Roll Call 194

Hope you feel better SK

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I continually don’t tell my therapist or anyone about my problems/symptoms when I’m having them. I pretend that everything is fine and I’m doing well. I’ve been going to all the social things here and stuff but when I get home I just cry and think about how much I hate myself and hate feeling paranoid

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Yuck. I hate when I feel agitated like that. Can you try some calming deep breaths?

Breathe in for a count of four. Hold for a count of four. Breathe out for a count of four. Hold for a count of four. Repeat four times.

Thank you. I caught it pretty early on so the medicine is helping a lot already.

I'm just curious...why do you not open up more to your therapist? Do you feel like you can trust her? It's good that you are going to all the social stuff but you deserve to feel good about yourself. HUGS. Kit

HUGS Blue_Bird. I'm sorry you are having those thoughts.

I do trust her, I just feel like I should be doing well, and I was, and I don't want to mess that up and feel like more of a failure. I have a tendency to pretend everything is going fine when it's not, it's just a bad habit I've had for a long time

Hugs bluebird. Some of this paranoia sounds a lot like anxiety…..like I always feel like people are talking about me behind my back but it’s not severe enough to be paranoia for me. The way I dealt with it was cbt….both through a good therapist….not just someone who listens but someone who gives constructive help. Honestly most people are thinking of themselves and not you.

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

If you had a physical illness would you feel like a failure? If that is different then try to think of it as an illness in general.

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

I'm not refering to the feeling like people talking about me as being paranoia, that's anxiety, it's other stuff that my doctor said was paranoia that I don't feel comfortable bring up on here most of the time because I feel like people are following me on here and reporting me. (not you guys) The paranoia my doctor said is related to meds poisoning me, and people reading/hearing my thoughts

But as for the anxiety, yeah I know CBT, I have a good therapist that gives constructive help, and I do a lot of CBT with her, I just haven't found it helpful to be honest, I was doing better when I was on perphenazine, my anxiety was a lot lower

Sorry bluebird I was confused…didn’t mean to minimize what you’re going through. Can you try perphenazine again? We’re all different was just trying to say what works for me.

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

So I washed my face this morning and now going to bed I just feel frozen. I can’t do it.

I’ll try again tomorrow. Don’t beat myself up for easing back into routines. It’s all good.

I do see my doctor tomorrow so I’m kind of excited.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I hope your doctor appointment goes well cogladaid HUGS Kit

It's okay, I am not sure, I have my final appointment with my current psychiatrist in the end of September so I could ask her then

I took my morning meds and feel a little better today, last night was extremely horrible, I was on the verge of , I had been thinking about it for a few weeks but then I just got overwhelmed by stress and felt like I needed to do it but I couldn't, I can't leave my cats.

HUGS Blue_Bird. I am so sorry you are feeling so badly. HUGS Kit

I had a meeting with my care manager who works in the building today. She said I've made a lot of progress with socializing.

Anyway, we talked about my next goals and one of them is volunteering. She works at the same place I want to volunteer at. The one that helps people in the community with various things, food, etc. She works nights there as a therapist. So she's going to sit down with me next week and call the person she knows who's in charge of the volunteer stuff and we're going to figure out a volunteer position for me

My meeting with my T and my parents and me went well. She wants to bump me up to twice a week sessions. And she asked if I wanted to do IOP again, but I don't really want to. She wants to talk to my pdoc too. So starting this week we will have two sessions per week.

That's great Blue_Bird!!

Hugs bluebird….glad you’re a little better this morning. Sorry you’re feeling so bad though. Is there anything we can do to help or anyone you could reach out to for what you need to feel better?

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Thank you, I think I'll be okay, it will go away eventually, always does at some point, usually these kinds of things last a few months but not much longer than that then I have a good phase so we'll see how things go

I ordered the cats some treats since they're almost out. I got them a 16oz tub of Temptations, and Churu lickable/squeezeable puree tuna treats

Maybelle needs to gain a little weight (she's 13 years old so has trouble keeping weight on)

Ugh. Getting a migraine again. I took some medicine and shut off all the lights in my office. My eye is like twitching or something and it is bugging me. I'm trying to ignore it.

I was crying yesterday and Mustachio was trying to help me feel better

Awe, she's a cutie. I saw on FB a post that said that cats were the best antidepressants. No argument here!