Roll Call 14

since my meds have worn off ive been getting slight telltale signs that i need it.

you guys - maybe i really do need medication

im scared with it and without it.
but at the same time i think i need to quit telling my doctors stuff.

Newtus I am sorry that your going through all of this. The system will drive a person mad! Lately I feel like I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't! This healthcare crap has me fired up mad! I was online looking into family plans and they are all too expensive and even though I make only $18000 a year I don't qualify to get any kind of help! I don't see where this Obama Care crap helps people like me. Single parent. Kids are 21, 19, & almost 18 all in school and depend on me for the majority of their living expenses. But somehow I'm suppose to pull about $400 per month out of my a.ss to pay for health care that I'm now required to have?!? Don't the government know that if people like me could afford that then we'd have health insurance for our families???? It's not like I don't want health insurance I just cannot afford it! I'm so flipping frustrated with the system right now!

It is crap like this that makes my symptoms sky rocket!

im sorry cracking. i didnt know you were going through that

i keep going through my head "i shouldnt have said all that stuff to the nurse" and "no im glad i stood up for myself".

around and around and around

this fight with the nurse has really got me flipped upside down and inside out. ive got tons of questions running through my mind. and what ifs. and oh nos.

In my personal opinion Newtus I think you have every right to stand up for yourself! I think they should listen to you and work with you to find a medication that works and that doesn't make things worse for you. In my opinion I think a person should have the choice of what is injected into their body! I don't agree with the system forcing people to over medicate themselves and threatening to take away their benefits if they don't comply! Of course I understand that in extreme situations forced medication might be needed for the well being of a person. But I think each individual person's case should be handled accordingly. Not just inject and over medicate because the govt says so or else no benefits! I think the health care system sucks! I think the govt is doing a heck of a lot of stuff backwards and it is making things worse for people.

Please note this is my personal opinion. I don't want to upset anyone. But I'm pretty ticked off with our govt and healthcare system right now.

its just that i realize part of my behavior wasnt necessary but at the same time she TRULY insulted me with some things she said to me. telling me i shouldnt be going to school because im not stable. b_tch thats not your call.

and saying she needed to talk to my dad because he drives me. he JUST DRIVES ME. that doesnt make him IN CHARGE OF MY TREATMENT. and thats how she was handling it.

and just tons of things went down.

Newtus I can tell that you think maybe you could have handled the situation differently with your behavior. But that lady could of handled herself differently too and not insulted you. From what you have said and I read your entire thread it sounds like you reacted to what the lady said to you. So if she would have spoken better to you then you most likely would not have reacted badly towards her. Am I right?

The problem is $400 a month for 4 people is great....when I was looking into cobra continuation from my last job it was more than that for just 1 person(like $800)also because I had a pre-existing condition I could not get independent coverage so it is good for some people. If you can't afford it you can always just pay the fine which is like what $95 this year for the whole year. The other problem is your state I think that Texas refused Medicaid expansion which was subsidized...in most states you would qualify for that with your income. Still I'm very sorry that you are going through this...I'm sure the program will change in the coming years to make things easier. You may also be exempt from the fine due to the cost of your plan...https://www.healthcare.gov/exemptions/

Yes you are absolutely correct! That price is good for the lowest possible health care plan for a family of 3. It wouldn't allow me to figure in my almost 18 year old daughter because in Texas it says she may qualify for the Chip program. So that $400 figure is only for three of us but I know that's a great rate. But when you can't afford the rate whether it be $300, $400, or $800 per month it is extremely frustrating! My income falls on the line where I do not qualify for any govt help to pay for it. So for my family and I it boils down to groceries or healthcare. We have to have groceries so no healthcare.

Myself and each one of my kids will have to pay the fine. When you don't have money to begin with and then they require you to pay a fine.....Really? If you had money then you'd pay the health insurance. Like how the heck can the govt fine someone who couldn't afford it in the first damn place? Seems pretty counter productive to me!

Also wanted to add to this that if they would have listened to you about reducing your injection medication then you would not have had the bad reaction that you described. I'm not saying acting badly is correct but am saying that I don't think you should totally blame yourself for this. Just my two cents

So I think I need to go back to college for something so that I can earn more money so that I can afford health insurance! That's my only option!

My son wasn't on it for three years before it was lowered. He came out of the hospital on a dose of 35 mg and now it's 2.5 mg. They began gradually reducing the dose very early on. But my son is working with the doctor. He's not abusing alcohol and Xanax. He's not suddenly quitting the medication.

They mention that in the article his pdoc gave him.

"Family education, supported employment, and cognitive behavioral therapy have all demonstrated efficacy in reducing the likelihood of relapse events, increasing the ability to function in daily life, and improving problem-solving and interpersonal skills.

