Roll Call 173

I don’t know how student loans work in the US but I know because my sister has debt already she can’t get student loans in Canada.

Usually depends on what you asked for in the fasfa.....but yeah it’ll be loans not pell stuff.....

I snapped u

Basically the only qualitfication in the us is that you don’t have a bachelors already and that you don’t already have like a million bucks....

Slept 14 hrs. Albert made me get up. Cld have slept another 10. So tired.

Appointment went well, I'm doing really well so no med changes. Was nice to see her. She asked about when I'm getting Maybelle and I said September. Because that's when her vet appointment will be. It was gonna be this month but my brother-in-law is in the hospital for the next month for seeing about whether he has TBI from his time in the military or what's going on. Normally he would take her but he's obviously not home till September and my sister works a lot so it will be next month. As long as I get her I'm happy.

My pdoc is wonderful, I've been seeing her for 5 years. She always brings up my hobbies and stuff I've said I like doing to see what I've been up to probably cause it gives a good idea of where my mental health is at.

I was gonna go to Walmart today but it's gotten unbearably hot out so I'm just gonna wait and go earlier in the day tomorrow

I want some general tso's chicken

Now I do too. Lol

I'm trying to cut back on coffee because it's causing my GERD to be bad lately. I'm sure some of the stuff I've been eating hasn't been helping much either. Only had 1 cup of coffee today. Normally I drink on average 7-9 cups daily

Clozapine lowered to 300

Geodon 40-80mg prn

Yes! One cup! That's how much I drink..

Doc said ativan, and if that doesn't work for my sleep then Ambien. Whatever, I'll take anything at this point. I was up until 6am this morning. I'll be getting off remeberon soon though thank god.

I liked teh new Umbrella Academy

Cutting out sweets for 21 days

I'm thinking of doing this too. And for nicotine gum. But I think it has to be either or

My mom takes an ativan to sleep every night. Just 1mg.. For 3 years. It still works.

Are you still on temazepam (Restoril)?

Yeah both would probably be too stressful to do at once

I'm already really stressed out. I took a xanax because this morning was so stressful - Getting my check, waiting for ket mail - My watch band came instead, going to the bank to deposit it, going for a walk and my mom hiking with her heart condition and being stressed out, controlling me, my environment, explaining to my cousin what I do all day, ordering more benzos, the fear of dependency, possible mild heart failure and not being able to live past 30 - The world possibly ending anyways, the end of life and start of death, people dying - Me dying - "What's after death?"..

All I can do is listen to music to help kill the pain.

I can't really push myself to focus hard on anything because I could get dp/dr and then panic.

Yes, but I will be getting off restoril as soon as I go on ativan. And if that doesn't work then I go on ambien as well. Please god, I hope it works.

Yeah. And kung pao chix. Yummer!!

Did u call it rememberon? That is awesome. Hated that med.

Cld not do it. Just ate entire choc cream pie in less than 24 hrs. Addicted to sugar or something. Gd luck!!!

Careful w the Ambien--it is super disinhibiting. Makes alcohol look like water. I sleep cooked, sleep drove. Etc.

lol I didn't see I spelled it that way but I love it. I'll be taking Remeron for 4 more days after I pick up my prescription for ativan. So Ill be able to lose a few lbs that way...

Remeron wasn't that bad besides the weight gain... It really helped me for awhile, but like all the sleep meds, it builds a tolerence.

On a side note, my pdoc wants to put me on Latuda because she falsely believes that will work out my "hypomania".

She's driving me crazy with this hypomania aligation. No, it's not hypomania. i can't feel joy, pleasure, happiness; just like i can't feel sadness or depression; just like I can't feel tired or sleepy. It's a lack of psychic feeling across the boared--in fact my entire circuit bored for feeling is off and she wants to say Im feeling too much dopamine lol wtf. She's delusional.