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#826
May 04, 2022, 12:52 PM
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I had therapy last night. I talked to my T about my anxiety. Also talked to her about seeing grey shadowy figures. She says I am doing good because I am using a lot of skills and tools. So even though I am having hallucinations I am able to do some self talk to get myself through them. This feels good. I was having anxiety this morning, like really bad, but I dealt with it (without medication) and got my work done at work, and even got ahead for tomorrow! I was sick yesterday with a really bad migraine and stayed home from work. Usually I can work through them but this one was gnarly. So I had a lot to catch up on at work but it only took me like three hours. My anxiety feels pretty manageable at the moment.
__________________
Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
 Angelique67, Blue_Bird, Desoxyn, WastingAsparagus
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#827
May 04, 2022, 01:05 PM
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Changed my mind. I'm going. I haven't socialized much in a long time and my craving for socialization is overriding everything else.
Sent from my M8L using Tapatalk
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
 SlumberKitty, Sometimes psychotic
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| Angelique67, SlumberKitty
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#828
May 04, 2022, 01:11 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
| Blue_Bird
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#829
May 04, 2022, 01:12 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
| Angelique67, Blue_Bird, Sometimes psychotic
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#830
May 04, 2022, 01:42 PM
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Change of plans, not going after all. I’m not being indecisive. I got ready and everything, I was feeling nauseous earlier and I thought I could ignore it but I just spent the past 15 minutes in the bathroom throwing up. I want to go now but I don’t want to get anyone sick if I’m sick and I don’t want to risk being down there and not being able to make it to a bathroom in time in case it happens again. I don’t know if it’s from anxiety, med side effects or what or some kind of flu or a combo of any of them but I’m staying in tonight.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
| SlumberKitty
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#831
May 04, 2022, 02:36 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
| Blue_Bird
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#832
May 04, 2022, 03:03 PM
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I'm bored at work now.
__________________
Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
| Desoxyn
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#833
May 04, 2022, 03:06 PM
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Hope that you feel better soon! |
| SlumberKitty
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| Blue_Bird
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#834
May 04, 2022, 03:40 PM
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I just want to be alone. I shouldn't try to make friends. Bad idea.
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| SlumberKitty
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#835
May 04, 2022, 03:44 PM
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I drank rum cuz it's just how I am. I guess just wait for the SSRI, AP to kick in. I'm really OK without meds - Just people get concerned. And I guess cuz I get suicidal. I know you're all probably disappointed in me, but all of these things... I've been doing on and off for decade. I get intrusive thoughts about bad memories - All I seem to remember. Not many people understand, and I found some sort of comfort in the glorification of drugs. I want to study, learn, grow, thrive - And I do - More than ever. Things are OK. I don't want to just tell everyone what is ideal to them. This is me and how I deal with things. I'm positive half of the time, other half = sui. But I haven't died, from either. Take it or leave it.
I have little energy to keep up with anything. I want to be somewhere else than here. |
| SlumberKitty, WastingAsparagus
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#836
May 04, 2022, 03:49 PM
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I hope that you find some peace, Desoxyn. Waiting for new meds to kick in really sucks. |
| Desoxyn, SlumberKitty
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#837
May 04, 2022, 03:58 PM
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I feel like I force myself to be positive too much. The reality is things suck right now. And I have this trip planned with my whole family that I just don't want to bother with. I know they'd freak out if I didn't go. Part of me wants not to go though.
__________________
"Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!” |
| Desoxyn, SlumberKitty, Sometimes psychotic
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| convalescence
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#838
May 04, 2022, 04:04 PM
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Quote:
And some people have it good - Like me. I wonder, wtf happens if my parents dies, my brother, sister.. What will they do? I've had many dreams of being in a technological, drug infested wasteland or alien civilization on another planet... I feel like that's where I'm destined.. It slowly just creeps up on anyone, and will for all. But I'll always be empathetic and understanding to everyone, look on the bright side, and try. With support, every good thing. That's what doesn't die. Suffering comes and goes as well so idk My whole family hurts when I'm like this. I don't want to cause them pain - And it's the same for you likely. I can't help it. |
| SlumberKitty, WastingAsparagus
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| WastingAsparagus
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#839
May 04, 2022, 04:08 PM
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I try to be honest about everything but it hurts so much
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| SlumberKitty, WastingAsparagus
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#840
May 04, 2022, 04:16 PM
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Quote:
__________________
"Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!” |
| Desoxyn, SlumberKitty
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| Desoxyn
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#841
May 04, 2022, 04:49 PM
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The instacart driver never delivered my order…luckily I got refunded but how lame because the whole point was not to shop.
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
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Hugs! 
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| SlumberKitty, WastingAsparagus
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#842
May 04, 2022, 04:50 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
| Sometimes psychotic
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#843
May 04, 2022, 05:04 PM
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I just had an order from Amazon today that was supposedly delivered but I wasn't They delivered it and they key to the parcel box was in my mailbox but when I opened the locker there was nothing in there It was a cheap item so I'm not super concerned. I'll contact them after 24 hours is up for a refund if it doesn't turn up. Sent from my M8L using Tapatalk
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
| SlumberKitty
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| Sometimes psychotic
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#844
May 04, 2022, 06:21 PM
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I feel like I'm in purgatory
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| SlumberKitty
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#845
May 04, 2022, 06:33 PM
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I submitted the appointment request for Mustachio to get spayed and all her shots. I put the $30 deposit down. I added every optional package (flea meds, nail trim, inflatable cone for after her surgery, etc..) and the total will be $243 but if I provide proof at time of appointment of being on assisted income I get a $100 discount. Just waiting on an email confirmation from them, will probably receive it tomorrow.
The appointment is for June 16th, that's the soonest they had available so I grabbed it before the slots were filled
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
| SlumberKitty
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| Angelique67, Sometimes psychotic, WastingAsparagus
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#846
May 04, 2022, 06:44 PM
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Quote:
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
| SlumberKitty
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| Sometimes psychotic
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#847
May 04, 2022, 07:20 PM
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I found a lot of articles that really helped me. I'm very tired but I'm OK.
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| SlumberKitty
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| Angelique67, Sometimes psychotic, WastingAsparagus
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#848
May 04, 2022, 07:45 PM
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I feel like this frequently Or as if I’m in hell Hugs |
| Desoxyn, SlumberKitty
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| Desoxyn
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#849
May 04, 2022, 08:18 PM
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Went ahead and tested myself for COVID just in case, it was negative so it's probably food poisoning or something
Sent from my M8L using Tapatalk
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
| SlumberKitty
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| Sometimes psychotic
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#850
May 04, 2022, 08:27 PM
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Goodnight. I'm having hallucinations from the lack of sleep. I'm going to see if I can fall asleep now. I hope so. And I feel very disconnected
Sent from my M8L using Tapatalk
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
| Desoxyn, SlumberKitty, WastingAsparagus
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