Roll Call 188

Pissed. Started feeling sick again so can't go to my friend's house. Got ready and everything

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

I love that! I'm sorry you didn't feel well last night.

That's beautiful SP!

Have a video appointment with my psychiatrist tomorrow

I haven't had acid reflux since starting the omeprazole so it's looking very promising

Had a nice weekend...idk why bf and I are fighting so much though

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

I'm procrastinating swapping my sim card to the new phone. I don't know why I just don't do it. Last night I watched one of the Dark Shadows features, it was good but there was no ending. Then I stayed up until 3am watching my anti anxiety show.

Do you think the stress of covid is affecting you? I'm getting so sick of all the things I can't do. If I were living with my friend we'd probably have frequent dust ups.

I went trick or treating with the kiddos. This is the stash we got we were out.



Any plans for Halloween or what you did for Halloween.

I pre-ordered the Pokemon pearl remake (Shining Pearl) for the Nintendo Switch

I also pre-ordered the Happy Home Paradise DLC for Animal Crossing New Horizons

I had a good appointment with my psychiatrist today. I told her about me getting a cat, she is happy for me. She showed me pictures of her cats

Anxious about seeing my psychiatrist in 45 minutes.

I'm going to the movie theater this weekend with my friend, not sure what we're going to see yet. I'm paying for our tickets and drinks since he payed last time. I hope there's something good playing out now, I told him he could pick

How are you feeling today?

Sent from my Nokia XR20 using Tapatalk

I labored fruitlessly this afternoon trying to open the sim tray with no joy. I asked one of the maintenance guys to do it for me and he got it all done in like a minute! I'm so glad except all my text convos are missing. I can't find my contacts either. Android 11 is a pita. They did away with the three buttons on the bottom, so there's no quick way to navigate. Everything is closed by flicking the screen up from the bottom. Not great, I'll have to figure out the changes.

Sent from my Nokia XR20 using Tapatalk

Now that Halloween is over have to look forward to Christmas. But we have a tradition that decorations go up December 1st and come down mid January after orthodox Christmas (we celebrate both).

I’m not huge on holidays usually but I’m anxious for them this year.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

My psychiatrist said I've made a lot of progress since I started seeing her 6 years ago. I don't know, hard to tell from my side of things but that's good to know

I did use to end up in the hospital more frequently, I haven't been in the hospital in a couple years now

I feel existentially weird today. I don't know why, just living in my city doesn't feel right to me.

Also it doesn't seem like the right time to be having these thoughts, as I start a new full time job next Monday.

I talked with the PDOC..

I straight up mentioned things about Western/Eastern society/culture, philosophical thoughts, shamanism, delusion of eternity, religion/science, the world ending and crazy people on social media, my lack of confidence and motivation to make decisions, ...

I was very honest... That I abused the dexes a little, take phenibut and get dysphoric from alcohol, the DP/DR.. I mentioned a lot of things and he said that I'm a really deep thinker - That I'm doing really good even though I have bad days of low mood etc..

He says that my mind is good - And that I should get help to leaning towards not having an illness but something good based on the many times that I've seen him. I know that it's been a long, stretched out spiritual awakening from being atheist, then psychedelic trip, then pantheist/panentheist. I mentioned the crypto, investing, meditation, Buddhism, reading about fasting and gaining weight with olanzepine, neuroscience, pharmacology and interested in psychoactive chems, neuroplasticity.. + Podcasts - Especially listening to Duncan Trussell and his creativity and wondering how he never goes psychotic.

I said that there's a lot of disconnected information in my head and I just pick and choose - Or taking each day to think about some things and other days about other things in a many day/week cycle..

I said that I'm really hard on myself but he says that I'm being responsible by working on myself and level headed etc.. I said, "Western psychiatrists try to mold their patients minds to what is accepted by culture" (An Alan Watts quote).

I told him about the vacation, that I had a good time.. He refilled meds and now I go back to my life....... He said that I'm doing well even by Western standards which is cool...

I don't mean to relate this to anyone else here.. Just my personal journey idk not controverses... Any criticisms welcome.

Yesterday was better.. I feel OK today though. Not good but not too bad.

How is your skin condition? Is it something like measles? Do you have an antihistamine that helps?

Sent from my Nokia XR20 using Tapatalk

It looks like they are fading - I'm not as scared as I was thx ^-;

That's good!

Sent from my Nokia XR20 using Tapatalk

Antipsychotics lower dopamine so the brain is like "We need to grow more receptors" and then when the antipsychotic is stopped, brain is like "Fire!!"