General view on this. Diaper fetishism

Unconstruct · Feb 07, 2010 at 01:29 PM

When it boils down, this thing has made me a lonely, miserable bastard. Other guys my age have GF's, go out to dinner and have sex... I wear diapers and baby clothes...have no GF.

I truly must of done some bad things in a previous life to deserve this sort of BS and other things that are in my life that burden me.. I truly must be in hell right now..this must actually be hell.

Thanks to everyone for the insight.
Take care.

FooZe · Feb 07, 2010 at 01:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Unconstruct

I truly must of done some bad things in a previous life to deserve this sort of BS and other things that are in my life that burden me.. I truly must be in hell right now..this must actually be hell.

Sounds more like depression to me.

lynn P. · Feb 07, 2010 at 01:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Unconstruct

When it boils down, this thing has made me a lonely, miserable bastard. Other guys my age have GF's, go out to dinner and have sex... I wear diapers and baby clothes...have no GF.

I truly must of done some bad things in a previous life to deserve this sort of BS and other things that are in my life that burden me.. I truly must be in hell right now..this must actually be hell.

Thanks to everyone for the insight.
Take care.

In your inital post you didn't come across as so unhappy with your fetish, except for saying you wish you had more control. Obviously this fetish is getting in the way of your happiness. If you were happy and had this fetish, then I would say fine but you're not. I think you should find a therapist who specializes in fetishes. I agree with Foolzero you do sound depressed. I hope you come to terms and at manage this so you can have a more fulfilling life.

Best of luck.

Unconstruct · Feb 07, 2010 at 06:06 PM

I am sorry for the small rant I did.

Having a bad day today and I admit that it's more than the fetish that I am having problems with. I guess I focused on the fetish a little more because it has helped to calm me a little more than usual the past few years. Like I said originally it has become sort of a lifestyle that lets me escape the loneliness I have experienced for the past few years.

Yes...it's not just the fetish that is getting me down and out these days.

take care.

jennaorgana · Feb 07, 2010 at 06:15 PM

to each their own

i think it's kinda cool that you have something guaranteed to turn you on. i mean, i have basically no fetishes at all, and my sexual life is pretty effing boring. thought it may be strange and unique, that isn't anything to be ashamed of.

sorry you have been kicked off sites before, that must be the shits. i agree with thebyzantine though... sometimes life is a trade-off. if you visualize yourself going without this fetish, can you be happy? if you can't than that's your answer. my advice would be to TRY to go on without it. if a relationship is so rewarding and satisfactory, in every way, that you do not need your fetish anymore. if you find something that fills that need for you than you wont need to fill it with your fetish.

just my little two cents

Unconstruct · Feb 08, 2010 at 09:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jennaorgana

to each their own

i think it's kinda cool that you have something guaranteed to turn you on.

Yes that is true. Without going into TMI(like I haven't already ha-ha) it is very stimulating.... Just the mere site of "it" is a turn-on.

Quote:

sorry you have been kicked off sites before, that must be the shits.

When one goes in a forum and says "Hey I like wearing diapers and being coddled" one must expect some negative things said back and not be taken seriously. This forum is by far the most sympathetic I have been on.

[/QUOTE]

Unconstruct · Feb 08, 2010 at 09:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lynn P.

In your inital post you didn't come across as so unhappy with your fetish, except for saying you wish you had more control. Obviously this fetish is getting in the way of your happiness. If you were happy and had this fetish, then I would say fine but you're not. I think you should find a therapist who specializes in fetishes. I agree with Foolzero you do sound depressed. I hope you come to terms and at manage this so you can have a more fulfilling life.

Best of luck.

To be honest with you, I have been engaging into my fetish activities a lot more and a lot more intense than usual. I do believe I try to lull out some of the other pressures going on ATM like no GF and loneliness I have been dealing with. The fetish takes away A LOT of pressure and is extremely relaxing and I am grateful for that, but I have indeed been into it a lot more these days. So yes I have other pressure going on and if I can fix those I believe I can get more control of my fetish.

