Roll Call 144

Using a lot of coping skills. Left the house 3 times today, to take a walk one to go to the pharmacy, and to go to the library. Also have been reading, journaling, tracking my mood and sleep, distracting myself, etc. I tried taking a nap but that's not happening, maybe I'll get some better sleep tonight, I hope.

I hope you do!

Oh no. Can u email the support for that company?

Yes. They'll probably take the 2nd one back. But it's going to take time, and what else can I get. I'm limited to Vapewild because that's the only vendor my bf will buy from. I just want to violently cry for the rest of the day.

I’m sorry Angelique, this must be frustrating

Im so sorry Angelique

Thank you 12am! I fall apart when I don't get to vape. It's the only thing left I can do except for when I can't.

Thank you, newtus!

Sorry Angelique, that sounds frustrating I hope you can get a replacement

Did the dishes, cleaned up main room, made my bed (always a challenge with two cats, one of which is obsessed with being underneath sheets all the time) and took the trash out.

I'm acting like a human being, one that's alive, haha it's weird

I’m so glad for you bluebird 😀👍

I’ve done a lot of walking today. 3.71 miles... almost 10,000 steps. In the rain and snow too. All thanks to Pokemon GO

That's awesome lol did you catch any good pokemon?

Five Feet Apart
Was sweet and sad.

I'm happy for you too blue bird. We both seem to be having a lot of severe ups and downs in productivity..

I'm battling slight addiction right now but soon that will go away and I'll be back to my normal self. I just hope that I'm at least a little bit as articulate as I am right now because yesterday I did like half of an essay and there's a possibility that I can do well in my school course.

I'm just at work now and not really supposed to be studying but I'm doing it anyways because there's nothing to do and I hate pretending to be busy.

I'm sorry about you're addiction, I hope you're able to get help

I got a Rayquaza. It’s a special raid weekend so lots of folk going around trying to catch them. I got my first one but on my next two raids I didn’t managed to capture either. Glad I at least got one though!

I start work at 2pm-10pm and my mom starts work at 3pm-11pm. She's the manager and will tell me to stop studying. Addiction is the least of my worries. It's my school course that I'm focused on. I don't feel happy when I can't pursue my future and addiction could hinder that slightly but I'm too focused on my future to let it get in the way so addiction is definitely going to fade out like it did before.. I was just upset about how the other students have more experience than me so I go down into a hole.. but I can step out easily... I just want to not ruin my life.. and I'm so hard on myself and self critical.. like everything is worse than it actually is.. but I look on the bright side more and more as time goes on and I'm away from my step dad and that isolated town.. I don't feel the need to feel like I shouldn't exist...

Just the responsibility clashes with what I want to do and what I think is right with my morals and people expect me to be like everyone else and be normal and sweep spotless floors.. I can't stand that.. how can anyone? Their state of mind is better than mine.. I'm searching for more in life.. I know that life is worth living but I have to make the right choices...

Everyone is addicted to something.. the fabric of society is what holds us together in some twisted way and psychosis is losing touch with that reality.. The percentage of people with psychosis will be greater in the future as technology advances..

I need to fight for what I believe is right in the world... but then I become cynical misanthropic nihilistic.. like everything is pointless because everyone believes in different things and wants to argue with each other.. what's the point? I'm not special.. that's why I like my grandeur at the end of the injection..

I feel like no one understands me so I can't get help for anything

And I feel like a control freak

back home.

been spending a lot of time at my grandparents lately, because I don't feel safe and stable alone.

gonna make mac n cheese for supper, take my meds, and then try to relax.

I’m glad you can rely on your grandparents for support.

I love mac n cheese.... not had any for quite a while now. Do you make it yourself or buy the packets?

Thank you, BB! I fixed it! I'm so relieved!

I buy the packets