Roll Call 168 =)

Pharmacist is gonna try to put the clozapine prescription through when the pharmacy opens at 11am tomorrow

Just so anxious about this stuff, annoyed it's taking so long.

Trying.. to.. Absorb knowledge..

Finding sources.. Many sources..

Going through internet, articles, reddits, etc..

The deeper I go, I find patterns.. But want to listen to music and chill...

Too much to handle.. brains.. My brain? Minds..

Day, night, dream, sight, light, dark, fight, spark

Order.. What do I do? With fear? Positivity, hope.

I will be positive until I die. But I remember when I was a kid - I was on the internet... A forum.. On skype I made a friend. He said "Is the glass half full or half empty?" - I said.. "Half empty". I know it's a jinx.. But it was a coincidental one.. It's true. I am a pessimist by nature.

It was made to be.

But I'm ok.

Super exciting!

I think it might’ve been acid reflux. This has happened a few times. I also ate a crap load today. I knew good and well not to, and I still did it.

That is intereting, Desoxyn, because I don't really think of you as a pessimist.

I just did six hours straight of homework...now I know how you feel after 8 hours of zoom.....

I’ve got a different book by him, I got it to get the receptor interactions for all the APs....

Meditated for 40 minutes

Good job, Sometimes!

Wow--that's really long!

Just looked at an entire page of german shepherd puppy pictures and now I feel great!

And I'm eating chocolate chocolate chip cookies. Yum!

With the clozapine. The worry is that the REMS people might not work on the weekends. If that's the case I can't get it until Monday

What's a REMS people?

Clozapine REMS is the FDA system where you have to get blood drawn every week, make sure the ANC is ok, then get the med.

The nurse faxed my lab to them friday.

My family was always partial to Shepard’s, my grandparents had them and one of my aunts...usually two at a time. They’re great dogs.

sorry if I'm bugging y'all about this clozapine stuff I'm just an anxious person haha

It’s ok falcon...you’re just being you....which is always a good thing.

Awesome SP!!

Scientist

Hey, it's good you're trying out different things to feel better. I"m currently on about 675mg of it a day. ask questions... how else are you going to know without asking questions.

Yeah actually I think I'm an optimist. I confuse it with nihilism.. Optimistic nihilism..

I remember saying to a psychologist, "I'm an optimistic misanthrope".

When I first told my mom that I was depressed when I was 16, she got me to write down 5 or so things that I'm hopeful for - I wrote them down. She said "You're not depressed".

So I suppose it's negative symptoms of schizophrenia idk. My therapist said that she can't picture or imagine me being depressed like I explain how I was. So Idk

Wish I could have one...

I sorta doubt those FDA folks are working on Sunday, falcon, so, it could be Monday for you. Hang in there.

I’ve become partial to chihuahuas now. They’re so damn cute and full of personality.