I also plan on next week, finding a specialist to help me out. I have alot going on and I'm not sure where to start, but I need to do something, because my life is going under a little to fast for my comfort. I want to be happy again.

Thanks for your help.

Unconstruct · Feb 08, 2010 at 09:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fool Zero

Was the fear of getting caught (and perhaps considered a freak) entirely a problem for you, or was it also part of the attraction -- forbidden fruit, "I'm doing something they don't know about"?

I was always 100% without a doubt afraid of getting caught. I became extremely clever at getting and hiding my diapers like making secret doors in the dry-wall in my room. I would cut dry-wall when my mom and dad were gone then stick an entire pack of Depends and Pampers in there. I would close this up and put a poster over it then put a shelf over it, screws and everything. On weekends I would take it apart and retrieve a diaper then wear it at night. I had to put it on slowly as to not make noises(the diaper would crinkle the tapes made sounds) So yes..I was very afraid of getting caught. In all my years though..I have never been caught, but I still take extreme measures at my own home at hiding it. I cannot take a chance of a friend or family finding out... I can't bare the thought of it.

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Why a six-year-old would, is the sort of thing that psychoanalysts speculate and argue about, often without arriving at a completely satisfactory answer. Why you did, you could probably reconstruct by looking at your own experience of it for a while

My goal is to find out why...why at 6 years old I needed to feel the serenity of wearing diapers. I still remember my first attempts at this fetish... I would put the diaper on and suck my thumb....at 6 years old. I have been thinking very hard for the last week as to why I think I did that so young... I believe back then I did indeed needed the attention, to be a baby again, because something I needed was not there... I want to know what that something is and I have wondered about this for my entire life.

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Could you be thinking of San Francisco? There's a famous Bay-to-Breakers race there but I've never heard of one in San Diego, a significantly more conservative community the last I heard.

Maybe it's San Francisco...I get them confused lol. Though I have seen pics of people wearing diapers at that race..out in public in the heat of the day. Also some race completely naked and it's allowed. I would never do it naked though!

I would love to wear my diaper in front of everyone though. Google Bay to breakers race diapers and you will see what I am talking about.
I am 80% sure that the guys that wear the diapers at this race are fetishist like myself, but who knows.

Quote:

Ooh, go for it, go for it!

Can I post pics?....lol

Unconstruct · Feb 08, 2010 at 10:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rhapsody

May I ask who was missing from your life by age 6, or, who came into your life that got the attention you so desperately desired (needed)?

No one was missing, but I did feel alone at times.. Many nights I remembered sitting in my room by myself putting together stuff or playing with toys while my family was watching TV or outside. When my cousin was born and he came over every weekend I would watch my aunt change him and coddle him ect ect.... She showed me how to change diapers even though I was barely out of them myself lol... and little did she know...I was wearing them and stealing them from her.

So with a little bit of shame.... I felt at 6 years old I wanted to be my cousin having my aunt coddle me.

Quote:

P.S.
If you have ever watched "Everybody Loves Raymond" you will understand why I am asking the question above...

Robert "the older brother" taps his chin with every piece of food before he eats it and this behavior is still in practice even though he is a full grown man and is deemed to be due to the fact that as a small child baby brother Ray stole all the attention away from Robert when he came into this world... and Robert "lonely and needing" picked up a nurturing behavior he saw mom perform one day when she tried to get baby brother Ray to eat his food (touch his chin then swoop food into mouth) - the tapping of food to the chin is now Roberts way of compensating for the lack of attention he failed to get from his childhood and still feels his does not receive as an adult.

Love that show

...

I know Robert's chin thing well and perhaps the diaper thing serves the same concept for me... being the baby getting the attention and all the love.