"NIMH is supporting research on interventions that focus on a combination of approaches—symptom remission, family engagement, and functional recovery. The Recovery After Initial Schizophrenia Episode (RAISE) project combines low-dose medication with family psycho-education, supported education/employment, individual resilience training, and other interventions to focus on more than just the psychotic symptoms. Combining current treatments, as done in RAISE, looks like a promising approach."

I don't know your pdoc, but I guarantee you have a 1000 times better chance of him working with you if you'll work with him. When you flush the AP down the toilet and wash a month's worth of Xanax down with alcohol in three days, he's not thinking, "Oh, here's good candidate for recovery." He's thinking, "Lacks insight. Uncooperative."

My son didn't just wait three years then magically have the pdoc lower his meds. He's been working his *** off. And it's been hard for him. He's battled side effects. He's dealt with the withdrawal from lowering the dose every once in a while. He's pushed himself to leave the house when he was scared and to take jobs and go to class when he just wanted to hole up at home. He's had self-doubt and the fear of thinking it would never get any better. And frankly we don't know if lowering the dose will work. We know there's a real risk of relapse. We just think it's worth trying so he won't have to wonder when he's 40 or 50 if he could have got off the meds if he'd tried.

partially right. i admit i came in with an angry agenda because i wanted my med lowered...

yea

its not that i havent tried. and especially not before. i went through the ringer with one doc in 2008. i tried for two years was doing perfect. gained 80 pounds. was unattractive but i tried my best and hardest and the doctor turned out to be a reall bad doctor. blaming my weight gain on me. had me misdiagnosed. all sorts of stuff.

thats when i renounced psychiatry in 2010. never saw a pdoc again or therapist or anyone.

came back to psychiatry in 2011 or so.

costello...
its just....im so sick of my life and with psychiatry. ive been through the ringer. the bad docs. many many many hospitals. the uncaring therapists. and then sometimes no help or inadequate help. more often than not being through all that stuff. and im so sick and tired of that.

im sick of trying my hardest and then having a bad doctor or one who wont listen to me. im sick of trying my hardest only to get inadequate help. im sick of trying and then having no support and falling through.

i have really tried with doctors so hard for so long. and i gave up this year. because they arent helping or not working with me. and im trying to get back on track. ...again. its hard but im trying.

and i know the fight with this nurse is going to go down in my history as uncooperative. but how much can a person take when they are trying and no ones listening to them and they are being practically bullied or pushed into medicine thats making them sick. because this nurse was ACTUALLY bullying me in some ways. i admit my behavior was wrong but im glad i stood up for myself.

They aren't...you don't have to pay it....the lowest plan is 27% of your income. If it is more than 8% of your income you don't pay any fine but must file for an exemption....thats is in the link in the previous post. So it's not that they are trying to hurt you it's just that you can't take advantage of it, but it will help a lot of people.

I do have financial aid and would it affect how much I receive?

Not to gang up on you but I agree with Costello on this one....doctors go to school because they want to help people...you're not letting him do his job...that pisses them off because they see you are sick and want to help. They might not always know how to help you...finding the right meds is not easy. So long as you are non-compliant they will keep you on an injectable and the choices there are even fewer. The goal when you get a new doctor should be to build trust on both sides...once they trust you and you have to earn that trust then they will be more flexible. If you fight them you will lose...either because they just don't want to deal with you anymore(they got into medicine to help not to coerce or parent) or if they consider you dangerous then it will be hospital because they can't just trust you. Either way you lose. The thing is this...you are not a child anymore...people aren't going to react to you as if you are still learning how to be an adult...you are an adult and have to take responsibility for you own well-being but right now you are acting like a child by blaming other people for your non-compliance. Most people learn these skills by working...you have to put up with a ridiculous amount of crap especially if you work retail but you can't say anything or you will lose your job. No tip...same guy 5 times...you keep serving him and with a smile. Life is not fair...it never will be...you have to learn to navigate by making things as easy as possible for other people and they will return the favor. People want to help you but they will not if you keep fighting them when they want to help you. If you are homeless living on the street and someone gives you a twenty you don't ask for two tens instead you take the twenty and thank them profusely. You not only refused the twenty but lit it on fire just to see it burn.

You have to have qualified for work study...they will tell you that when you get the results of your fafsa back...if you get work study then basically the government does not pay you directly but requires you to find a position that uses work study and when you do they will pay half your salary...what this typically means is you make a lot more than minimum wage for work that's not super hard. This is all in addition to whatever aid you receive its just that normally when you qualify for aid you qualify for work study too.

i dont understand
im not fighting anybody

i was trynig to compromis with them but im going to apologize for my behavior

i called to apologize for my behavior this morning to the nurse but all they would let me do is give that message to her. i feel humiliated to have to be given the choice of only having to get to give them that sort of message but its ok. i need humility right now.

im wondering if shell call me back personally. i hope she will. but i understand if she doesnt.