Roll Call 60

i want a margerita so bad right now.

i have therapy tomorrow too

This is our version Koka all the way!

I had Ramen for lunch (shrimp flavored)

Can you get curry ramen noodles in the US? I'll have to look for them; I love curry.

I love ramen with kimchi. mmm... it's an acquired taste. It's fermented cabbage.

I'd hurry for your curry! wait, that doesn't even make sense. lol I love awkward humor.

Ody, you're making me blush!

lol

In the meantime - get your records. You will need them.

I don't think I've ever had this good of a response to xanax before. I feel completely relaxed.

I'm listening to music and writing
well i 'm trying to wtire

I asked her for them. I've asked several times. My boyfriend is better at talking on the phone and demanding. I can't do it.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Don't get started on them. It's not worth it.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

How do you write? I try to all the time but everything I come up with sounds stupid.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

everthing I write is stupid too,
And I can't even type that well so I'm just trying to write at tihs point

I kind of just write whatver comes to my head and then save it
Then romorrow or whatever I feel better I will go back to it and correct it or just delete and start again
I do that sometimes I want to dfeel productive so I just write whatevr is on my heart

thats why ambien and xanax is do addictive. they zonk you out into dreamland

Ambien did nothing for me. Xanax just calms me down. I wish I had something that knocked me out that wasn't an AP. I feel like that defeats the purpose of an AP. if you're just going to sleep 24/7, is that really treatment or just sedation so people don't have to deal with us?

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I don't think the sedation from AP's lasts very long. My daughter has taken several AP's, and feeling unusually sleepy only lasts a few weeks, and gets less and less, then you're back to your normal wakefulness. Every time she's had to increase her dose, the sleepiness was shorter - maybe only a week.

Being sleepy 24/7 for a few weeks is worth it if you end up in a better place mentally. If you haven't stayed on an AP long enough to get through the sleepy period - then I'd suggest giving it another go.

Here's a recent drawing I did to represent what the voices and hallucinations represent in my mind.

Btw, It's good to see everyone's still hanging in there. I hope you are all doing well.

My doctor kept me on them 2 months minimum. Upping the dosage as the months went by. I never notice any helpful change. The best thing that ever worked was serquil xr. But still, the side effects outweighed the benefit. I gained 50lbs on it. The sleepiness did ease up but not enough. I was always exhausted feeling. I stayed on that the longest. 1 and a half year. The sleepiness never went away. I couldn't take it. As I describe it to doctors, imagine a tv on in the background. You can choose to pay attention to what the tv is saying or you can just hear it has background noise. I do pick up key words and such but even with seroquel and haldol, the best combination I felt, it was as if the only thing it did was turn the tv from 100 volume to 99 volume. You barely notice the difference at all. Only when I'm completely calm. I've tried every typical and atypical AP except clozaril. I'm terrified of trying that.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

this is really great!!!

woke up at 6am and decided to stay awake. going to see my friend that i haven't seen ina while this evening. we are meeting at a sushi restaurant. i see my NP today after T. not looking forward to that. debating whether i should be honest with her about the voices episode... what if she tries to push more klonopin on me? i DONT want benzos because i know i am high risk for abusing them. she doesn't get that, though. one time she told me "you're different now". um, lady, you don't know me and also that is NOT how addiction works!

Afternoon/Morning!

Still over at my parent's house. Just been helping them clear out the loft... it's amazing how much stuff they have accumulated over the years.

All this talk of Ramen makes me really want to try some but I'm not sure where I could get it here. There are a couple of Japanese restaurants near me so maybe they would serve it.

Also it's only 3 days until my p-doc appointment now... really looking forward to broaching the subject of going med-free. I'm sort of nervous but I feel I am ready to give it a shot so we'll just have to see what my p-doc says.

morning

i slept great.
gonna have my coffee and lay back in bed lol

therapy today at 3pm

I remember cleaning out my grandmothers house with my parents when she passed away, she had accumulated so much stuff. She wasn't a hoarder or anything but there was just so much.

Koka noodles in Tesco are the same as Ramen. You get them where you find the Pot Noodles and that in Tesco. The curry and chicken flavours are awesome!