Just sucks, because it seems I would still be an attention seeker or needing special love as an adult. Not the case though, because I do well on my own and have earned my way in the job market as well. I do want the attention of a significant other though..really bad and that is one of my other problems...I am feeling uber lonely from not having an SO... It's just me and the fetish and it's not good enough anymore.

lynn P. · Feb 08, 2010 at 10:19 PM

I mentioned this before - we know there are people like yourself who like to wear diapers - so are there people who like to see others in diapers too? Wouldn't a person like this be a good match for a significant other for you? Is there a support group for people like yourself? I also wondered if your significant other wore diapers - would you like that? Sorry for all the questions, but I'm truly interested. Glad to here you sound in a better mood today.

Unconstruct · Feb 08, 2010 at 10:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lynn P.

[B][COLOR=darkolivegreen] I looked it up on Wikepedia and it stated that sometimes people with this fetish also enjoy dirtying the diapers. Please know you're free not to answer, if this makes you uncomfortable

I will pee in them yes, but never the other... that is too disgusting. I do like the warmth of being wet though and it adds to the stimulation for sure.

Quote:

I would like to understand. Do you depend on this as the only way to be aroused or can you take it or leave it? I wonder also - are there people who also like to see others in diapers

Having casual sex with a woman is just as stimulating and with no diapers, baby stuff or anything. I love casual sex with just us. In the back of my mind I want to be diapered and babied by my girl and it's something i must have in conjunction with just casual sex. To have someone change you while you just lay there is the ultimate high in the AB/DL world. Not many of us get to experience it and I have experienced it twice. Once with a GF and once with a girl(escort).

Also yes, I love to see adult girls wearing diapers and if you google girls in diapers there will be a site with exactly what I am talking about. Seeing a girl in a diaper turns me on more than seeing one naked. There are billions of pictures on the internet of adults wearing diapers(mostly woman) because men are the ones mostly with this fetish. I do chat with a woman who is a DL though.... She is great, but is unwilling to take the relationship further than the internet. We have shared pics of each other in diapers as well as naked.

Unconstruct · Feb 08, 2010 at 10:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lynn P.

I mentioned this before - we know there are people like yourself who like to wear diapers - so are there people who like to see others in diapers too? Wouldn't a person like this be a good match for a significant other for you? Is there a support group for people like yourself? I also wondered if your significant other wore diapers - would you like that? Sorry for all the questions, but I'm truly interested. Glad to here you sound in a better mood today.

Opps I answered the other post, but to catch up.

Yes..there are others that like to see others in diapers and many woman that are willing to be partners that wear diapers exist as well, but they are rare to find around town.

The group I belong too on the internet is great for support. It's a forum for other AB/DL's and they are very supportive... I am a regular poster on that forum and if you would like, I can P/M you the link so you can see how we really are and normal otherwise besides the fetish.

I would love my SO to wear diapers and I have gotten one to wear them for me. She also would fondle me in my diaper and I would do that to her..dry humping while diapered ect ect. Many do not stay with it though and the novelty wears off for them then they just see it as strange and get turned off.

lynn P. · 11:13 PM

Thanks for your honesty and sharing. Since there are sites that support this kind of fetish, what were you hoping find here - not that you're not welcome. Maybe sharing this with people here is therapudic for you? If you had one wish regarding this fetish - what would it be? What I mean is - do you wish you could forget about it or what would you wish for?? I'm glad you're more more comfortable talking about it. I also wonder if the mystery was taken out of this fetish, would this make it less appealing where you would feel better - after all alot of this fetish comes from the forbidden, secretive nature. I'm just full of questions -aren't I(lol)? I think it more people asked questions instead of just quickly judging, the world would be a better place.

Unconstruct · Feb 08, 2010 at 11:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lynn P.

