I not only missed out on my own abilities but now I'm watching them fade away slowly and I try my best with what I have to stay well, but it's hard sometimes.

junkDNA · Jan 07, 2014, 05:36 PM

well my shot ran out and my new one hasnt kicked in yet T said cuz i wrot ehim a note and im going psychotic as i type this and im realy scared. i went to school today first day and i was nervouse well things are really fast right now and scattered im home alone and scared but T is calling at 7 so i have to maintain till then then i can go to bed and hopefuly new shot will kick in then im just really freaking out and scared right now sorrruy

newtus · Jan 07, 2014, 08:04 PM

handful of xanax and alcohol tonight. why not?

i pose this question. why not?

Jan 07, 2014, 08:35 PM

My prayers go out to all of you who are struggling

I went back to work today. Then took my youngest daughter to work and then came home- straight to bed! Slept for almost three hours then back up to get my daughter. Work went well but I am still not one hundred percent so it was very hard on me. I'll be so glad when I am completely healed.

serloco · Jan 07, 2014, 08:40 PM

You should be careful and know that many people die from meds and booze. Overdoses end too many lives. I don't want to be a buzzkill but i'm just saying know your limits and don't push them. I too like to party but I know that some things you shouldn't mix.

newtus · Jan 07, 2014, 09:01 PM

i just felt so hopeless tonight. but what night do i NOT feel hopeless. its this endless cycle of crap

Jan 07, 2014, 09:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

i just felt so hopeless tonight. but what night do i NOT feel hopeless. its this endless cycle of crap

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way Newtus

I too know this miserable feeling all too well.
What happened with the nurse today? Did she make you take the full dose shot or was she able to lower it?

Erti · Jan 07, 2014, 09:22 PM

Went to the movies... saw the "Madea Christmas Movie 2013". It was only 5 dollars. I also wanted to spend the movie gift card but found out you can only spend it online so I ended up spending it out of pocket.

newtus · Jan 07, 2014, 09:22 PM

no if u veiwed my threat we had this huge fight verbally

Jan 07, 2014, 09:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

no if u veiwed my threat we had this huge fight verbally

Sorry I didn't see it at first. I'm using my cell on Tapatalk and it looks different than the computer version.
Anyways- sorry to hear that you had such a tough time with them today. I do feel like they should listen to you. And if you feel like the injections aren't working then they should listen to you and have other options for you. If you felt you got out of control with them today then of course it is appropriate to call and apologize. I think you should talk all this over with your therapist and with your pdoc. Just because you are MI doesn't mean they shouldn't listen to you. You know yourself best. I know you are scared right now but you will get through this. I wish you the very best Newtus

Sometimes psychotic · Jan 07, 2014, 10:06 PM

I just finished watching a movie called soul surfer...it's about a surfer who is trying to go pro who loses her arm to a shark attack...her survival and recovery. Very inspiring. Got it on netflix through the mail. For anyone who needs an upbeat story...

newtus · Jan 07, 2014, 10:10 PM

the 60s blonde never helped woth the 70s blonde they were alwys fighting

faerie_moon_x · Jan 07, 2014, 11:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

I just finished watching a movie called soul surfer...it's about a surfer who is trying to go pro who loses her arm to a shark attack...her survival and recovery. Very inspiring. Got it on netflix through the mail. For anyone who needs an upbeat story...

I've heard of this. It's a true story.

medicalfox · Jan 08, 2014, 12:29 AM

Stressing a bit about next semester, job wise. I have always worked nights to avoid people due to my autism, anxiety, and occasional word salad, but when I go into the laboratory tech program I will have to work days since the classes are mornings only. I work as a cna at night and when I worked days I was a mess. I had the runs constantly from severe anxiety and people assumed I always had the flu so I would be sent home or worse taken off the patient's schedule which decreased hours and increased anxiety. I'm not sure what to do for a job in college since I also have slow cognitive processing speed so I could never do a fast pace job which is almost everything. Maybe a campus job at the community college would be good, where can I post on PC about campus job questions?

Also, I made dean's list and my gpa is finally over a 3.0! I'm doing so much better academically and after two years of failing classes I finally have great grades due to better stability.

Jan 08, 2014, 01:14 AM

medicalfox congrats on the dean list and having such a great gpa! That's something to be very proud of! Maybe your college counselor could help you select a job that could work for you. I wish you the best!

medicalfox · Jan 08, 2014, 02:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cracking Slowly

medicalfox congrats on the dean list and having such a great gpa! That's something to be very proud of! Maybe your college counselor could help you select a job that could work for you. I wish you the best!

Yes I'm very proud and it has not been easy. I'm so happy to learn that college is possible for me while being on proper treatment. I'm kind of nervous talking to a new counselor at a different college because I don't want to be discriminated for not being able to work average jobs :/

costello · Jan 08, 2014, 05:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gr3tta

I want a new job. I'm so bored. You guys vote, and I'll do it.

Glazier.

costello · Jan 08, 2014, 06:11 AM

My son accidently set off the security system at his house yesterday and the police came.

The system hasn't worked since they put it in, and they fixed it yesterday. And of course he managed to set it off when he came home, even though he followed the instructions the repairman gave him. Now he's afraid to open his door for fear he'll have to talk to the police again.

I hope he doesn't stop using the security system. He doesn't live in that great of a neighborhood. The last occupants were drug dealers. I worry someone will break in and hurt him, not knowing the former occupants are gone. He does still occasionally have people come around looking for them.

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