Roll call 80

I am trying to get off my seroquel completely. It never helped me sleep.

Hi Gr3tta, I'm really glad to hear you're doing well and happy. I hope it's contagious.

Smoked a cigarette in the dark, contemplated life and looked at the moon =]

I'm deep like that..

I'm going to fill up my vape with nicotine and there's still THC left in the coil.

Then I will smoke another cigarette and do the same thing.

Listening to Red Hot Chilli Peppers.

Sleep tight

Tweaky will be in ur dreams

It is 5:43am why am I still up? Ugh need sleep, especially since I've been hearing voices again, not good...

I have gotten myself confused about what food I should order from where. They couldn't deliver any food yesterday, but I need them more towards the end of the week. OK. I'll order from them today, get my peapod order for cleaning supplies tomorrow. OK so I'm back to the original plan of ordering from the restaurant twice because I need them to help me with my mail later this week or the next. I keep having anxiety that I'm missing important mail because I can't get downstairs to get it. At least now I have the original plan again.

I need a lot of coffee, that's why the crunch is on with peapod.

Good morning. Just waiting for the weekend to be over.

Hi all. Not feeling well physically. Checked blood pressure and pulse and it is very different in both arms. Hope nothing is wrong.

Good morning/afternoon. Just having a lazy day today. It's hot today I was thinking of going out to lay in the sun but I really need to stop doing that. I love being tan but I love not having skin cancer more.

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Hi,

I'm having a lazy day too. Nothing exciting.

Edgar Allen Poe is back. This time he is punching me in the chest.

It's my mother's birthday. As much as I don't want to lose her, our relationship has been strained to say the least, all my life. As much as I can hate her, I just cannot face the prospect of losing her. But she's even still, so abusive.

I just called my mother. She was really nice to me, and treated me more like a real person. I so appreciate that, and I love her so much.

I wish I could go take a walk. The day is so clear and bright. Im losing so much being unable to go out. I wish I had my bicycle and could ride it for awhile.

I'm doing really well today. I just called my sandwich place and ordered my food and I managed to call without much fear. I hope everything is going to be ok. I'm starving too. I'm getting Coke! I'm actually more in the mood for Pepsi but they only have Coke. So hungry.

Glad to hear you are doing well! Edgar Allen Poe quickly left and my day ended up okay too.

Still really paranoid thinking bordering on delusional, luckly I'm able to recognize it is irrational thinking thanks to my meds, but it is still scary, lots of.disoganized thoughts aswell as hearing voices, this has not been a good week for me. Sorry if I'm hijacking these threads cause of my dx, but I feel like with these symptoms this is the right place.to post my thoughts...

It's definitely the right place. Sorry you are struggling.

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Life's good =]

i am having a hell of a time... its really bad. i dont want to go on. i went to work bu ti dont even know why. i kept asking myself" why am i even going here ? it doesnt matter" i got there and immediately wanted to leave. i was trying so hard to not cry in front of my coworkers. they alreaday thinkk i am weird enough. i told myself i will just work this shift nad go home and do it. well im home now. i texted my T for support... i had also called him before i wen tto work. he texted me some then stopped when he asked what i have eaten today and discovered that it hasnt been much of anything. i figured he was roling his eyes saying wow F it. which is how i felt. he called me around 10pm. we talkeds ome, i walked around th eparking lot. i cried a little. i felt stupid. he kept saying it will pass, it will pass. go home and take a prn and ur meds and go to bed, ill talk to u in the morning. i said ok i gotta go .he texted a few min after "i care about you very much, this will pass" well i am home now... i have a headache and i feel so terrible. i dont even know what i am waiting for. what is T gonna do?? im always going to end up here...in this state. i am so tired. im sorry for unloading here... i just ... whatever

<3

I felt exactly like that when I was working when I was sick. I would think about bringing a knife to me at work and ending it in the washroom.

I had to make money for my apartment and my mom kept pressuring me to work. I remember sitting with my parents in the car and then I just started crying. My dad offered to bail me out but I ended up quitting because I was suicidal and idk why in that state I would want to continue to that type of work for the rest of my life. I was just in a really bad mental state.

That was my second main job.

It sucks that America doesn't have good disability. You're good to have a supportive therapist.

No need to be sorry for posting. I've been posting here for like 3 years. It's all spam!!

You should take Advil or something for the headache. I just took Advil and it works wonders =P

I haven't eaten today either. Idk how weight loss works but I'm scared of gaining weight now with this Abilify...

I don't know the feeling I am. My niece and nephew are leaving early. They're leaving in less than 24 hours. My nephew is asleep next to me. Ever since he was a baby, he would fall asleep playing with hair (my sister didn't let him.) or my moms. My chest hurts and I can't sleep. My thoughts are bouncing so fast. I've been writing this for over 30 minutes now because I keep forgetting. Like. My mind will go completely blank and I'll have no clue what I was saying/thinking/writing and not have a clue or never even remember some times. My moms making my dad call a low income lawyer to try to get the kids away. All I hear in my head is them crying they don't want to go home. My niece and nephew freak out at just the mention of having to go home. It's killing me. There's too much happening right now. My boyfriend isn't talking to me at the worst time. I wish I could sleep

I hope everyone's doing okay. <3

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I wish I could get some sleep
It's the damn nightmares keeping me awake

I keep getting very strange dreams Kori. I think it might be my Citalopram. They are weird/disturbing without being actual nightmares but I often wake up suddenly from them.

Still agitated and restless and depressed, don't wan to.do anything, but I still have a lot of energy, racing thoughts, my brain won't shut off, still a high urge to SH, ugh...Still.very paranoid thoughts bordering on delusional, and stil hearing voices off and on....Idk just hoping I can ride all this out with the help.of me treatment team...

Deleted.

I hope everyone is feeling better today, sorry to hear so many had problems last night.