Thanks for your honesty and sharing. Since there are sites that support this kind of fetish, what were you hoping find here -

Those other forums are full of people just like me and they talk about the fetish, different diaper brands how to make the adult kind more babyish adding prints..ect ect. They will help you if you're feeling strange about the fetish and they're always nice to you. However they will always agree with you..never give negative for your fetish...Their advice is biased because they are into the same thing. I wanted to go out of the circle and bring this into a place where, probably, I am the only one of my kind in that place. I wanted to see what reactions non AB/DL would have and how they see the person engaging in such fetishes. I'm trying to prep myself before I seek pro help offline and posting about this in a forum like this helps me with what I need to explain and bring out. I will also admit...seeing positive replies towards this helps me feel a bit more normal and that does help a lot. People could easily right me off as a pervet and that would hurt...making me feel even more ashamed of this fetish.

Quote:

If you had one wish regarding this fetish - what would it be? What I mean is - do you wish you could forget about it or what would you wish for??

I would wish to have a regular sexual relationship and forget diapers and anything to do with it.

Quote:

I also wonder if the mystery was taken out of this fetish, would this make it less appealing where you would feel better -

I believe once the mystery of why I have this thing is found out, then I truly believe that my lust for the fetish would be a lot less if not totally gone. I wouldn't forget it, but I wouldn't miss the inconvience, or trouble it brings into relationships. I believe I could build a better life with someone without this fetish. I am hoping my lust is gone once I get into the whys, because I want a S.O so bad and the fetish is preventing it, it's not easy for another to cope and take part in such a fetish..it turns them off to see a man wearing diapers and sleeping with them in a one piece pajama.

Quote:

after all alot of this fetish comes from the forbidden, secretive nature. I'm just full of questions -aren't I(lol)?

I don't mind..... Most DL/AB would never come out with it, but I decided too, because I was tired of wondering why me... why do I have this silly addiction.. I needed to present it to the non AB/DL community and ask what they think.. I am happy to explain to you what it's all about and it feels good to show people that the people that take part in these fetishes are not crazy people that will end up wearing diapers and straight jackets in an institution. We are not perverts either and never into any bad things that some like to associate the AB.DL community with.

FooZe · Feb 09, 2010 at 01:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Unconstruct

Can I post pics?....lol

If you click on the "My Profile" link in the blue bar at the top of most Forum pages...

... you should get a "User Control Panel" page with a whole bunch of links in the sidebar. Clicking on Pictures & Albums (Under Networking) should take you to a page where you can create an album and upload pictures to it.

lynn P. · 03:10 PM

Hi Unconstruct,

I think sharing your fetish in a supportive atmosphere will be very therapudic for you. Like you said, sharing your beliefs with others who believe the same is easy. Part of what makes the fetish a problem, is the secrecy and shame that's attached to it. I don't think you're a pervert. I also don't think you should strive for curing it, although you said you wish it would go away. I think you should approach it, from the point of controlling it for now. I did some research and unfortunately there aren't alot of studies or guaranteed treatment success stories -so I wouldn't want you to come to this, thinking you need to conquer it - this might lead to disappointment. It said most of the people with this fetish are happy and don't want to change, so that why there isn't alot of research. I think taking thebrave step of bringing this to the general public of PC, is a valuable step in the right direction. As you can see, we're not rejecting or sitting in shock with our mouths open. If we shame you, this would make you retreat and further reinforce your fetish.

There must be some therapist who deals with this and it's just a matter of finding one. In the information I found, it stated there isn't alot of studies dealing with this because it's secretive and most don't want to change. It also pointed out that most men who do this behavior are very law abiding citizens, so there's no police records dealing with problems resulting from this fetish - meaning you're generally good people.

I found some reference that it would be good to search into where this first started in your childhood. Can you recall the first time this happened. One article stated that perhaps as a child, they were encouraged to be mature before they were ready, so they rebelled and went the opposite way - back to being a baby. I'm also wondering if this behavior is a way of 'depersonalizing' away from your regular role in society. Perhaps there was something that made you feel, you needed to regress as a child. To explain this further, are you doing this to regress away from what you feel you should be doing? This could explain you engaging it more, when you're stressed - it's a form of escape. Maybe you're afraid deep inside that you can't handle having a significant other, so you keep this fetish - which acts like a barrier, which prevents you from having the life you yearn for. I could be wrong on some of these possible speculations, but I'm just tossing these ideas around, hoping you'll have a 'lightbulb moment".

