Roll Call 60

I was on them for 30 years. It was a lot harder coming off them after being on them so long. I have turned into a recluse but I was a recluse all along anyway and I have plenty of physical problems too. Anyway, you say you don't abuse them but you drink and that makes the addiction worse. You also posted that you took 4 pills recently while drinking, which is clearly abuse.

I know you don't want to come off of them and I'm sorry you're in this situation.

I watched a program once about eating healthy, I think it was the food inc guy, he said that junk food, or other similar things are good as long as you make them. That sort of helped me a little. Making food that comes out all delicious is a good way to appreciate everything that goes into it, and since it takes longer to make, it becomes a whole event. I hope you post pictures if you make it!

First Monday of the school year, wonderful. Woke up with fleas all over me at 3am, couldnt go back to sleep. I have English Composition, US Government and Politics, and Psychology today.

Hope I can get through it

Good luck!

i havent heard the voices yet today. i am still at my moms. i think my blood levels are getting back up...becasue of the ones i missed.

Okay, so I got myself in a awkward situation. Yesterday, I was bored and I was thinking about my past relationships. I thought about the boy who almost made me commit suicide because he broke up with me on homecoming dance. This was when I was 14. He witnessed my first psychotic episode. I messaged him on Facebook asking why did he do that, and his girlfriend thought I was trying to flirt with him or something got offended and told me how disrespectful it was and to leave him alone. I try to explain that I absolutely don't want him. I'm happy with my current boyfriend. We have been together for three years. I'm trying to make it as clear as possible that I DO NOT WANT HIM! He is ugly as hell and I will never forgive him for cheating on me and dumping me on homecoming. I had a dress and everything, but I didn't get to go until my senior year with my current boyfriend. Ugh.......

Also, the other night I was at a red light and I hallucinated that it turned green and I almost ran it with a cop right next to me...

one time i was high at a a red light and a cop car came up behind me and i panicked and got scared and just drove thru the red light... lol. he stopped me of course but i didnt get a ticket, i was 16 and super stoned. and he knew that cuz i had smoked in my car. he just let me go

I love working with children,
They make me feel like the most important and special person on the planet!

If my boyfriend wasn't there to stop me then I would have ran it. Lol.
But that was cool how the cop just let you go. I would have got a ticket.

Cops around here are the same way.
My friend and I got pulled over on our way home from the movies because the officer thought that she was texting and driving because she was swerving apparently,
But she wasn't texting and she was NOT swerving, but the officer let her go anyway. I think he was just trying to spy on us and he got her information so he probably just wanted to keep tabs on her or on me.

I don't like police officers. They are never there when I need them

i hate living in the rural kinda.
so far from everything.
but far from people so kinda good.

I found a place to live! It is a large room in a house, and it has a private balcony. It has parking and everything. The only problem is that the room smells like cat pee, but I am going to tell the landlord that I won't sign a lease until he gets the stench out of there...

I feel so relieved, having a place to live.

I know. I've been trying to find a doctor willing to help me, still no luck. I've read lots of people's stories of trying to get off of them and having to take years just to finally be able to do so. As for the drinking, I've only been drinking like this the last two weeks. Before then, I barely drank more than one drink because it usually made me sick feeling too fast or too sleepy too fast. I had stomach surgery, so alcohol affect me a lot differently now. Anyways. The 4 pill night, that's why I was really upset because I didn't remember taking one and my anxiety would go up and I'd assume I'd got distracted and I'd get another. I've never drank to the extent I'm currently drinking even before surgery. I've been drinking to try to avoiding needing to take one. My boyfriend now hides my bottle when I drink so I don't do that again. I've never intentionally abused them.

It's okay. I'm trying, once again, to find a t. I'm going to try to use just my private insurance and try to see if I can afford $100-$125/month in copayments, if it's only once a week therapy.

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When I lived in Colorado for a few months, it was in a town of 1,000. It was like 12,000ft elevation up this winding mountain. I had to drive an hour and a half just to get to Denver, where the closest doctors were. This town only had one doctor.

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That sounds like a good idea. I wish you good luck.

Thanks.

Anyone know how to get rid of the title. I read in a historical post , that I could create a custom title in edit details.

Can't find it though.

I think you must have 2000 posts before you create a custom title.....

Doh , no other way to do it so?
Just don't like the title , prefer if there was nothing there. Might mail admin.

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Well my appeal got denied. Won't be starting classes again probably for several years.

That's terrible bluebird....I'm so sorry

I wish you the best of luck

I am so sorry. I would think that if someone is in the hospital, that they would give them a break.

what happened?!

wow.
i live in a town of 700.

Well, I had an issue completing my class before but that was because my mom was in the ICU when they found leukemia and I stayed with her and everything was chaotic because I've never lived on my own and I was depressed and worried about her They took that into account even though I retook the class and passed, but for some reason they're not forgiving it, I guess it's not a good enough excuse. I'll just have to save up money for next time