I think it you tune into what event or point in your life were you at, that started this, you will better understand it. I also think you should tap into the fear of letting it go/controlling it and come to terms with how you would handle life without it. There might be a little fear about welcoming a significant other, into your solitary life. I think you're grappling with you want a significant other(but you don't) - you need to trade it with your fetish. Significant other needs versus controlling your fetish.

I think it's good you came here and now you know what you want -to at least understand your fetish, so you can control it, to have a more fulfilling life. I'll give you a link that I saw was good - there is some religious things I don't like - just disregard that. I don't believe this can be cured by being more religious! I think you need to give yourself more credit, that you're not a weirdo or pervert -not a danger to society or children. If you remove the shame from the fetish, this would help you control it more. Here is the link I found:

http://understanding.infantilism.org/what_causes_infantilism.php

hippyman · Feb 17, 2010 at 12:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Unconstruct

Hello all,

My name is Dave and I have a subject at hand that I am both nervous and feeling strange talking about. I am hoping this more specific website, that has to do with mental issues and addictions, contains those that are more able to give constructive advice and opinions to me. I have posted(and have been kicked off other "love/self help" type forums for being assumed as a troll or whatever for the subject I presented. I was both embarrassed and shamed for the responses and being kicked off fo r real problem that I really wanted help with.

I'll start by saying that I indeed have a fetish that is commonly referred to as a DL/AB type lifestyle. DL is a Diaper Lover and AB is an adult that enjoys regression or "playing" baby dressed in diapers and wearing baby outfits "Adult Baby" I am more a DL than an AB, but I have ventured to the AB side more than one occasion. I do own several onsie type outfits and one-piece pajamas..things like that .
I am trying to be as detailed and simplistic as I can be in trying to explain to people how this is and what it's about. I hope you can bare with me and hopefully I can get a general view on what people think. I am planning to get offline help for this, but this is a good start.

I have felt the need to wear diapers since childhood(I'm 33 now) It's been with me forever and no, I have never suffered abuse or the like..I had a "normal" childhood. Also this has nothing to do with children or any of the things people associate diapers with. I am NOT one of those people so please do not bring it into this conversation.

The first memories I have are way back..I was like 6 years old and I stole diapers from my Aunts Diaper bag when she came over with my cousin on weekends. I can remember the excitement of seeing a diaper bag full of white diapers, the feel of the plastic and the smell of baby powder. I would run into bed and put them on....pretending to be a baby. This lasted for about a year and I went for over 7 years with no crave for diapers . At 14 I started to see commercials and magazine adds for Depends "adult diapers" I remember them showing the tapes and how they are pulled up between the legs ect ect and it re-sparked my curiosity. I would masturbate to it and craved to have the Depends on. At 14 I couldn't drive and had no money so I made due by making my own diapers out of towels and white Hefty bags.

At 18 I got a job and I started buying Depends...wearing them at night..ect ect... I've done this since then and at 33 years old I remain single and the fetish is getting to be a nuisance. I have displayed myself in public(Halloween) in just diapers and T-shirts. That idea started when I saw that college students at my college had wore diapers on initiation for Freshman year(New students = babies= diaper babies) is the idea. I thought wearing a diaper and shirt would not be a big deal for a Halloween thing. So for a few Halloweens now, I have been wearing them in public with good results. I have people wanting pictures with me, getting invited to parties and I even won a costume contest. My baby costume is quite nice consisting of a sleeper with prints, bottle and my diaper which is real and can be noticed underneath. Sometimes I go with just the diaper and shirt on.

So now you can see how far into my psyche this is for me. It's been part of me for my entire life, it has been the cause of my most recent break-up and it is really hurting now. Sometimes I try to forget it I box everything up and try to keep busy. I can't do it though. Anytime I see a diaper commercial, hear about Depends..ect ect.. I get the crave back.

It has become an obsession now and I really want to make an effort to at least understand why....why do I enjoy such an embarrassing, socially unacceptable, disturbing thing like this? I am totally normal when I am not regressed and wearing my outfits and that is something that most people will sit here and say.."you're a freak, weird, child molester rapist...and you are NOT normal. It really hurts to hear...you do not know.

So in conclusion..I have let you all inside something not many AB/or DL share often.... We are embarrassed about it and always scared of what other's think. We know it's strange, but we are more afraid of being labeled criminal sexual predators or something because of it. I hope to hear some very honest opinions about what I presented and I hope that you can see I am trying to honestly understand and get more control over this thing.

I plan on getting in person help with this, but for now I need a general idea what people would do when someone with a weird fetish admits it. I know in my heart I cannot totally leave my fetish... I just want to be able to shut it off when I want..to get more control over it and the sexual side of it.

I'm nervously awaiting for some mature and honest opinions about what I presented, those that want to insult or throw out assumptions about my state of mind without understanding..please do not reply.

To those that want to understand and can see I am trying to approch this in a mature manner, I really appreciate your concern and I wil be sure to give rep-points when I can.

Thank you
Dave.

Hi Dave, I can understand exactly where you are coming from, as I too have this same fetish, however, I am not sure wether I want to get over it or not. Given my situation tho, I might need to, as I am 26, and have never "been" with a woman.

lynn P. · Feb 18, 2010 at 11:12 AM

Hippyman - most men who engage in this activity are content and don't want to get over this. If it's not affecting your life negatively then you don't have to think of it as 'something to get over'. The only problem is, it would be hard to find a woman that doesn't mind this - although there probably are some. You would just need to be discreet I guess. I think it becomes problematic when you're forced to become secretive. Best of luck to you.

roadracer · Feb 24, 2010 at 05:56 AM

Hi Unconstruct, I have been part of the ab/dl community for around ten years, so I know plenty about it! Although not a fetish for me, and nothing sexual about it for me, it is more of a way that I used to accept and deal with nocturnal enuresis, and childhood abuse, and my disabilities. All threw my teen years, when alone, I would often regress, and let my inner child out, it was a way to feel secure, safe, comfort. I guess it was a way to deal with my issues. Things were always a bit complicated for me because of my disabilities (autism), so I think that my family didnt give it much thought.
I am 25, and really dont regress to often anymore. I guess I really dont feel the need to regress that often now.
I do have a obsession with Spongebob that I will probably never give up, but I dont think it has anything to do with being a ab/dl, it is just a great show

I am going to say though, I dont mean any offense, but I dont think it is a good idea of you posting photos of yourself as a ab/dl here, (unless you have cloths on overtop)

I go to a great ab/dl support site, if you want, I can pm you a link?

lynn P. · Feb 24, 2010 at 01:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by roadracer

Hi Unconstruct, I have been part of the ab/dl community for around ten years, so I know plenty about it! Although not a fetish for me, and nothing sexual about it for me, it is more of a way that I used to accept and deal with nocturnal enuresis, and childhood abuse, and my disabilities. All threw my teen years, when alone, I would often regress, and let my inner child out, it was a way to feel secure, safe, comfort. I guess it was a way to deal with my issues. Things were always a bit complicated for me because of my disabilities (autism), so I think that my family didnt give it much thought.
I am 25, and really dont regress to often anymore. I guess I really dont feel the need to regress that often now.
I do have a obsession with Spongebob that I will probably never give up, but I dont think it has anything to do with being a ab/dl, it is just a great show

I am going to say though, I dont mean any offense, but I dont think it is a good idea of you posting photos of yourself as a ab/dl here, (unless you have cloths on overtop)

I go to a great ab/dl support site, if you want, I can pm you a link?

I think he may have been joking with us regarding the pictures.

Uncontruct - you haven't been on in a while and your post in another forum(what are you afraid of) made me feel concerned. Are you okay? If you see this, let me know you're alright - okay?

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General view on this. Diaper fetishism

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